I hate to say this, but if you want her to go to sleep without being rocked you'll kinda have to teach her.
It's not easy, but I'm pretty sure it's the only way. Have you tried puting her to sleep any other way??
I have a rocker, but at one stage if I put Jesse in it, I couldn't rock him. He hated, I had to push it back & forth like a pram.
He was a good sleeper & is slowly coming good again. He forgot how to self settle & had alot of probs sleeping & going to sleep.
Now I walk him til he's really settled. Nearly asleep, but still awake, then put him down. Sometimes he falls asleep first, but it's working - slowly.
He occasionally puts himself to sleep. I try putting him down with the dummy a few times first, before I pick him up. Then if he won't settle just with the dummy I'll pick him up. Sometimes I have to use a feed as a last resort, but not too often.
Anyway, last night he slept from 10.30pm til 6am. I think it's coz he is learning to self settle again. I saw him do it during his day sleeps today. A few times he got woken up, but instead of screaming & waking up, he'd have a winge & go back to sleep.
OK I've gone on long enough. I really hope I helped! Goodluck.
You might try her in a hammock if she likes the movement.
My son was quite similar, and most of the time the hammock was a lifesaver, cos it rocks/bounces itself and you dont need to do as much. Sometimes the hospital will hire them out to you to try.
She will eventually learn to go to sleep on her own, I promise...just dont ask me for a timeframe..
I'm kinda with bjrose on this one - if your little one is screaming etc. with being rocked, maybe you could use this time now to teach her to self settle......as she'll most probably fight it to begin with but if you set up a consistent settling pattern and remain persistent with it for a week, maybe 2, you'll most probably have a little angelic sleeper by the end. Yep, am talking about the whole 'controlled crying' thing but its really not as negative as its made out to be I did it with both my girls and they are fabulous sleepers! (with no side effects! )
At around the same age at nap/bed time, we would change our little ones nappies, give them a quiet cuddle in their room, then pop them in their gro bag, tuck them in, say nighty night and leave. If they cracked it, we'd monitor them for the next 5 to 10 minutes and if they were still going, we'd go in, do a quick once over (ie check nappy, too hot/cold, twisted etc) then another cuddle, not as long but still lovely and then tuck them back in. etc etc etc. In the beginning we had to go in a lot, after not too long, it'd only take one check and then they'd be out to it. Now, DD#2 at 13&1/2 months, no checks.
The other thing we did was decided when and how long they needed to nap for. So if they woke up too soon, as in only napped for 20minutes - for a little one that's not long enough so we'd do a quick quiet resettle, the same as when we first put them to bed. Again, the girls learnt to sleep in solid blocks and as they got older we simply adjusted their nap lengths as well as how many they had during the day. I believe the key was giving the girls a rhythm to learn then they knew what to expect and felt comfy falling into that pattern iykwim.
Hard work in the beginning but gosh it pays back in dividends!
Sorry bout the long post! They are just my thoughts lovey but I do hope that it helped a little. Thinking of you and I really hope your little one settles for you soon
Does she go to sleep if you go for a drive??? At one time me and hubby would hit the road EVERY night, until our little "bundle of joy" fell asleep. It was to keep us sane, not to please her.
And chin up, it does get better, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually it does
Awww Ben, I empathise with you! As I write DP is rocking our bub to sleep in the pram (but please, don't look at my ticker to check how old he is, you'll get seriously depressed. BTW - it only took 10 minutes).
Euan used to self-settle, but teething and other milestones can throw that out in a huge way. Now, with tooth number two coming through, he only settles in the pram (or car, or other motion device), on the boob, or in a carrier. On the one hand, it's not as easy as just popping him into his cot and leaving him to it, on the other, he will sleep anywhere as long as he has one of his tried and tested methods to get to sleep.
If controlled crying isn't your thing, but you want to encourage Isabell to self settle, there are ways to do it without CC. When E learnt to self settle, he was about 3 months old, and we were at the end of our tether. We would literally spend all day trying to get him to sleep - he was a newborn and he only got about 8-10 hours of sleep a day. He really cracked it when we tried to rock or carry him to sleep, which was all that worked previously, and it was almost like he needed something that was less stimulating. So when we put him to bed, we wrapped him, and lay next to him on our bed, stroking his head and whispering to him (or singing, or shh-ing) whatever works. We would sometimes have to gently hold his arms to start with so he wouldn't try to wriggle out of the wrap, but he would eventually and gently drift off to sleep. After some weeks, the amount of time we needed to spend with him decreased, and some days we could wrap him and just lie next to him without any contact and he would fall asleep within a few minutes.
If she does need some form of motion or cuddling to sleep, why not invest in a good carrier, if you haven't already? It makes carrying a babe to sleep so much easier for parents, and the snuggliness of a good wrap (for example) is very conducive to drifting off to sleep.
How old is Isabell now? Are there any other issues (like wind) that might be preventing her from getting to sleep? Have you considered sleep school? What about a swing style rocker - they are expensive but do the work for you! I wish we had bought one - I used a friend's and Euan was asleep in five minutes whilst I sat and had a cup of tea. Unfortunately he was nearly 5 months old and a boofer, so it wasn't worthwhile buying one at that point.
I hope you start getting some relief soon - and that the rocker doesn't end up over the fence. Good luck!
You know after reading suse's post I rememberd reading something in a baby sleeping book once ... it was for newborns, but no harm in trying ???
About the wrapping. I know she is screaming her pretty little lungs out (give her a dummy or her finger to suck), but try and wrap her tightly and then place her over your left shoulder (near your heart) then hold her firmly (light pressure) and rock (again with the rocking) slowly back and forth just shhhhh-ing as loud as she is crying and gradually going softer as she is getting calmer. Try to do this in a quiet darkish room, not pitch black, just curtians drawn. The goal of this is to get the surroundings as near as possible to the uterus and to get her to experiance the same "pressure" as in the uterus. It made sense to me when I read it ... my bubba was already 13 months then, so I did not have a little lab-rat to test it on .. but it's worth a try, right???
Goodluck!!
I love suse's idea about checking if it's not wind that is bothering her??
Thanks Nadine! We used to do the wrapping/rocking/shh-ing thing, hadn't read it anywhere but it just evolved from trying different things iykwim - anyway, it works!
ETA: Ben, I think it was about four or five months we had the same thing happen. It's a giant PITA. As much as Euan is the most wonderful creature that ever existed (lol), last night at 4:30 am when he just wouldn't go back to sleep after a day of psycho-baby I did want to leave him to sort it out for himself and go back to bed with a big pair of earmuffs. Just remember - it will get better.
Last edited by suse; July 31st, 2008 at 11:49 PM.
: ETA
Give the hammock, or battery operated swing a go My DS STILL likes to be rocked to sleep sometimes Whatever it takes I figure. I truly know how frustrating it is, but she will likely need some help to go to sleep for awhile. Just think, adults often have trouble getting to sleep, so think how hard it must be for a baby, especially if they're overtired. No wonder they want some help! Trust me, this stage will be over soooo quickly, and hopefully without too much grief for you
Just thought I would point out, with NO judgement whatsoever, that CC is not recommended for babies under 6 months.
She is coming up to 4 months old now..
Shes usually really placid in the car, occasionaly will sleep but usually just relaxed and quiet.
Its so frustrating, not that long ago we had a week straight where she would show her tired signs, and we'd wrap her and put her in the cot and she went straight off to sleep. We were in heaven, but it only lasted a week then went back to this.
Sometimes she really goes off her trolley and ill cradle her in my arms and rock her while she's going off, and in an instant, almost like the flick of a switch, shes out like a light.
Usually though, we have to work through the screaming and eventually she pipes down and drifts off.
During the day is a nightmare, its constantly about a sleep deprived cranky baby.
At night though, once we get her to sleep in her rocker by 8 or 9pm, meg waits a while and then transfers her to the cot, no problem at all, and she will sleep sometimes through the whole night. Although usually she will wake at 2 or 3am for food and then she will go straight back in the cot. No drama's. It's just during the day shes a mega hassle and it really sucks!!
Where does she sleep during the day?
If she's in the lounge, or where there's tv noise etc it might just be too loud & bright.
I was sleeping DS in the lounge room during the day, so his body clock wouldn't stuff up, but I put him back in our room, & he's gone from 10 - 20 minute day sleeps to usually an hour or more.
He's in a porta cot in our room & we just bought him a new cot, so I'm gonna start him sleeping in the new cot in DD2's room through the day to get him used to it, then when he's sleeping better through the night, I'll start putting him in there. I'm leaving him in the porta cot in our room for now though, coz he knows it & is more settled in there.
Janie - I only go out til Jesse starts crying. If he is just sooking I leave him, & I don't time it. If he's sooking for about 5 minutes I go in & try the dummy again. If I have to go in more than 3 or 4 times, I know he's not going to settle himself, thats when I go pick him up & rock til he settles, then put him down. If he starts crying then - very rare - I will rock/walk him to sleep.If that doesn't work then as a last resort I might feed him.
Is that considered control crying?? I never let him actually cry, just winge.
Sorry to hijack, hopefully I'm clearing this up for everyone. I haven't read about it yet.
Last edited by ~clover~; July 31st, 2008 at 11:52 PM.
We rocked our DD to sleep every night in her bassinet (on wheels) when she was younger. Now she self settles, so yes it does get easier. Hang in there. I can recall many nights of spending half an hr rock rock rocking.
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but its really not as negative as its made out to be 
I did it with both my girls and they are fabulous sleepers! (with no side effects! 
) 
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