I shouldn't have googled!

[Heaven]

That actually brought tears to my eyes because I have been struggling with how my feelings have changed for DS. I still love him but my feelings are more of guilt that my time and attention have been taken away from him.

This is what I am worried about. I feel like DD will feel sad and pushed aside bc I won't have as much time for her. People keep telling me it will be fine and she will adjust and everything but I still feel sad. I can't believe how close we are and how much I love her, I never imagined it would be like this and now I don't want it to change!

I will PM you with the link to the full article aswell bc it has a happier ending

[feeb]

I get bits of it but not all.

When DH came back with DS1 to see me I did think ohh my baby is no longer a baby! When I first changed his nappy after being in hospital and only doing DS2 I was like wow his nappies are massive LOL.

The sleep deprived snapping at toddler yep that happens too.

But I still love DS1 as much if not more as its a new exciting journey watching him interact with DS2 and want to hold and kiss him. The feed together and DS1 forever patting and stroking DS2 while feeding

[Lolli]

heaven, you always start the most interesting threads

I just thought I'd weigh in here. i don't think the author of that article's experience is typical- except for the way your toddler looks so much bigger when you first see them after having a newborn. The first few weeks were hard- ds was stressed out, I was tired and snappy, and I just felt so sorry for my little man, having effectively lost his best mate (me) and not understanding why i spent so much time cuddling (feeding) this new thing. And i was sad- up until dd was born, it had been me and ds against the world. there was a period od grieveing there, mourning for that special relationship that had changed. There was one awful moment that i still cringe over, when i yelled at ds when dd was just 2 days old, for waking us.... but these things happen, new baby or no Even if you only have one kid, you will have bad days.

But.... I gave my ds a sibling, and I can't think of a better gift. We feel more like a family unit now. He loves his sister and she adores him. Any big change is going to be hard for toddlers- at least with this big change, they get something really cool at the end of it!

HTH