Impossible 5 month old

[Beautitude]

Not sure what i want to gain from this post. I guess i want some advice, support and a bit of a vent so here goes.

DS is 5 months old and is getting a bit impossible. Love him to bits but lately it is impossible to leave the house with him. The problem mainly stems from the fact that he is a bit of a creature of habit and doesn't sleep very well outside of the house. Although lately he doesn't seem to sleep very well in the house either lol!! He gets really over tired and gets really upset which in turn makes me really upset. I have been in tears so much lately because of this.

Ds is a pretty big bub and i find it difficult to hold him for long periods so if we are out and about i find it very hard to rock him to sleep for a bit of a snooze. He is ok in the pram but will only usually go down for one really short nap which doesn't really help his mood. Plus if we are somewhwere like mothers group where there is limited space i cant take my pram in. I know i should stay home with him more but a get cabin fever staying at home all day and i feel in a better state of mind if i get out and about so i need him to learn to be a bit more flexible in his sleep environment. I just dont know how to do it.

Lately he hates the car and screams and screams all the time in the car and wont go to sleep like he used to.

Im not sure as well if he is maybe getting teeth which is causing this crabby behaviour.

Im at a loss and dont know what to do. It seems like everyone other than me does a better job of keeping him happy and its not good for my self confidence. He seems to always be on the go (without actually going anywhere obviously) and i often feel like he loves dh and his grandparents more than me as they can have him giggling uncontrolably (sp?) but i cant. What am i doing wrong. How do i relax and just go with the being a mummy flow. I get so stressed about making sure he has had a sleep feed etc before i go out that i think i make it harder for myself.

why am is such a useless mummy??? Why dont i know my son yet??

[Oorki Galoorki]

he is a bit of a creature of habit

He gets really over tired and gets really upset

if he is maybe getting teeth

I think you know your son really well!!

some babies are like that and there isnt alot you can do to change it.
you are definatley not a useless mummy!

do you have a routine( not the R word) but you know he will roughly have a sleep 10am then 3pm? try and plan to go out inbetween sleeps, try not to worry about having a screaming baby when out we all do it, just feed him or give a toy.. i talk ALOT while im out to occupy my kidlets..

it will improve!

[Chocaholic]

Stop right there!! You are a fantastic mum who is trying to do her best for her gorgeous boy. Just because it isn't perfect all the time, doesn't mean you don't know him. Nothing is always perfect!!

He may be going through a trying stage at the moment but you are there for him 24, 7. The others are more of a novelty because he doesn't see them as often. He is obviously confident in your love that he can just be who he is. At the moment he is cranky. In a week, he may be the happiest little one ever.

I am not much help I know but please, be confident in the fact that you love him and want what is best for him. Also it is obvious that he adores his mummy.

Good luck! Big hugs

[Beautitude]

Thanks for your replies ladies.

Doudou we dont really have a routine, i kinda just let him do what he wants and follow his lead. Unfortunately when things get predictable he goes and changes again. Love it how they do that! I do try and just go with it when he starts screaming in public. Sometimes I feel like i am doing it mainly for the people looking at me as i am screaming inside. Its getting to the point that I am getting scared of going out with him as i dont want to feel out of control.

CourtRach thannks for the support. I know what you say is true and thank you for the new perspective about him laughing more with others. I never really thought about it that way.

What gets me the most is when my mum or mil will tell me how lucky i am to have such an "easy " baby. I tell them that he isn't always so easy but they always brush it off as me being over the top coz their children were much harder than their precious grandson lol! I sometimes wonder why if he is so easy do i struggle so much sometimes...

[KatieRabbit]

Don't you just love MIL and mum's comments! If only they knew... You sound like you are doing a really great job and going through a rough patch. If DS is screaming when out he is prob overtired. FWIW my DD (now 17 months) won't sleep at anyone else's house, in the car or in the pram when out. Some babies are just like that and she has been all along. Get out when you can after DS has had a sleep and feed and don't stay out too long and I would avoid really stimulating places with lots of people ie shopping centres!
Another great idea is a sling. I got an Ergo carrier when DD was about 4 or 5 months and I still use it every day. She loves it and no matter how tired she is she never cries in it and I can take her every where in it. Babies feel really safe and secure snuggled up next to mum's body.
Your DS probably sleep 3 times a day??? I can't remember the sleep at that age but I do know that 45 minute naps are very common at around 4 months onwards even though bubs needs more and wakes up cranky. Perhaps just stay home for a few days till you find a rhythm that works for you both and that you can manage outing with.

[Lady-bug]

You're doing a great job!! My DS was exactly the same at that age. I ended up putting it down to an age thing! Have you got a carrier/sling?? That would be my suggestion. And I agree that you need to keep getting out of the house, I found staying home just made me worse!

Hope that helps!! It will get better, give him a week or two and things will probably be totally different.

[OceanPrincess]

Agree with all the PPs, you are being a great mum! Don't say otherwise

My niece is 11 months and doesn't deal well with being out and about either, she won't sleep in the pram, cries in the car, sounds like like your DS! My sister even said the same thing you've been saying, she's a bad mum and shouldn't even be going out etc etc.

It seems to just be a stage she goes through every now and then. You are right, it could be teething. Be patient.

[*Belle*]

Hi there,

Firstly you are a good MUM! dont ever thing it is you, he cant communicate with words unfortunately so he is trying to communicate by crying. I went through this with DD1, I called Tresillian and they were good, they came to my house and also I ended up seeing a Lactation consultant as I was BF. We looked at a number of issues, maybe you can run through the list and see if any of these help?

1. Is he getting enough milk, how often does he feed, even with demand feeding which we did, still write it down how much he is getting or how often

2. Has he started solids? if not then maybe this is the time to start? he may need more than milk.

3. Tired signs, sometimes they are easy to miss. DD1 her tired signs were rubbing her eyes thats all, sometimes I missed it, and she was so hard to settle. DD2 her signs are much easier, she rubs eyes, yawns, gets clumsy in her crawling and wont focus on me or look at me when shes tired. I put her to bed when shes happy and gurgling and she is happy to go to bed. If she is yawning and crying then its too late and she crys and needs to be held rocked for 20minsor so.

3. Would you consider sleep school? I havent done it but heard wonders about it.

4. Where does he sleep? in a bassinet or a cot or co-sleeping. Also what does he sleep in? we moved DD1 to a sleeping bag at his age and he settled much better.

The average sleep for a 5month old would be 1 morning sleep, one lunchtime sleep and one afternoon sleep (3 times during the day) and then the night sleep. Only one of those sleeps will be a long sleep.

Hope some of this helps. Remember it isnt you, you are a wonderful mum.

Bel
xxx