My doctor thinks DD is abnormal? I'm so worried?!

[LimeSlice]

Carmen, its not good having family spread all overis it? My IL's are in New Zealand, and my family is all on the other side of the country! Which is obviously nothing like flying for 26 hours, but it is a big long expensive trip....especially with a young one.

Maybe you could bring his parents out to see you in canada? then they could see DD and you can not have to carry bubs all across the otherside of the world?

As for the fights with DF, I think that it is a massive task to adjust to life with a child at all, and then life with a baby is a lot of work, physically and emotionally. It is natural tht with little sleep, high stress and general day to day concerns that you two are going to butt heads. It will settle down though I think just about everyone goes through it in some way. So hang in there, slam some more doors and stand your ground with the IL's! You have to do what you think is best for DD and not be pressured into things you don't wat to do .

And when there are no more doors left to slam - there is always us!!


TC Alexis

[Trillian]

Carmen, maybe she is moving her limbs around like that because of the itching? As for her turned eye, my eldest DS developed a turned or 'lazy' eye when he was around 7-8mths old and it was quite bad when he was tired, otherwise it was fine. We didn't think anything of it because he never had problems with co-ordination or fine motor skills and once at school he never got headaches from eye strain, but as it turns out he is severely long sighted - about as long sighted as a person can be and had been like that since birth - and the turned eye was a symptom of that because when he was a baby and was learning to do all the normal things (like pick up small objects, stack blocks etc) he had to strain his eyes so hard to be able to focus that it caused the eye to turn in. he now wears glasses all the time to correct it and when he is an adult he can have lasik surgery to correct it.

So it may seem innocent (and loads of kids have turned eyes with no vision problems) but that has been our experience with it so it will be worthwhile getting it checked out at least.

[Cricket]

I agree - is there any way for your in-laws to come to Canada? They don't have a baby to tote!

As far as the fighting/arguing goes - can you and your DH take a little time away to relax and become closer? Or maybe try to have some regular dates? My DH and I have also had some more arguments than normal lately, and I think it is because we are both tired and very busy, and we end up being frustrated with each other. Otherwise, maybe you could go through a good book for couples together or something like that. Ken Sande has a great book called The Peacemaker, which I am thinking of reading with DH.
Anyways, I hope you are able to come to a good solution for all of you. Stress in the family is soooooo exhausting!

[Alipralli]

I agree - get in in-laws to visit you, surely it must be a lot easier for them to travel than for you?

My DD also has an eye that turns in, and is more noticable when she is tired. Our GP reckoned to wait till she was 12 months old to see if it would correct itself at all, and then when it hadn't, has given us a referral to see a paediatric opthalmologist - just waiting for that appointment to come around. But the GP reckoned that a lot of kids eyes do fox themselves, but to really wait until 12 months to see if they do. Then if it hasn't, they can either do surgery, or wear an eye patch, depending on its severity.

Sorry, can't help you with her weight, or her excema.

And I also agree with MantaRay - GPs don't know everything, and if they think something might be wrong, then that is when they give you a referral to see a specialist - you never know, the specialist might tell you that all is fine with your DD!

Hope you get all of your problems sorted out soon!

[Chocaholic]

Why don't you explain to your IL's why you do not want to travel with bubs at the moment? You have very valid reasons for not wanting to travel and if they know why you don't want to, that should stop the frequent requests. If it doesn't, simply ask them to stop as their request is not reasonable and invite them to visit you. Try and make them see they are being unreasonable.

Otherwise try and wait until you see the paed before you start worrying. Hard I know!!

[Carmen2]

If it wasn't all the encouragements I got from BB, I wouldn't have the guts to speak up to my ILs.

So, I have finally told them this morning that "I" have decided not to go back this year because of the reasons listed. I could tell at first they weren't too pleased because they were expecting me to say "the date of my arrival." At first, I felt a little scared because I didn't want to put DH in a tough position. He, on the other hand, actually stood on my side. I was pleased. I offered to pay for my ILs plane tickets to come see DD, but they are currently too occupied so I guess they'll come later or we'll fly back when she's older. At least this is somewhat settled.

THe problems between DH and I are definitely caused by fatigue and lack of communication. We have sat down and analyzed the sources of our arguments and came to one conclusion; no matter what the circumstance is, when one gets upset, the other should not start another fire... instead, s/he should walk away. Hopefully this will help to settle some problems. I lost track how many fights we've had since DD's birth. Some times I feel so discouraged and wonder if this will get worse day by day... DH and I hope for the best for DD so we have made a vow to each other that we will be more sensitive.

TBH, I am not very worried about her eyes. In fact, many infants learn to coordinate their eye movements in later weeks or months. I understand that it's a big task for DD learning everything at once.

My GP called me this week and asked me if I have booked an apointment with the paed yet. She seemed really concerned about DD. I tried to tell myself that it's probably a normal followup by the GP to all their patients. In the mean time, there's nothing I could do to change the apointment any sooner since the paeds are so overbooked.

I try not to worry myself out but easier said than done especially after the call from my GP. I wish these cloudy days would go away soon.

Sorry for the long vent... I must tire you all! Thank you for being such good listeners.

[Jac]

Carmen - If your GP is worried then she should be able to contact your Paed. which will often result in an earlier appointment, especially if she is rigning you to ensure you have made an appt. Did she mention this? PLease keep us updated onhow you get on.

Also, well done about dealing with the inlaws and communicating with your DH. Having a new baby can be such a strain on a relationship can't it? Sounds like you are doing a awesome job in somewhat stressful circumstances.