Thanks for the responses. It has helped me to realise that there is nothing wrong with DS the problem is with me. Teeki you summed it up perfectly by saying you wanted a solution that is where I was at. I did read that book but it is not for me and I won't be trying the routines out. I actually had a good night with DS last night. I stopped writing down his sleep times and rather than try and spend 2 hours settling him I just chucked him in bed with me and we co slept. He was still unsettled but we did get more sleep than usual and at 5 am when he was up for the day I woke DH up gave him the baby and went back to sleep for a couple of hours on my own which was great. I still don't want to co sleep but until he sorts out his nights from days I will do it if it means more sleep.

To answer other questions I did find the birth a little traumatic- it was an induction which ended with an epidural and vacuum extraction but it was being stuck on the bed with that horrible synto drip that I found traumatic. DS was quite upset when he came out and had a nasty bruise on his head. We are using infants friend as I find it really helps him with his wind. He does seem more settled on the Zantac so ill stick with it as I have been told it doesn't cause any harm. I have an ergo which DS loves so I do pop him in that and take him for a walk in the evening when he is unsettled. As long as I don't stop moving he sleeps in it. I do have an existing anxiety disorder which makes it hard because I don't know if its just bad anxiety or if something else is going on. My moods are very up and down at the moment. The plan at the moment is to wait and see if I settle down and ill continue seeing my psychologist in the meantime.