I am in the same boat as I have no family where we live now, and DP works away so I am by myself with DD for at least three quarters of the week. I invited my mum to come for a couple of weeks to help out and to look after DD when bubs is born. It must have been the pregnancy hormones speaking because she stayed for a week after DD and I was ready to kill myself or her by the end of it. But I do need the help and I know that she will do the housework cleaning etc while she is here (a bit to much of the cleaning and be vocal about it while she does it, but at least she does it), so I know she will help and so she stays at the house with us. And then about a month ago my FIL and his wife invite themselves up around the time of my EDD because they will be travelling around this time anyway. So peeved, and they can stay in thier stupid camper as I actually invited my mum first. And then as a stupid knee jerk reaction I invited my parents for christmas. How to stress myself out.
Anyway, sorry for my rant. If you have one person stay with you, make it the person who will be the most help and will actually do stuff for you. Anybody else can stay somewhere else. You do not run a hotel, and if they want to see bub they will do it. Good luck with the decision making and don't worry about pleasing everyone cause you can't, this time is about your new family.
Wow, thanks everyone for your replies. I guess I was just a little worried that it would look rude in my behalf. But I think now, knowing what you Ladies have gone through, I will tell them it is for "their" benefit that they come later. We had our scan yesterday and all was well (although they did say it was measuring 1 week behind, but I know my AF date, and am pretty certain on my O date, as I always have regular cycles). So naturally they all asked if we had a clearer due date. I told them end of Feb, and that they had gotten a different date to me. I will wait a little bit (maybe after the 12 week mark somewhere) and mention it again, and let them know I what I would like, it is our Baby after all!
Thank you all for you advice, I figured those that have had Babies would be able to speak from experience, and tell me what they would have changed.
Congrats on your pregnancy. I totally agree with everyone else - tell them a much later date if you think they might just show up.
And I'd discourage houseguests early on (unless it's someone you're happy to have around and who is going to help out) - maybe suggest if people want to stay then they'll have to wait till 2-3 months to visit, when things are a bit more settled. Remind them of the crying baby through the night too.
All the best~~
Bambino, I never told my mother my due date with any of mine just to stop her from worrying more than anything, plus she didn't have that anxious wait at the end with me and she always loved the surprise phone call telling her that the baby had been born. She never took it the wrong way because I was upfront with her, so I hope that your family is the same when you tell them
I am in a similar boat. Can't tell them the wrong due date. (because, seriously, MIL has every appointment, scan and how many weeks I am on her calendar and she would figure it out) MIL is wanting to allow 10 days to go over, then a "couple of days" to come home, and then they'll come. I have said no.
I have asked them to visit in January, when DH's work schedule is completely manic and I will definitely need the help. But this isn't soon enough for their liking, apparently.
I'm so glad that other people's experiences validate this decision.
Hi Babybino - Can you just be honest with them and tell them that you will let them know when you want them to come or will they just come anyway? Lots of visitors at once can be really overwhelming and then to drop to none can make it really lonely. Could you think about who you would like to visit when and ask them to organise their visits sometime within the 2 or 3 months after the baby comes but not all at once. I realise a new baby is very exciting to them and you will no doubt be excited to introduce your new baby to your family, but you may appreciate having visitors more if they don't come all at once. I think having them stay in seperate accomodation is a brilliant idea as you will need your space.
I had my PIL's stay for a month following the birth of DS2, and apart from Christmas day it was awful. I felt under pressure to keep a clean and tidy house, cook all meals, etc. I also could not allow myself to slob around in my pj's all day because I was worried they would think I was a slob. Of course they made no expectations of me but I was not relaxed enough around them to allow them to help and as a result my babymoon was disrupted and I did not enjoy that time.
If I could do my time again I would ask them not to visit for a month or so after the birth, unless they were willing to stay in a hotel and just visit for an hour or so every couple of days.
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