I'm just wondering how others approach skin-to-skin with toddlers.
I was talking to a friend this week, asking her if she and her DP are nude around the kids and if they have skin-to-skin still with their boy (the eldest, will be 3 in a month or two) and she said she still had naked cuddles with him all the time and so does her DP.
DP and I are relatively similar. I sleep naked or nearly naked and DP just wears boxers to bed so DD usually gets in with 2 nearly nude people in the mornings (we like a little snuggle before we get up), and we often shower or bath together (only occasionally all 3 of us because the bath isn't that big!). I have done baby-massage since DD was born and i still now pull her top up and stroke her back to calm her down if she's stressed. If she feels out of sorts she'll come ad say "tickle my back mama" herself. I don't remember my parents being this way with me, but then it could be that it stopped before i had a memory of it, because even though i have memories of being under 2, i don't remember EVERYTHING that happened/was normal before then. I can remember cuddlin up with my sister in bed wheni was 5 or 6 (we shared a bed) and that was lovely.
So what do others do?
ATM DD keeps taking her trousers and pants off (usually to use the potty but she just likes being naked too!) and we are a family of bum-smackers (everyone smacks everyone else!). She lay on my lap this morning (we're up early letting DP have a lie-in) and said "do me bum-rubs mumma" and as i was doing so i thought i just can't imagine not having this physical closeness with her. Does it naturally end? I was gutted when i weaned DD because apart from having really wanted to BF, i missed the 4-hourly skin-to-skin with her so so much. I don't know how i'd cope if she rejected our cosy cuddles and bum rubs and massage-time. I know when she's 13 she won't want me this close to her, but i DO remember still getting into bed with my mum for a cuddle when i was 15 and my boyfriend had dumped me.
How much skin-to-skin/close cuddle do we all have with our toddlers and bigger kids? How long does it last (one for the more experienced mums )? How do you cope when it ends?
Hi Hoobley, we're bum smackers too!!! I just got DH a good one before!!
DH sleeps naked and I sleep in a singlet and undies. Both the kids come in for snuggles too in the morning so see nakedness. DD (7) still gets around the house with just her undies but likes to cover up her girlie bits, and we have also told her she needs to get dried ind dressed in her room now after a shower.
DS (3) just loves to do nudie runs around the house. What more can I say.
Now that DD is getting older, DH covers his bits up now when he gets out of the shower or out of bed only cause she is getting that bit older and she just laughs if she sees my boobs!!
I think nudity anskin to skin contact just run their course. As long as everyone is comfortable then I dont see a problem
An interesting question Ill pop back and see what others say. We also sleep in the nude and when DD who is 2 climbs into bed in the morning for cuddles we dont jump up and get pjs on lol. When DF gets up he puts boxers on but I often get her breakfast and put the wiggles on before I have a shower so she 'see's' more of me naked than DF. She is one who loves to do a nudie run after the shower.
I never thought of it as 'baby massage' as such but I often rub her bare back, shoulders and tummy and how can you not smack and tickle those gorgoues little butts. I think it will be sad if her relaxed attitude to nudity changes.
I remember seeing my parents naked occasionally especially with 6 people and 1 bathroom, mum or my sister would be in the shower and I would do my teeth or vice versa so it wasn't a huge issue. I think I was about 10-11 when I saw my fathers bare butt last (well apart from the plumbers crack which is often on display lol) Even now if Im getting changed mum or my sister will just follow me and chat to me while I do it. Mum still rubs my back every now and then if I can con her to he he.
'
I think its sad that physical touch isn't encouraged more because it can make a huge impact. As a nurse I can see the difference holding someone or touching them as a human not a patient can make. And as a human being often if I am sad or depressed I want to be touched, held etc.
Sorry for the ramble I just think touch is really important and not done often enough
I personally don't feel comfortable nude, skin to skin with DD2, but we often all have showers together to save on water, or time, what ever the case.
DD1 being 6 turning 7 isn't in with me very often & not with DH all that often, but still see's us getting dressed, going to the loo etc.
A friend of mine was over & I had the girls in the shower. She needed to go to the loo, so I put a towel between the shower & loo & told her to go.
The girls weren't fazed. Jaz just asked her to open the shampoo for her, lol. Same as she would if one of us was standing at the mirror.
DH, DS & I have a shower just the 3 of us every Wednesday & Friday when both the girls are at school. DS is still pretty young though.
Its kind of the way our parents were, so kind of the way we are. I want the girls to be comfortable in their own skin, but Jaz getting nekkid to play on the swings in the back yard at 6 was pushing it, so I'm trying to get them to understand that its not always ok.
My DD is only 14months so I can only offer what my upbringing was like but I was thinking about this only a few hours ago when playing with C after her bath. I tickle her bum cheeks near where her girlie bits are when she is lying waiting for her nappy, and she always laughs. I thought " I wonder how long I will get away with this?" And who really can resist the bum patting of those gorgeous cheeks on a child?
I remember being told at around 7 or 8yrs that I wasnt allowed to go around all day in just my undies when it was hot, especially outside in the yard. I still went into my brothers bed for plays in the mornings although we always wore pjs.
I think I was around 10when I first thought it embarrassing to do the nudie run from the bathroom to bedroom and only because the visitors were unexpectedly in the passage. It was around then that I wore my robe to and fro. Mum and dad occassionally did the run still but less and less.
I must have been 11 when I was told not to do the repeated long handstands on the back lawn, wearing a dress, with the neighbours house overlooking our yard.
We have no problem with nudity and cuddles. DD1(3 1/2) still shares showers with either DH or myself and I have no intention of ending that soon. When I was little, my parents did the same. We used to joke about the production line, there were 4 of us kids and mum would hand us in to dad one at a time for a wash. After DD1 has her bath or shower, she has a nudy run to her room and I chase her. It always ends in cuddles and giggles.
I also think that I setting an example for my girls, in that I'm confident in my body even though it doesn't look quite the way it used to. Something I believe is important for young girls.
well i walk around naked, shower with the boys, constantly have my boobs hanging out haha they don't have a constant male around to see nude and I am pretty sure that their dad doesn't walk around nude, he was brought up very prudish.
I remember seeing my mum naked even when I was almost in my teens.
last week DH was having showers with DD1 and wasn't worried about it... but for the last 3 days, DD1 (who is nearly 5) will not let DH see her naked or want to be in the same room as him if he is in undies. She said to DH tonight when he went to use the toilet with the door open "Daddy!!! I don't want to see you naked anymore!" he said "than don't look" and we all laughed....
We want to be close to her and not worry, but at the same time I know its part of development for them to resist it. We've sort of planned to just keep living the way we live. If one of the girls feels uncomfortable we may call out so they know and can avoid it if they want too, but other than that, we are going to try to continue living the way we want with them.
Nudity/skin-to-skin with toddlers?
)? How do you cope when it ends?
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks