I could have written your post, and i think I did when dd was that age. Only you are the mum to your ds. Only you know what feels right to your heart and what makes your ds happy.

I'm a feed to sleep kind of mum. I wasn't always this way, but in the end I just chose what my babies wanted and what was easiest for me. Ds sleeps great being fed to sleep. What does that even mean? It means I am coping well and he's happy and getting enough sleep. If you scratch the surface I could tell you he only really cat naps in the day (2 one hour sleeps) and that this evening he has woken twice already (and would feed prob three times before morning).

You said you want more routine to your day....that will most likely come as your bub gets older. Once they have solids and you can plan to feed them at a certain time, you can also massage their sleep times a bit more. Ds always has dinner bath and goes to bed at the same time...the days are more flexible because I also have a toddler.

You are doing an awesome job. If I could talk to myself two years ago with dd I would tell myself to burn the books and stop looking at the clock. I would tell myself to take the baby to bed with me every morning and sleep when she did. I would not think about night feeds and just cosleep every night. I do all that now but it's a journey I had to travel on.

It's a massive learning curve and you're doing really well. Relaxing about sleep will come when you feel confident in yourself. Maybe try not to talk about it with others...sleep is not a metric of parenting.

P.s. I taught my dd to self settle, but she still woke for night feeds until eighteen months when I night weaned her, and then I had to give her bananas because she was hungry! Ds has self settled since birth, but still cat naps and wakes frequenly just for reassurance. There ARE no bad habits. I know kids who were left to cry who woke every night and cried out until they were toddlers and learnt to climb out of the cot...and get into bed with their parents. I would rather reassure my child and feel good in my heart.

You won't remember how many naps ds has at any point in time, but you WILL remember how you felt about him and his sleep. Please don't chase sleep.