I had (have?) a bad sleeper too and also became completely obsessed. My big issue was making her sleep to a routine and in her cot at all times.

I now have a child who sleeps through every night BUT despises her cot and hates going to bed

I think you have to do what you need to do to get sleep and then deal with the consequences later! They are constantly changing their habits, you can never get one step ahead!

I can absolutely assure you that you are not the only one! I am promising myself I will do things differently with this baby but bets are on, I will still obsess!!!