Positive things about bringing a new baby home to your toddler!

[Janie]

Oh yeah, we got told by everyone that DS1 would be soooo jealous, he wouldn't know what had hit him, he was going to hate it blah blah blah. Some really awful stuff actually. Well, almost 11 months on, we have NEVER had an issue! I'm surprised at how smoothly it went, given the dramas we had with my pg and with DS2 being in hospital for a month after his birth, DS1 really got neglected by his mummy . But he is an awesome, loving big brother, and my boys have a wonderful time playing together. I'm sure they'll belt each other someday, but for now it's all good

The best thing is seeing the big one cuddle the newborn DS1 really loved being involved with bathing DS2. Even changing his nappy, dressing him etc. He loves to show him toys, or read books all together. Something that makes life easier for you, is that once the little one is old enough (which comes around faster than you think!) they are so happy to play on the floor, if their older sibling is there too! DS2 is so happy to roam around the lounge room without me, because his brother is there. It's awesome! LOL

We did all the present giving etc too, I think it really helps. Good luck, and enjoy

[PollyA]

I have absolutely LOVED sharingthe experience of meeting our new baby with our daughter. It is so different to when it was just her.
From day one I thought it was magic. She was gentle, her eyes were wide with wonder. She thought this new baby was the best thing ever.
And as he's grown she has been his favuorite thing in the world. He just watches her, all the time, and laughs when she bangs him over the head (which makes discipline very difficult)
We were pretty open minded about the effect it might have on her, bad behaviour, regression etc. but none of those things were true. It took us a bit longer to be ready for things like getting rid of her dummies and night toilet training (we're still not there) because we needed to wait for a time that we were ready to put up with less sleep, more laundry etc, but she's been pretty cruisey.
Some things are a bit harder to come by...sleep, quiet time, but some things are much more abundant...precious moments, love.
Good luck
x

[*TripleJ*]

DS is a little younger but hes mostly good for her hes the same degree of naughtyness that he was before she came he just likes to take advantage of feeding time but he loves to hug her and kiss her he is a bit rough sometimes but i dont see that happening with ur DD DS is just plainrough all the time lol

[Kazbah]

Today, with DS2 @ 4 weeks old, DS1 introduced him to all his new friends at the park. And he told them & I that DS2 is his "best friend".
The way he runs to tell me whenever the baby is crying.
The way that when he met him for the first time, he brought one of his Chuggington trains to show his new baby.
The way it's "his" baby.
The way he tries to put the dummy in his little brother's mouth. Or rock his rocker. Or play the music. Or sing and dance for him.

Or the way he showers his brother in kisses & cuddles - DH & I feel quite left out!!!!!

[~Kaz~]

Thank you for starting this thread Heaven. I am getting those comments now about DS and I am not even UTD yet It's great to read about the other positive side.

It is really negative to pre-empt problems and I think there can be an element of self fullfilling prophecy to it all. Like if the parents are set up to believe there will be major dramas with their first born they might somehow pass on that negativity or tension or nervousness to the child about the baby and then there are issues after all!

From what I know of your DD, she is pretty switched on and I can really see her loving being a big sister and helping with the baby.

[UsPlus2]

Great thread Heaven, we're due to meet our little girl at time really and I'm so over people being negative about her impending arrival. What happened to the joy a baby brings?

Thanks also to those that shared their stories, made my night thinking about what a fantastic time my DS is going to have being a big brother.

[PollyA]

Today, with DS2 @ 4 weeks old, DS1 introduced him to all his new friends at the park. And he told them & I that DS2 is his "best friend".
The way he runs to tell me whenever the baby is crying.
The way that when he met him for the first time, he brought one of his Chuggington trains to show his new baby.
The way it's "his" baby.
The way he tries to put the dummy in his little brother's mouth. Or rock his rocker. Or play the music. Or sing and dance for him.

Or the way he showers his brother in kisses & cuddles - DH & I feel quite left out!!!!!

Kaz, you made me cry happy tears.
I remembered something too,
DS was 2 weeks, I had awful mastitis and we had a massive storm and lost power for a day. DH went to pick up DD from playschool and I was laying on the bed (where I was stuck with fever and drowsiness) and i was so worried about them. When they got back safe and sound I met them at the front door for a cuddle. DD looked around perplexed and said "Where's DS? After only 2 weeks a family cuddle wasn't complete without her brother. It made me feel happy amidst the horribleness of mastitis in a storm. She also looked at the family photo on the wall taken when DS was just a thought and asked why he wasn't in it, So sweet

10 months on and she has no memory of any different than having a brother.
I showed her photos of her when she was one, in a ballerina outfit, tonight and she said "look, DS is a ballerina" cute

[Shanti]

Aww, what beautiful posts! Great thread heaven. Although I haven't had any negative comments like that said to me, like most people, I'm a bit nervous about how My first born will cope but after reading this thread I'm sure she'll be just fine
I'm even more excited now!!

We are planning on doing presents between DD and bub too, and I like someones idea of at the hospital making sure you greet them down the hall and then walk together TO the baby to meet it rather than DD seeing me with the bub in bed.

[Nai]

My DD1 was just rapt to get her little sister and she actually progressed rather than went backwards. She was a great helper when I brought DD2 home, she TT at night almost immediately and she became a "big girl". She has been so gently, caring and loving with her sister - I think her sense of responsibility has really grown.

DD2 on the other hand can be a real menace and wrecks all of DD1's things - DD1 takes it in her stride though

[berrme]

DS was 2 weeks, I had awful mastitis and we had a massive storm and lost power for a day. DH went to pick up DD from playschool and I was laying on the bed (where I was stuck with fever and drowsiness) and i was so worried about them. When they got back safe and sound I met them at the front door for a cuddle. DD looked around perplexed and said "Where's DS? After only 2 weeks a family cuddle wasn't complete without her brother.

I can relate to this. Every morning DS1's first question is "where is Edward?". Sometimes I get jealous, lol.

When we brought DS2 home everything was great. DS1 didn't regress. He didn't hate his brother for stealing mummy away. He just stared and smiled at him a lot.
Our biggest issue at the start was just rough love... cuddling too hard and nearly strangling him or trying to pick DS2 up to hold him properly. Now they fight, but they still love each other dearly. They seem so much happier when the other is around, even if they are wrestling half the time.

Don't listen to all the nay sayers. DD might get jealous, but she will most likely be wonderful and excited and loving.

[beansbeans!]

Just wanted to add that I have a friend who was just under 2 when her brother was born. the day that he was born she decided that she was a big kid and that big kids didnt wear nappies. She was with her nanna, who wasnt prepared, it meant an emergency shop for undies and the like. So she self TT'd on the day her bother was born. Her lucky mum came home to a daughter who was no longer in nappies!! And her stay wasnt that long!

[Indadhanu]

I'm subscribing too. This makes me so nervous!

[Marnikat]

The look Tiana had the very first time she saw Phoebe was amazing! She was completely silent and stared at her in total love. From then on Phoebe has been 'her' baby. She always goes to her first when I pick her up from kindy or if she has been out of the house.

She makes sure she has toys and her dummy and even remembers to keep all her babrie toys in her room cause she knows they would be bad for her.

The most priceless thing I remember though was going past Phoebe's room to Tiana talking to her while she was in her cot. I was ready to get cranky for Tiana waking her when she said 'I missed her mummy and just wanted to talk to her'. Although we discussed not to wake babies I just couldn't get mad.

Having two children is more fantastic than just one cause I get to watch them love each other as well!

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Oh hun some people are so cruel, SIL said stupid things like "i hope this one is a PITA so you see what it's REALLY like" and "DD1 isn't going to know what hit her, it wont be all about her"

FWIW DD1 was 15mths when DD2 came along and the first time they met in hospital was THE MOST GORGEOUS moment of my life, there was no jealousy, no pushing, just 1 sister in total awe of this tiny baby in mummy's arms.

To this day i have been lucky DD1 rarely gets jealous, she LOVES helping with her little sister, she enjoys feeding her, helping change her nappy, loves having a bath with her and always gives her little sister toys.
She pushes her on the swings and even takes our new kitten to her for a pat.

When she was little DD1 loved watching me feed DD2, she would come up and pat her when she cried and push her in the baby swing. She would often lay on the floor beside her and just stare.
We bought a little present from DD1 to DD2 to give when she was born, we also got a tiny gift from DD2 to her big sister

Make sure someone has a camera the first moment they meet, the awe in their faces is gorgeous and perfect to frame and send to the PITA's people who commented horribly

[DiannaQ]

I haven't read the entire thread but have to say bringing home a sibling for DS was by far the best gift I could have given him - there was no angst, no jealousy and no resentment - these 2 kids have just got along from day dot.

don't listen to negativity - just think about how much fun it's going to be with another baby to love and share

[Daydream Believer]

DD is 5 days short of 2 years older than DS. She was & still is like a little mummy. She wasn't jealous at all. We got her a baby doll with accessories as well so she could play mum when we were busy with DS.

[Kazbah]

We also got DS1 a present from the baby - it was waiting for him in the baby's cot, and DH got it out and said look what the baby got you. Then DH took DS1 to buy a toy for DS2 as "he doesn't have any toys" and not only did DS1 choose a toy, but also gave his "baby toys" to DS2.

[minimatron]

I havent read all the pp but I wanted to say yes it can be hard but its not all bad, its beautiful most of the time. The excitement on their faces when they first meet their new sibling, the great joy they get from cuddles... even now dd3 is 3 months old both dd1 and 2 are so happy to have cuddles and help feed and change their sister... its so special to watch. At the beginning when we were sleep deprived and grumpy they solidiered on they did much better than us. It was really me who regressed....
We also did gifts... dds1 and 2 got dd3 a dolly and dd3 got them gift bags each to play with at the hospital and take home to nannas house while they stayed there for a few nights. They loved it and still talk about it.

All the best x o