Willow - I so hear you. My DS is now 7 months. He was a fantastic sleeper until about 5 months and then it went down down down. I didnt want to use controlled methods and was just searching and searching for some help.
I can honestly say that the best thing for me was to realise that I was putting too much pressure on myself and feeling like his sleeping was a reflection of my parenting. But it isn't. Babies are biologically supposed to sleep lighter than adults. Some babies sleep better than others. Some babies that are great sleepers turn into terrible sleepers and vice versa. But they all get better in the end. Sure, there are things you can do to promote sleep but you can't force sleep.
It was a huge relief for me to realise that it isn;t my fault that DS wakes up several times overnight and now I am a lot more relaxed and happier because I feel like I can ride out the worst of it.
And I have to say I have noticed that the days when we are relaxed and happy and have a giggle while we are going to sleep are the easiest ones to get him to sleep in.

So....big hugs. I totally understand how you feel. It does get better.