Remind me that this gets easier...

[Tracey]

Willow wherever he will settle is perfectly fine!
I was told by my midwife (when I went to her with Zyon due to SR) & was told he had behaviour issues (he was 3ish wks at the time) she tod me babies brains dont fully switch on til around 6mths so anything classed as a 'so called habit' between now & 6mths can be amended... But I found by about 4-6wks (had it not been for undiagnosed SR) you start to get into your won pattern (routine is too strict a word LOL)

[Willow]

Tracey, I just spoke to a midwife who told me the same thing. She said in these early weeks however I get him to sleep is just fine as long as he is sleeping! He's been asleep in his pram for about an hour now!

I just need to try to relax, stop putting so much pressure on myself and stop worrying that we're going to form bad habits. But when he's not settling and I'm in that moment it's hard to remember all of that.

If I need to cuddle him to sleep, then that's what I'll do and i'll enjoy it!

[MantaRay]

Willow, I worried about the same thing, but I did what I had to do and got Thomas to sleep anywhere and anyhow I could. Once he settled down he became a brilliant sleeper and he still is. So in our case at least, no bad habits were formed at all and no harm done.

I'm so glad to hear to sounding better hun.

[Bathsheba]

Back in 1995 with my first baby I wasn't as experienced and followed other people's/books advice a lot more (denying my intuition) and therefore used controlled crying alot.... I subscribed to the "bad habit" theory too. My first baby was the worst sleeper of all my children.. but maybe that was her personality My second baby I did similar things but no controlled crying and I co-slept more. He has been my best sleeper. Despite all the warnings about bad habits he is definitely my most independent sleeper and he DEMANDS to go to bed immediately after dinner each night... infact that is our biggest sleep issue with him: some nights he demands to go to bed before dinner then wakes up hungry. My third baby I am way more relaxed about... i break all the "rules" under the sun... co-sleep (after about 3/4am) BF to sleep, rock to sleep, the works. And you know what, i think he'll be fine. Once you establish trust that you will be there when they are tiny then they will grow up to be more secure and therefore more independent. Why would they grow up to be more insecure (the premise of "bad habits"). Anyhow a lot of this is in the book The Science of Parenting... a great read if you ever find time!

[Tracey]

Willow I ma glad... Just go stand in the front/back yard & shake all the tension loose!!!

Not only that I figured if I got some MUCH needed rest & peace, but formed a 'bad' habit, he'd be older & I'd then worry about it!!!

He sleeps fine now!!!

So give Logan a hug & soak up his newborness, coz my man's almost 4mths old & he is growing too fast!!!!

[Willow]

Today has been a good day girls!!

He has fed beautifully and has had 4 sleeps, 1x 1.5 hours, 2x 1 hour and is still asleep now after putting him down at 3pm!!

Feeling pretty good tonight and much more relaxed. I haven't cried all day!!

[MantaRay]

Well done Willow!! And Logan!!

[ElleJay]

That's great to hear Willow I've been following everything and hoping things do get better for you Logan will be a darling I just know it

[Bathsheba]

that's great to hear Willow! babies tend to mirror our moods too so if you are calmer then they often are too

[paradise lost]

Well done WIllow! It sounds like you're getting on top of it all already!

I just wanted to add, re: Tresillian/AC methods - there are not fixed rules about your parenting style, you can mix and match. I carried DD a lot but i've also been known to leave her while i could stand it to cry (i could only stand it for about 40 seconds though) if i needed to. I think whether bubs becomes a good sleeper is very individual and not that much to do with the sleep "training". I know as many co-sleeping 2 year olds who wake every 2 hours as i do CC-trained bubs who do the same. You need to do what is right for YOUR sanity. If you can't stand to hear him cry, don't do it. If you HAVE to have a shower for 5 minutes and he's grizzly, do it, he's safe in his cot and will be ok for 5.

So don't be afraid of "making a rod for your back" as you can always just keep the bits of ANY parenting style that make sense to you and discard the bits you feel aren't useful, and forge your own unique approach. Best of luck and i hope thigns continue to get easier.

Bx

[maz]

O Honey that is fab news!!!!!!! I am so happy for you!
And to all the girls in here that gave advice..thank you cause ive been taking notes for when I have this bub that I no doubt will go back to. Your all wonderful, strong women! I take my hat of to you all for being so open to share your experiences and knowledge with us all.
MAUW

[nickers]

great to hear willow, i hope you had a good night, i like what hoobley said about mixin and matching what parenting syle works for you and bub, not one particular thing will work for everyone.
i'll let you kow of upcoming playgroups anyway so when you and Logan are settled and ready u can come chat to us mums who are all feeling or have been feeling the way you have been too.

[Willow]

Not such a good day yesterday unfortunately. He was unsettled pretty much all day, had a few short sleeps and then I took him to bed with me in the afternoon and we both had a good sleep. He then slept from about 5pm till 8pm and we had a great night last night. Has been napping in his rocker this morning, anything to get him to sleep at the moment.

At least the weather has improved today and DH is home so we're going to head out and do the groceries, anything to get out for a little while.

[MantaRay]

There'll be good days and bad days Willow, I still have bad days and Tom is 13 months now! But overall it sounds like it is already improving for you which is fantastic news. A bit more sleep and you'll be on top of the world again!

[*Efjay*]

ONe of the things I thought I would mention is to become familar with the tired signs. It sound slike you are having some good days & its normal to have some bad ones. I use to mistaken Evas tired signs for him being board. Once I was shown what to look for,s ettling him became so much easier but he was a cat napper also so I would get him down & have a max of 40 minutes to have a shower etc.

One thing to remember about settling them though, is once they are crying its too late. You need to get there & settle them before they get to that point. So watch for the grizzles, the clentched fists waving around, rubbing his face etc. As soon as you see anything you think is a sign that he is ready for a sleep, pounce on him. Also, are you wrapping him? If not, you may like to try that. I think it helps alot. Some babies fight it at first so the parent may think they don't like it so give it up. But if you persist with it you will get them settled & sleeping much better I think.
Good Luck & I hope things are improving for you.

[Willow]

Thanks FJ, yep, things have slowly been improving over the last few days, I hope they continue that way!!

I do watch for his tired signs and he is most definitely wrapped! I don't think he particularly likes being wrapped but I know it's better for him so I'm not going to give in. It's hard when he's all hot and grunting and trying to get his hands free though! I know he'll get used to it.

His tired signs are a bit hard to pinpoint just yet but I think I'm getting better at picking them.

I've also noticed that the more relaxed I've become, the better he's been (touch wood!!)

[LisaL]

Hi Willow sweets,
So glad that things are improving with Logan! Alex is a good sleeper but I did find she was quite unsettled for the first few weeks and she was arching her back alot, she had some tummy trouble and some wind. I took her to the chiropracter and turns out she was a little out due to the long and difficult labour (she was stcuk in an odd possie for some time) so after a few visits she really settled and started sleeping right through from about 7 weeks.

But I do also find she is more irratible if its hot, so I leave her in a nappy and singlet and wrap her in a muslin wrap and that seems to help her get to sleep.

Your a wonderful mummy and im sure your two gorgeous children just adore you and know how wonderful you are even if they cant express to you with words just yet!

Take care,
Lisa

[Willow]

Hey Lisa!

Funnily enough, we started taking DS to a chiropractor last week. He's only had two sessions so far.

I don't know if it is this or the fact that yesterday we moved him to his cot and darkened his room for day sleeps but after a few really awful days of him not sleeping much at all (and me just about reaching breaking point), he has been almost perfect today. Settling himself to sleep and having sleeps of about 2.5/3 hours (he is fed 3 hourly most of the time)!!!

PLEASE, please please I hope it lasts!