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Thread: seperation anxiety

  1. #1

    Default seperation anxiety

    Yasin has really bad seperation anxiety about DH. He doesn't seem to worry so much about me but when DH is around he will get upset if he goes into another room. Every time DH has to leave for work Yasin gets quite hysterical if he notices and will start getting extra clingy as soon as he notices him getting his keys, phone etc. We're not quite sure how to handle it - is it better for DH to give Yasin a kiss and a hug goodbye, tell him he will be back in the evening or a few days or whenever and then go despite the hysterics or the other method where I take him to the garden and play while DH sneaks out. The second method avoids the tears but I feel that its kind of sneaky and I worry that its making his anxiety worse because he turns around and DH has vanished and I also worry that he will trust me less because when I take him for a play his daddy vanishes.
    I geuss that maybe what makes it worse is that DH might be gone for an hour, a day or a week so the fact that Yasin can't predict how long it will be is unsettling for him.
    Does anyone have any ideas because its tough on all of us to have to cope.


  2. #2
    Janie Guest

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    I saw this on an episode of a UK show on Foxtel (am I allowed to say the name?). Here is what was suggested.

    If DH is just going to another room for a little while, get Yasin to hold onto DH's mobile for example. "Yasin, you can hold onto Daddy's mobile and while I just go to the toilet". Pick something that Yasin knows DH would never leave without.

    If DH is leaving for a longer period and not just to another room, they suggested preparing the baby ie "Yasin, Daddy is going in one hour, how about we play a special game."

    He is probably too young but maybe a calender or clock might help. Like DH showing Yasin what time he will be home and making a game out of it.

    Not sure what else to suggest but perhaps they might work.

  3. #3
    Colleen Guest

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    Oh dach, sooo know what your on about here, Jaykobs doing this at the moment too!

    Hes so clingy, very interested in hearing the replies...

  4. #4

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    Dach,
    I believe it is best for Dh to say goodbye & explain that he is off to work & will return (if it's that night at 7pm for instance) say Daddy will be home after dinner, but before your bath (if that fits in with the routine, or whatever your routine is).

    If DH will be home at 3pm then find something that you might do around that time each day so you can explain Daddy will be home at reading time, or after the reading time or whatever is happening in your home at 3... (Does that make sense?)


    If it's over night or something I think you'll need to maybe mark it on the calendar with a star or sticker & let Yasin cross off the daya & explain Daddy will be home on the star day after your bath or whatever time it fit's in with...
    Hopefully it will make it easier... best of luck..

    Colleen, as bad as it might sound, kids forget about someone that's not around much fairly quickly... I suggest lot's of extra hugs for Jaykob, as this time is difficult for you both I am certain... hugs!!!

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