I've tried to make this as short as possible with all the details.
Oskar has been going to swimming lessons, however this term they changed the time and it's just too early in the morning for him. It was 9:40am and now is 9:10am.... not a problem?? Well, he doesn't usually wake up until between 8-8:30am sometimes even a bit later. So, the old time was a push anyway.
I went and found another swim school (the only reason being the time prob with the old one - they were good in every other way) and took him there yesterday to enrol etc. The pool there is in like a big enclosed tent - those clear plastic like cafe blind things, but with a roof. It was REALLY stuffy and warm and he started to breath fast then cried his little heart out, like a perplexed afraid cry. It took him a little bit to calm down. I did the paperwork then said to the lady that I'd take him back in there to see how he went and before he even got to the door of the waiting room (which is a NORMAL door and room) he started to get visibly upset and had a perplexed look on his face. None of this behaviour is normal for him at all. She kept asking me, is he usually like this in new places/around new people... and I'm like NO NO NO!! He's such an easy going little man and the cry was a piercing one like afraid in the middle of the night cry.
I'm really now not sure what to do, do I take him on Saturday and see how he reacts or do I call them and tell them that we don't need to enrol him there anymore??? I don't want him to become afraid Something just doesn't feel right, but I'm not sure if it's me worried that he's going to get really upset again or if it's a gut feeling. What would you do?? What would you say if you decided not to go there?? I've already paid for one month as they have a policy of one month in advance. Please give me some advice or opinions. Thanks for reading.
If it were me, I wouldn't take him there. You don't want to create a fear that he'll associate with swimming, which may lead to a fear of water, IYKWIM? And, if he's terrified, he's not going to enjoy it anyway.
Maybe ask if you can postpone his lessons for a month or two and try taking him back when he's a little older?
this is strange isnt it! I would take him back when he is due to go sat?, and see how he is. mayb try talking to him about the swimming and all that ( im sure you have done this). See how he goes on the next visit and decide from there. hope its ok
I just spoke to DH about this AGAIN...lol... I just can't get this off my mind. He's leaning towards taking him but if he reacts then we go, no getting in the water or anything. With his very first lesson where he was going, he cried, but only after getting in the water. The next week they said to bring him early so he could get in and have a play to get comfy being in the pool and this worked brilliantly and the next week he was jumping to get in for his lesson. I asked if we could do this and she said no and also didn't answer when I asked if we didn't continue lessons there cos he was still afraid if we could get money back, she just avoided it with saying oh I've never met a child who didn't get over it.... you just need to give them a good few lessons. That didn't sit the best with me and on the way home I was almost in tears. I think for a mixture of reasons, being that I kinda didn't like that they seem to be so "this is how we do it and it's the same rules for everyone" (which is what they do say - if we let one then everyone else wants to... ummm riiiight) and also I thought OMG have I just lost $70!!! There's an enrolment fee plus lessons. *sighs* have I made a mistake???
Celsie, exactly!! I don't want him to be afraid. We live in QLD and we're surrounded by water. He needs to know how to swim or at least get himself out of trouble.
Krissy, it was REALLY strange, he just kinda started to breath a little faster then cried.
mrsmac, that is true... this is why I think I've been struggling a bit with this decision... babies and animals have amazing instincts so I haven't been sure if it was him being scared or if he's warning me IYKWIM.
Hon, imagine that place in summer - if its hot and stuffy in the middle of winter, imagine what it will be like mid February...nah, its your lil mans and yours recreation time, you want to enjoy it. Why put him thru that......
I would give consumer affairs a call. Explain that you can't take you son, because he's terrified of the "tent" like structure they have covering the pool, yet you can't afford to lose $70. I'm willing to bet that they'll say you're within your rights to ask for a refund, considering he's never even got so much as a toe wet.
Cass, I'd trust your instincts on this one.........by all means take him to swimming lessons, but GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. Oscar is obviously unhappy in that place, and it doesn't sound like you were too pleased either. It's just too important IMO. It must be hard for you, but I really think he's trying to tell you something.
As a rule i never ignore an instinct, no matter what the cost. Call the people Celsie mentioned (it's a different agency in the UK) and see about getting a refund.
to you all and thank you all so much for your input. It really can help to make things clearer in your own head.
mbear, they apparently roll the sides of the tent up in summer, but all the same it was terribly stuffy in there.
Celsie, great idea!! Thanks for that hun, I will look into that Monday and yes, I will let you know.
Janie and hoobs, true, true, true!! You would think that the older we get the better we would get and trusting our little niggles!
Lulu, it was very thick and stuffy air which may have been the reason he did that short breathing before crying. I can't ask him unfortunately!!
I've been thinking on and off about this today and I kept debating about calling or not calling them and didn't call, but I can do that tomorrow or we can go there and I'm almost certain that I won't even need to take him near the pool before he'll react and that will be enough for me to go shopping instead! Seriously though, I kinda have a feeling that I won't take him cos I just feel like that now. DH does have a say, but if I really feel this way he won't do it either. He may want to go and just see the place though and that's ok with me cos he won't force anything.
Is there any other time slots available at the place where you used to take your little one to swimming lessons? If he was hapy there and you liked it then it seems a shame you have to change just cos they moved his lesson earlier. Maybe if you ring them and explain about the earlier time just not being practical and you need to leave and find another swim school they may be able to offer an alternative. I would find it hard to believe that anyone would let customers go in these times.
I wouldn't take him to the tent place though, it sounds alwful to me and your little boy is trying to tell you something. Also is he old enough to ask him which he prefers? I did this with my daughter when i swapped her ballet school after a bad experience, she was only 2 and i didn't think she'd understand but she did!!!!
Kiki... I have spoken to his old swim school and they used to have 2 lessons on a Sat morn but have cut it back to 1 (they cut the later one being Oskar's) for this term cos too many people just weren't coming due to it being cold weather. I totally understand why they've done it, just doesn't work for us unfortunately and it works for most of the others as their bubs wake early - 6am etc. Apparently next term they will probably have 3 classes so I have actually already asked her to put him down for next term with them. I didn't want him missing a whole term cos they have to then relearn a bit.
I haven't asked him, didn't think of that as he's only 16 months old, however he might surprise me as he does let you know when he wants something. He is quite a strong willed little man...lol. You could be very right in him trying to tell me something, it was a strong reaction from him and not the usual "that's not what I want to do" type.
sorry to hear that he is so upset about it. If it were me i wouldn't take him, I'd either find a new place or not go, leave it a few months and try again. GL
Go with your gut feeling - "when in doubt go without" - my little man sounds similar to Oskar and he has never been wrong - this is their way to communicate - makes sense when you think about it
For what its worth, i dont think missing max 6 weeks or so of swimming is going to inhibit his ability once he does get in the pool. My DD#2 was your sons age when i was heavily pregnant with DD#3, thus the reason i took her out for a term of swimming....you wouldnt know it now, 10 months later. Kids learn and adapt quickly. Maybe you need a term off, it doesnt seem worth the worry...
Good luck - i know how these things can take over our lives. You will look back at all this in a week and think 'im so glad i made that decision.....
Seems to be a theme here... go with the gut...lol. When will we learn, really!!
mbear, that's good feedback. Thank you so much!
Well, omg you wouldn't believe it. I feel like I had a sign this morning. The phone rang at around 7:45am... YES AM and I was like WTH is calling me this early! Well turns out to be the swim school (the new one) and they wanted us to come earlier as a lot of kids had called in sick so they were cancelling his time and bringing it all forward. I told them no we have some things to do before swimming (hmmm is it bad to lie?? lol) and that it was ok we'll do it next week (gives me a couple of days to build up some courage to speak to them - I was thinking of telling them that his old swim school has changed his time back and that we will be continuing there... what do you think about that???). So, I got off the phone and thought WOW I think that's a sign, the decision has been made for me. Also, in hindsight the time of the classes at the new school is pretty bad with his sleep time, cos he actually seems to be having his nap pretty much around that time now anyway.
Firstly, just want to thank you for your help and advice It was really helpful to me.
Secondly, I called the swim school yesterday and told them that due to Oskar's reaction we didn't think it a good idea for him to go there as we didn't want him to get any bad water association fears. So I asked them to cancel him and asked when I could go and get a refund from them. (I didn't give them the option of sending it and didn't ask IF they would, said I would go there and get it)... so no probs. Going to pick up the money next week as there is not a mutual time which suits before then, but it's all good, I'm getting my money back and that's all that matters!
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What would you do???..... (a little long sorry)
Something just doesn't feel right, but I'm not sure if it's me worried that he's going to get really upset again or if it's a gut feeling. What would you do?? What would you say if you decided not to go there?? I've already paid for one month as they have a policy of one month in advance. Please give me some advice or opinions. Thanks for reading.
to you all and thank you all so much for your input. It really can help to make things clearer in your own head.
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