We've had similar probs but b/c my DD is 5 its easier in the fact I can go thru and try reason with her why she needs to poo. I also feel tho like I'm the poo police, making her go try to do one each night. Don't know if its helping alot but at least she's not going days now in between. She was constantly complaining of sore tummy, not so much anymore. For us there was the fear of being dirty so even tho she's 5 often I have to still clean her afterwards. The other fear was hurting so after using pear juice everyday it did help soften the poo so she learnt that it only hurt from holding in and getting hard. Good luck