RoryRory, thank you! Your post made so much sense to me. I've been trying to tell him that its not that bad but he is sooo particular about this issue. It does mean that much to him, he was smoking 60 cigerattes a day just before bub was born - and he quit because it means so much to him.

Snowy - "your bubs, your rules" very true! When it comes to family, do what you think it right.

I was talking to a group of nonsmoking friends today about this issue (they have babies too), and they were very much in the same boat as me. Most of them said they didn't mind smokers holding bubs, so long as they had clean hands, and a clean shirt on (which was my rule for DD). One good friend mentioned to me the smell of a smoker, and said can you imagine being cuddled by that smell, even if it is just for 10 minutes.

FWIW too, i remember when DD was a baby, all of my smoking friends (i have many, like i said i've got nothing against them) never even asked to take DD, they knew that to us - it wasn't appropriate. I remember being at a bbq, and the lady who owns the house went and had a shower so she was fresh to hold the bub - we let her, and i was so thankful that she understood and respected our views.

I guess i am just worried about this one friend, because we have only known her for a short time, she doesn't know what we were like with DD, so she may be offended. I'm sure it will all work out.

BTW are there any non smokers out there??? I've had heaps of responses from smokers, but what about non smokers? What are your views on this issue??

Again, please don't take this as a personal attack on you, it is simply our personal thoughts and opinions, everyone is entitled to their own, including me and my man