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Thread: SO Confused!! (bit of a long one!)

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Perth WA

    Default SO Confused!! (bit of a long one!)

    Im so confused! My dd Stella is almost 6wks old and has always been a 3/4 hourly feeder since birth.I was having trouble getting her back to sleep after her night feeds,she usually sleeps well during the day (2-3 hrs sometimes)so I know the answer is proberly too much sleep durng the day(?).Anyway,a few friends had suggested 'save our sleep' as a good guide to starting a routine,most of them saying in the same breath that it was pretty strict but had some good ideas.So after another sleepless night I decided to give it a go,and to be honest it did help me feel better.I have been following it pretty much word for word and I guess its not that much different to what we were doing before just with more structured feeding times (still 3 hourlyish) and Stella is just going with the flow so far (still not wanting to sleep after the night feeds though).

    So,I thought I'd have a look on here and see if anyone was doing the routines too and was intrested to find that alot of people dont agree with them. Now Im not sure if I should keep going with the routine or not? Im kind of an all or nothing person so dont really know how to relax the routine and just use it as a guide? There's definatley things I didnt really agree on,like waking her for feeds or waiting the reccomended time before she's aloud to go to sleep! And the settling techniques seem abit harsh.As you can proberly tell I'm totally clueles and ANY advice would help

    Also,any thoughts on the 'dreamfeed'? Should I try feeding her when she's sleeping or just wait till she wakes up on her own? Help please!

  2. #2



    its such a rocky wonderful road this thing called motherhood isn't it. well I know it certainly is for me! so many different ideas, opinions, and "ways" to do things.... what feels right in your heart hun? As for dream feeds - I did them, and aston really would stay asleep, and suckle while he was sleeping. Sometimes he would sleep longer then if I had just left him, sometimes not, and he will still wake. I have to admit, I honestly thought that he was never going to sleep through the night. and then all of a sudden he stopped waking, weaned himself, and became a little boy! Too quickly it has past and I'm on to the next run run run stage.

    Anyway, this is about you, not me... I haven't read the book, so I can't say what I think about it, or if it works... sorry, wish I was of more help...

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Chasing Daylight...


    Ness sounds like you really want what's best for your beautiful little one.

    Personally, I don't like rigid routines like the one you're talking about.... my babies have both been little individuals, and what worked for one didn't work for the other. The settling techniques we use will vary from baby to baby because they are, essentially, such unique little beings I don't agree with making a baby wait for a feed or to sleep because it's not the right time yet.... that would certainly make me very grumpy if I was thirsty and no one would give me a drink, or if I was exhausted and I wasn't able to sleep, IYKWIM.

    Pinky has some excellent gentle suggestions for sleep and's a link to an article she's written for this site, but why don't you visit the BB shop and check out some of her books. Here's a link to her Sleeping Like a Baby.

    Ness all the best

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jul 2006


    Ness, the thing with parenting is that different things work for different people. Personally, that book didn't work for me at all, but I know of others who have followed it to the letter and swear by it. If you are following it and it's working for you, stick with it. Just be aware that if you are bfing, the routines in there are not really good for maintaining a good supply.

    For me, I found that what worked was setting routines around the boys' cues. For example both my boys used to get really tired pretty soon after waking up in the morning. So they used to have a sleep within an hour, sometimes half an hour, after getting up for the day. That's what worked for them, so that was the starting point for our routines. This felt right for me. Also, gentle parenting felt right for me - it's what my instincts told me to do. But that's not for everyone.

    I suggest doing what feels right for you, and not worrying about what anyone else thinks. Because whatever you do you will have critics. And I am sure that you are doing a pretty great job.

    Oh and WRT to the dream feed - that too is an individual thing. Jack used to sleep through the night without it, so I didn't do it with him. Tom was having a dream feed until 12 months, and usually still waking once in the night (but he'd wake twice without the dream feed). So I think it's a trial and error thing. If it works for you, go for it, if not don't. GL, it will get easier to figure these things out, it's all experience!

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