She's just communicating with you. Kids "tantrum" because they need something, get upset and don't know how else to deal with the way they're feeling. They just need help to learn. It's really important that they know you're still there for them even if they lose control.

When they're little, sometimes just a cuddle is enough. Or distraction if they're upset over something in particular, like a lost toy or not getting what they want or something. Make a joke, do something funny, show them something else or whatever.

Older kids might need a little space to work through things, but it helps them to know you're nearby and they aren't in trouble for behaving like this. When they're ready, they might come to mum/dad for cuddles to help them calm down. They literally can't do it themselves when they're little and they learn by being shown how - when you cuddle and soothe them, their brains are learning how to do this. It's a long process, however, it takes years.

If she wants to be held, then the easiest way to get through this and avoid upset is to hold her. Or keep her close some other way. You encourage the crying and whinging by refusing her, not the opposite. I would wear mine on my back in a carrier, put them up on the bench, sit them in a high chair. All they need is to be close to us.