Our routine is rock solid. He just goes berserk as part of that routine it seems. I do plonk him on tge floor when he hits but tgere is no point where he'll settle down after this happens. its like once the switch is flicked. .. theres no going back. no amount of explaining or soothing cuts it and if I pick him up again he won't let me put him down without the tantrum starting all over again.
Swimming is out for at least a month- he has a cast on after recent foot surgery.
I am seriously concerned not that there are tantrums .... but tge sheer force behind them and the frequency. hes screaming more than hes happy. While on the post op ward everyone stared as I tried to soothe a 90min long screamfest. He wasnt in pain..... it was jyst a change of cast. Babies younger than him were quietly sitting and eating. he was hitting me, throwing his food on the floor and goung mental no matter what we did.
It's hard to explain. I get that certain things will generally set a kid off.... but everything seems to fet him going. This has happened all alobg. since before I was pg. At 3mths old I couldn't walj away for a minute without him screaming.
Not crazy, just tired and needing help and support.
Do you feel he should be assessed for sensory issues? It sounds like you feel his behaviour is outside the range of normal. I say listen to your instinct.
How can you gather support in the meantime? Do you have any family nearby?
You are not crazy at all. Toddlers with tantrums have a way of making you feel that way at times though!
I'm a softy but with DD I did "the nanny" naughty room thing although instead of her bedroom where the toys are and it's fun I put her in the laundry where all chemicals are out of reach and there's absolutely nothing fun in there! She had 2 mins when 2 y/o etc. I too am finding that her behaviour lately as I'm pg is getting naughtier and more clingy, I keep telling her I'm not working any more and I'm home now so we have more time, and as Catastrophic has said I say 'right, I'll play for 5 mins then do some washing and come back to play.'
If your instinct is that something may be underlying then def seek an opinion from your doc or MCHN, but 2 y/olds are challenging as they are learning who they are and that they have a say. I know it's very hard and like you we have absolutely no 'village' of help either and have done everything ourselves. We also haven't been out since before DD came along, can you and your DP go out seperately for some 'grown up' time?
You're doing a great job, don't doubt yourself and a great saying I was told to think of in tough moments is, 'this too shall pass'. Amazingly it does pass and you wonder how you did it but you do and you will, hope things get better for you soon
back later to respond to everyone properly when I have more time.
Arcadia- Instinct tells me we need help. We have my sister and DPs brother about half an hr away. Today is tge first time we've seen BIL in 7mths. DS doesn't know him and wont go to him. My sister is always too busy. I've asked for help but they are all too busy all the time. :/ it hurts because im desperate and they dont care.
I agree with the others that you are doing a brilliant job. It sounds tough. I don't know that is be handling it as well as you.
As others have also said, I get the vibe that you feel his behaviours are outside what is classed as 'normal'. If that's the case is definitely get him seen to, that way you can either rule that out or, if there is something to it, get some help.
In the meantime, would any of these things help:
1. Doing 'first' and then 'then' sentences with him, eg, "first we are going to play blocks and then Mummy is going to ....". It could even help to explain these things visually to him (eg have a card that you can Velcro little cards with these activities to - that way he can 'see' what's going to happen.
2. Getting an egg timer (or some other sort) and telling him that when it is finished you'll be back to play (you could slowly increase the time).
3. Pump him up with heaps of praise whenever he does play alone or doesn't have a tantrum ect (DD1 loves hearing how happy Mummy and Daddy are when she displays a behaviour we love).
A question - what's his language like? Is it possible the screaming could be due to not being able to 'use his words' and express himself any other way?
I do plonk him on tge floor when he hits but tgere is no point where he'll settle down after this happens. its like once the switch is flicked. .. theres no going back. no amount of explaining or soothing cuts it and if I pick him up again he won't let me put him down without the tantrum starting all over again.
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