Is there anyone who does not use Santa?

[angelaartsstudent]

I am another one who remembers being shattered that Santa wasn't real...but I don't feel guilty about my choice not to bring my kids up with Santa.

NO way am I going to get xmas photos of my kids with Santa...those dudes freak me out. Gross gross gross.

We don't even have an xmas tree...1. becuase we live in a flat and there is NO room and 2. becuase I cbf. My Mum bought us one 4 years ago when we lived in a house, but there's just no space now.

My Mum still puts up her tree (well, my sis usually does it) even though she lives by herself becuase it was the same tree that we had as a kid, and the tree and decorations are nearly 30 years old.

Xmas was sort of a downer for me after my Dad died. Has never been the same. He died on Nov 24, so xmas was not far after.

[Just Me]

I have been thinking about the whole issue of spoiling it for others and while I hope my kids won't and I will do what I can to ensure they don't ... I think if parents tell their kids about Santa, that is also part of their responsibility to figure out what to say to their own kids when this issue does come up. I don't think it is entirely the responsibility of parents that choose not to have Santa as a part of Christmas celebrations. There are also a lot of other sources that talk about Santa not being real - the media and tv mainly, but issues will arise from there as well. I don't think it is fair to put all the responsibility onto the shoulders of parents who don't want to make Santa a part of Christmas. We have to take responsibility in what happens in our own families and if we chose to believe something (or not believe it) then we have to work out how we are going to support those beliefs with our children in the face of contraversy. I don't think it is fair to expect others to believe what we believe - either way - but I think we can teach respect for what others believe.

[Arimeh]

Good point Just Me.

I'm not worried about my kids spoiling it for others (sorry, but I'm not!) because whats stopping an older child telling your child that santa doesn't exist? An older sibling, an older cousin, a older child at daycare - any of these could spoil it for your young child because they've already been told santa doesn't exist.

My children will always be taught to respect other families beliefs, whether we believe in them or not - but I do think there is only so much you can do..... kids will be kids... and kids can be mean.....

FWIW - I found out about Santa, the Tooth Fairy AND the Easter bunny all in one go when I was about 4. Who told me? My 9 year old sister.

[Persephone1]

I have been thinking about the whole issue of spoiling it for others and while I hope my kids won't and I will do what I can to ensure they don't ... I think if parents tell their kids about Santa, that is also part of their responsibility to figure out what to say to their own kids when this issue does come up. I don't think it is entirely the responsibility of parents that choose not to have Santa as a part of Christmas celebrations. There are also a lot of other sources that talk about Santa not being real - the media and tv mainly, but issues will arise from there as well. I don't think it is fair to put all the responsibility onto the shoulders of parents who don't want to make Santa a part of Christmas. We have to take responsibility in what happens in our own families and if we chose to believe something (or not believe it) then we have to work out how we are going to support those beliefs with our children in the face of contraversy. I don't think it is fair to expect others to believe what we believe - either way - but I think we can teach respect for what others believe.

:yeahthat: What I wanted to say but am not as eloquent!

[toomanyshoes]

I have been thinking about the whole issue of spoiling it for others and while I hope my kids won't and I will do what I can to ensure they don't ... I think if parents tell their kids about Santa, that is also part of their responsibility to figure out what to say to their own kids when this issue does come up. I don't think it is entirely the responsibility of parents that choose not to have Santa as a part of Christmas celebrations. There are also a lot of other sources that talk about Santa not being real - the media and tv mainly, but issues will arise from there as well. I don't think it is fair to put all the responsibility onto the shoulders of parents who don't want to make Santa a part of Christmas. We have to take responsibility in what happens in our own families and if we chose to believe something (or not believe it) then we have to work out how we are going to support those beliefs with our children in the face of contraversy. I don't think it is fair to expect others to believe what we believe - either way - but I think we can teach respect for what others believe.

Exactly! My kids do believe in Santa but I don't think it's anyone else responsibility to "protect" that. Same as explaining to the kids why some people believe in God and others don't.

I remember my "santa" being spoilt by older cousins who use to believe in him but when they got older and found out he wasn't real wanted to spoilt it for the younger ones. Mind you I have to admit I told mum I believed in santa for as long as possible because it meant an extra present!

[Moi]

I have been thinking about the whole issue of spoiling it for others and while I hope my kids won't and I will do what I can to ensure they don't ... I think if parents tell their kids about Santa, that is also part of their responsibility to figure out what to say to their own kids when this issue does come up. I don't think it is entirely the responsibility of parents that choose not to have Santa as a part of Christmas celebrations. There are also a lot of other sources that talk about Santa not being real - the media and tv mainly, but issues will arise from there as well. I don't think it is fair to put all the responsibility onto the shoulders of parents who don't want to make Santa a part of Christmas. We have to take responsibility in what happens in our own families and if we chose to believe something (or not believe it) then we have to work out how we are going to support those beliefs with our children in the face of contraversy. I don't think it is fair to expect others to believe what we believe - either way - but I think we can teach respect for what others believe.

That is so true! Well said. I will of course teach respect for what others believe in. But we can't really prevent children from telling others. Nor can we stop them finding out on the internet or TV or other media sources.

[Phteven]

Am I the only person here who loves lying to their kids?
I convinced one of them that he was turning into a cat the other day when he found a cat hair in his own hair PMSL. He was kind of disappointed when I explained that he wasn't really going to be able to climb trees and hang out with the Aristocats. And that our pet cat wasn't really his big sister.

We don't celebrate Christmas or have Santa in the house but the truth is no competition against a classroom of 6 year olds pmsl. I've been put firmly in my place on the Santa issue.

My extended family celebrate Christmas and even the 60 year olds get a visit from Santa. The fun just doubles once every one is in on the secret.

[HotI]

We had a community event the other day and one of my mates was 'Santa'. His 5 year old daughter thought she was so clever cos she picked that it was her Daddy dressed up in red. The 2 year old kids didn't work it out though.

[Daydream Believer]

Not sure if this has been covered but what do you say to family/friends/etc that tell you you're spoiling it for the kids & that you're mean? And how do you explain it so they will follow with it.

We have decided we don't want to do Santa but they are already drilling into DD's head about Santa now (she's 2). As far as our Christmas at home is concern the kids will get presents from us & none from Santa. I wont mention Santa unless Im asked & will ask them what they think & explain it like someone else has suggested, like religion

[Moi]

Not sure if this has been covered but what do you say to family/friends/etc that tell you you're spoiling it for the kids & that you're mean? And how do you explain it so they will follow with it.

We have decided we don't want to do Santa but they are already drilling into DD's head about Santa now (she's 2). As far as our Christmas at home is concern the kids will get presents from us & none from Santa. I wont mention Santa unless Im asked & will ask them what they think & explain it like someone else has suggested, like religion

I haven't told my friends and family yet because I don't think they will understand. Though we will have to bring it up at some point I guess. My DD is 2 years old as well and everyone (even strangers) are asking her about Santa.

I found this interesting blog post about someone who is not using Santa (and the comments are interesting too).

[Arimeh]

Not sure if this has been covered but what do you say to family/friends/etc that tell you you're spoiling it for the kids & that you're mean? And how do you explain it so they will follow with it.

We have decided we don't want to do Santa but they are already drilling into DD's head about Santa now (she's 2). As far as our Christmas at home is concern the kids will get presents from us & none from Santa. I wont mention Santa unless Im asked & will ask them what they think & explain it like someone else has suggested, like religion

Our families know that we don't "do" Santa and they respect it. Sure they think its a little funny and my mum probably thinks we're a little bit kill joy type thing, but its not them that has to deal with it, so I don't think they really care too much what we do.

DS has already had an incident at daycare where someone was talking about Santa and he came home all excited because "santa" was coming to visit at xmas time, and we just told him that Santa was a character that some people believed in, and we happened to not believe in him. Not that they are right or wrong, just different.

Then the next time he went to daycare he told me that another kid had been talking about santa and I asked him what he had said and he said "I said that my mummy and daddy said Santa isn't real".. lol. and I'm like.. nooo.. don't say that.. just say that we don't believe in Santa - thats all you need to say... lol
Ahhh... kids.....

[Just Me]

Not sure if this has been covered but what do you say to family/friends/etc that tell you you're spoiling it for the kids & that you're mean? And how do you explain it so they will follow with it.

We have decided we don't want to do Santa but they are already drilling into DD's head about Santa now (she's 2). As far as our Christmas at home is concern the kids will get presents from us & none from Santa. I wont mention Santa unless Im asked & will ask them what they think & explain it like someone else has suggested, like religion

I just read that blog that Moi posted and if you are struggling to tell friends and family - writing something like that might be the way to go. She was very clear and concise about what Christmas means to her, why she doesn't want to include Santa and her reasons. Verbally explaining it might be met with a lot more objections than if you just write out an email and send it off (or even better a blog post, if you have one and send the link out). At least you get to put down all your ideas and think it through so it comes across as saying what you want it to rather than having to fight disagreements and argue your case while you haven't had a good chance to explain what you are thinking.

I think writing something like this also gives us all a good chance to think about what we are actually doing and get it straight in our own heads too. Let's face it, Santa is a pretty major part of Christmas and leaving him out is seen to be a bit on the Scrooge side of things, but I think knowing what you are doing and why you are doing it is really important. I don't think the lady in the blog sounded scroogy at all because of how she explained herself and she made some very very good points.

Just my 2c worth anyway

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I desperately did not want Santa. I hate Santa. I hate the whole "god of winter" thing and the materialism and judgement.

I hate even more that a woman at Liebling's childcare - one of the workers - has told him that unless he gets perfectly toilet trained then "Father Christmas won't give you any presents because you are naughty." They had a Santa at Childcare and Liebs was so surprised when his name was called... I am VERY not happy with this woman!

DH likes Santa. My sister makes a big thing of Santa, despite me telling her we don't do that.

I have compromised and said that gifts are fine; DS likes giving. I am willing to tell DS the story of St Nicholas and The Night Before Christmas as well. I am happy to explain the traditions of the stocking by the fire. I will also explain that Nicholas is long-dead and it's just a rememberance.

We make Christmas about the birth of Jesus. Which fair enough, it isn't. I mean, shepherds watching their flocks by night all seated on the ground in the bleak midwinter would be very foolish. If not all dead the next day. But when the world is dark, we remember that Jesus is the light of the world. (This also means I can sing carols from September, as Jesus was probably born around then.) And his being born was a miracle. We also remember that Christmas without Easter is meaningless. For advent, DS hangs a star on the tree every day, thanking God for something as he does so. Which is the reason why we put our tree up on the last Saturday of November.

One final point - Leibs will be told that "Santa Claus" is from the Spanish and another name for Nicholas. I don't even use Saint Nicholas: I don't call my husband Saint Ambassador. "Saint" is just one of the early words for "Christian". I disagree with "Father Christmas" more - the Father of Christmas would be the father of Christ... I'm fairly sure that the Almighty doesn't deliver Lego. (Although thank You God that we have Lego, which is a great fun toy and encourages hand-eye co-ordination and creativity, and thank You for giving us the means to buy Lego.)

[Early Kids]

We don't do Santa here, but won't be discouraging it either. If the kids decide that Santa is real then we will go with that. On the day I just hand out the presents without saying this is from mum and dad, etc.