Hi Tegan, sorry you are finding it so difficult right now (((hugs)))

First can I say that IT REALLY DOES GET EASIER. Truly. Remember back to when you first had Lily. Total shock if you were anything like me. Whole days of feeling like you've achieved nothing, military logistical planning to get out of the house and go anywhere, etc. But after a few weeks or a few months you got so used to it that you felt weird doing anything without her. Well it's just the same with two. After a while you'll just see that as normal, and if you ever go out with only one of them it will be like a holiday. As time passes, Charlie will become more settled and Lily will get used to being a big sister. Eventually, they will be able to amuse each other for a few minutes while you have a cuppa and read!

In the meantime, I'd suggest to get yourself some support ASAP. If your relations or friends are not nearby, meet some new people near where you live. Join a mums group, an Australian Breastfeeding Association group, a church group or whatever you can find that might suit you. Ask your child health nurse what support is available locally, down here we have several organisations that will help parents both over the phone and with visits. Make the effort to get out of the house, you might meet up with like minded people at the playground, park or cafe. Or see if someone you trust can come and stay with you to help for a while, especially if you partner does have to go away for a while. (But I bet you'll be coping fine by then anyway) If at all possible, consider making some time with Lily alone, so that you can give her special attention to ease the transition and jealousy.

Hmmm it's getting late, I'd probably be able to think of more suggestions in the morning... but the main things for you to know are (1) you're normal - it IS hard to adjust from one to two (2) it gets easier quite soon and (3) don't hesitate to ask for help, especially if you're feeling anxious, depressed or generally overwhelmed.