Oooh, I disagree with your DH's methods. Although you may disagree with mine: my DH and I disagree about giving water in the middle of the night: I do, he doesn't.

I do porridge pre-bed (or another filling snack) so Liebs isn't hungry.

However, this doesn't sound like the issue. Sounds like he just can't be bothered with the constant supervision a toddler needs. I understand that. Does he want to do it or do you ask him to do it? If he wants to, he does it with an awareness and a presence. If he doesn't, well, you get the "easy solution" which you rightly fear may lead to death.

If your DD doesn't like going to bed, have you asked her why? Is it a fear of something: dark, or missing out on time with you? She's only one, can you let her "stay up late" (ie an extra half-hour) as a treat some nights to alleviate this? Or can you tell her it's your bedtime too and you're off to bed. Even spending the odd evening in your pjs, so she sees you ready for bed. Or a nightlight that switches off after 15 mins?