All three of mine where Velcro babies and I have no doubt this one will be too! I used to get stupid comments like oohhh that's not good you spoil him. That's not good you should let him cry. I even got one stupid women saying I should stop bf because ds3 was too clingy. But you know what? I am proud of it now after all I AM their mumma if they don't feel safe and content with me well then who? It does get better. My boys are only clingy when they are sick now. I must admit I do still co sleep sometimes with all of them! But I doubt they will be still doing that in their twenties!! ) (god I hope not)
Bonus! I just managed the nip and slip on the bed and got a WHOLE 15 minutes before Miss P realised she was not attached to me and woke up. Long enough to slam a sandwich in my gob... I no complain!!
DS1 is stil very emotional. I think its just some types of people. DS2 wasnt very emotional as a baby but is now and stil would be happy to be held all day every day if anybody was willing but kindy has helped that a bit.
Just got DD to sleep while she lay on the bed with me next to her! We'll see how long she sleeps for though- hope long enough for me to mop the floors
Dannii - DS is VERY emotional as well! That's exactly it! He gets really upset, really quickly, over little things. He's much more gentle and soft than his friends - he doesn't throw his toys, doesn't touch other children, doesn't take things off other children, not into climbing.
We had a play date yesterday and his friend stood near him (he was in his highchair, friend on the floor) and he just LOST it. Every time another child comes near him, he tenses up, gets distraught and clings to me. When he hears our neighbour raise her voice, he tenses up. When another kid 'throws' a toy while playing, not AT him, just away as in 'finished with that, what's next?!' (as all 16 month olds - except DS - do) he hates it. All these things make him clingy for ages afterwards. I feel bad that seeing other children seems so anxiety ridden for him, but I am hoping that by continuing to do it in small doses with me there to support him, he'll gradually improve.
We do a lot of talking about how it's ok to play on the other side of the room without mummy being right there, or it's ok to go 2m away to get a toy and come straight back. We also talk lots about friends and what they do (friends might want to play with a toy you have, they might sit/walk/stand near you, they might even touch you - and all of that is ok) and I always tell him where we're going and who we're going to see, and what kinds of things we could be doing before a play date (mummy might sit down and you might run around on the grass in front of her, mummy might push you on the swing, *insert name* might want to play with your ball and that would be ok because he's your friend etc). He has an awesome understanding of feelings, can sense if someone is upset and empathises very well too. Gee, I think DS is much more than a velcro baby too! But he's my perfect little guy and I wouldn't change him for anything.
DT - DS is usually pretty good in his carseat. We have a fave toy or two in the car, but he now knows he has to put his arm through the seatbelt before he gets it (or swap hands if it's a small toy). I don't do any more than two stops on an outing or getting him back in the carseat can be a hassle. I also make sure he's had at least one chance to walk/move about before he goes back in the car rather than go straight from carseat to stroller to car seat again (though it's rare he goes in the stroller at all!).
DS is a limpet! When he was a newborn he had to be held ALL the time unless he was asleep or being bounced in his bouncer. The sling didn't work as it wasn't close enough. When he got to about 5 or 6 months, he started to enjoy our little walks in the pram as long as we kept moving, and from about 7 months he'd even fall asleep in there (though would wake up as soon as it stopped moving!). DS's sleep times were the only time I got to be more than a few metres away from him up until a couple of months ago.
When he could sit, things improved in that I could sit with him rather than having to hold him, but still had to carry him every time I moved (even if it was just across the room!). When he started crawling, he'd follow me around, then cling to my leg until I picked him up. Same for when he started walking. People used to tell me he'd be 'happier' once he could crawl/walk etc but it wasn't until after he turned one, he started becoming a bit more independent. I don't think it had anything to do with being more mobile, it was more of a developmental and understanding thing.
He will happily play for 5 or so minutes right next to me or DH now, but does still spend most of his 'independent play time' sitting on my lap, iykwim. He still grabs us and pulls us along to play with him or show him something, but once or twice a day he will wander off and play by himself for up to 20 minutes. He will also usually play in the lounge by himself while I am in there folding washing. He's absolutely fine if it's his idea to move away, but still gets upset if we're the ones who have to go and he doesn't want us to.
Basically, my little man wants to be wherever we are. The more he's included, the happier he is. The happier he is, the less of a limpet he is. That 1/2 metre gap seems like a kilometre when you've spent 12 months connected to him, lol! I'm used to going to the toilet with him now (he's at the age where he's pointing and asking about everything now so it's like a running commentary...'mummy is doing a wee'...'mummy is pulling her pants up'....'mummy is flushing' :reface and having him around while I do the housework - he plays with the pegs or hands them to me, gets the washing out of the machine, sits on the bench while I chop veggies, plays in his 'special' cupboard while I do the washing up etc. He's also great with a dustpan and brush or sponge....
My brother and his partner have just had a baby and I was amazed when we visited to be greeted at the door by mum and dad and bub was in the bouncer around the corner, awake but not screaming! It didn't compute...
Someone spilled superglue on me, I think. Little girl is sick, which doesn't help (if she's well, I get 3 or 4 30 minute bursts per day in which to do stuff.) but, yeah, I own 9 different baby carriers for a reason!
my DS was like that & still is to a certain extent.
he wanted to sleep on me for naps for a long time - he definitely grew out of it a bit by the time he was 6 months. i still lie down next to him while he goes to sleep & he's 2. i don't have a problem with it though & he's been sleeping on a matress (and a bed since he was about 18 months) since he was 9 months old - it's made settling him far easier.
i noticed that he became far more independent when he started walking at 12 months - it was almost as if he realised he could get to me (moreso than when he was crawling) if he needed to, which meant it was okay to leave my side.
he still likes a bit of my attention & often asks for 'cuggles' but i don't mind i went through a stage of being a bit frustrated but someone commented at playgroup one day how lovely it must be to get all those cuddles & how her little boy just wasn't interested. then i realised i needed to change my way of thinking & appreciate the positives.
i tried a sling when DS was a NB but didn't have much money to try different sorts & he didn't like the one i'd bought this time i'm prepared & have already bought a close carrier!
I'm a velcro mama from way back.
Can't help you with when it will improve cos I've blocked those memories out lol.
I did console myself many a time with 'I'm offering them a nurturing, secure safe place to gain their confidence. They will use that to their advantage to feel safe and secure enough to venture out on their own'.
DD I battled, but DS I just went with it and I have to say, he is much more independent, self confident and self assured than DD. And apart from that early stage my parenting is largely the same for both of them. it def does get better though.
) (god I hope not)
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But he's my perfect little guy and I wouldn't change him for anything.
this time i'm prepared & have already bought a close carrier!
it def does get better though.
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