my DS was like that & still is to a certain extent.
he wanted to sleep on me for naps for a long time - he definitely grew out of it a bit by the time he was 6 months. i still lie down next to him while he goes to sleep & he's 2. i don't have a problem with it though & he's been sleeping on a matress (and a bed since he was about 18 months) since he was 9 months old - it's made settling him far easier.
i noticed that he became far more independent when he started walking at 12 months - it was almost as if he realised he could get to me (moreso than when he was crawling) if he needed to, which meant it was okay to leave my side.
he still likes a bit of my attention & often asks for 'cuggles' but i don't mind i went through a stage of being a bit frustrated but someone commented at playgroup one day how lovely it must be to get all those cuddles & how her little boy just wasn't interested. then i realised i needed to change my way of thinking & appreciate the positives.
i tried a sling when DS was a NB but didn't have much money to try different sorts & he didn't like the one i'd bought this time i'm prepared & have already bought a close carrier!
I'm a velcro mama from way back.
Can't help you with when it will improve cos I've blocked those memories out lol.
I did console myself many a time with 'I'm offering them a nurturing, secure safe place to gain their confidence. They will use that to their advantage to feel safe and secure enough to venture out on their own'.
DD I battled, but DS I just went with it and I have to say, he is much more independent, self confident and self assured than DD. And apart from that early stage my parenting is largely the same for both of them. it def does get better though.
We call DS Klingon. But thankfully he's only an wakeful cling on... He does sleep, now, in his cot. But before he was about 6mths, only on me.
Now, when he is awake, he has to be with me, generally in my arms. I'm a leader for mainly music, a music-based Playgroup, and on Friday DS did the whole session from the vantage point of the Ergo on my back. He loved it and all the mums thought it was quite funny! He wouldn't even go to my sister, who he has seen every week, a coupons of times a week normally, since he was born. And he loves his Aunty! But even she wasn't cutting it!
We'll slide in here.
Its summer here and HOT so my sling isnt used to full potential, great but too hot.
Pram? Nah not really yet its too far away from mummy
Somedays Sophie spends most of the day grizzling because mummy put her down. I havent mastered 1 handed toileting yet, 1 handed hanging out of washing etc, bring on the cooler weather so we can sling it all day. All our kids have been varying degrees of velcro but this 1 takes the cake
My mum says baby is manipulating me- RIGHT, cause a 2-3 month old baby can think that way ? WTH!
Aaaahhh, doubletrouble, our mum's must be friends!! My mother tells me that I am 'making a rod for my own back' when I pick Miss P up instead of letting her CIO. Yes, mum, but it is MY OWN back - not yours, so shush!
As for prams, I have a Bugaboo Cameleon I bought for this baby (I have two older kiddies, but I wanted a new pram). My DH likes to tell me I spent $1500 on a very expensive shopping trolley as I have to carry Miss P around while I push it!!
I think just as the clinginess is about to end, the separation anxiety kicks in and you start all over again.... Having said that, DS is at an awesome age atm, and I love having him around me all day. The times I resent it and wish he'd let me put him down (and get on with housework etc), the worse it gets (and I think I spent way too much time doing that when he was a newborn - all those self-imposed expectations of having to be Supermum :shake head. When I just go with it and spend time with him, we have soooo much fun together. If the vacuuming doesn't get done, so what? If it takes 30 minutes to hang the washing out, so what? I have the most amazing little boy who teaches me so much more than a vacuum cleaner ever could.
Toilet tip - I'd take the bouncer in there and bounce it, plus sing and make faces and that would buy me just enough time to do what I needed to (with grizzles, but not full blown upset crying).
OP, you cracked me up with Klingon - DH calls the the 'remnants' on the toilet bowl Klingons (as in, "There's Klingons on the starboard bow"!!!!) ROFL
Also, Jaycee, get a better sling. If yours is uncomfortable at 4 months, then it's a piece of junk. You won't know yourself when you can do back carries.
It's so good to read all this - I kinda thought it was normal and wondered how other mums get so much done. I've looked after plenty of other babies this age, but most were parented a little differently to what I have, so I pondered the connection. But it might just be my baby. And I don't mind. It's nice to be loved so much.
And as a friend says "When they're 15 they certainly won't want to climb into your bed in the night, or want cuddles ever, so just make the most of it while you can."
New Velcro baby here!! Ds is only two weeks but I can already see the same old pattern forming!! Great great great night sleeper in fact I get a good 7 hour stretch out of him. But means he cluster feeds and cat naps pretty much all day long!! I have never gotten the hang of baby wearing so it makes it very frustrating when needing to do daily tasks and tend to my other 3 boys!!
We call DS a barnacle, with me during the day, if DF is home tho i don't even get a look in. It used to be the opposite but now DF does the bedtime routine. As I type he's sitting on my feet cos I won't pick him up.
Can't wait for after our wedding when I have enough money to buy a proper carrier.
Just found this thread. My DD was a Velcro baby from a very early age. She would cry if anyone else held her so I was doing everything on my own for her which was tough at times. As she's gotten older she's OK with other people but still wants me around a lot. So she still is quite clingy with me but it has gotten easier.
My DD is just starting to show signs of Velcro-ness. She's 3 & 1/2 weeks now, and just over the last 4 or 5 days she'll only nap during the daytime if being held by me or DH. For now it's ok because DH is still on leave, so between the two of us we get to shower, eat, go to the loo and sleep (although sometimes it's only in shifts!). She'll usually lie in her bassinet after a feed and look around for 45 mins or so, but when it's time for sleep she starts to crack it.
Oh how I LOVE this thread!! Wow - I finally feel normal my boy is exactly like some of you have described - a typical velcro baby, and has always been!
It is just so draining isn't it?! Some days I just want to run away lol. Not being able to do ANYTHING for more than 5 minutes at a time is really difficult. It was the worst the first 4 or so months where he had colic and wouldn't let me put him down from holding him AT ALL. he has never ever been self sufficient with putting himself to sleep, and this hasnt changed at all. He still needs to be fed to sleep, and if that doesn't work then a mixture of rocking, singing, bouncing, crazy noises - you name it! He sleeps in a baby hammock as he needs motion all the time, but even still there is ALWAYS crying and fussing around sleep time, which i find so difficult.
Never being able to have any time for myself is hard too - but I always make sure I respond to his needs 100% of the time and over my own. I struggle with how to keep him happy and entertained as lately he has been trying to wriggle out of my arms like he's frustrated but if I go to put him down then hell breaks loose lol it's so hard to keep up with the demands sometimes! It has gotten a little easier but not really any less demanding, emotionally and physically. I am a stay at home Mum and He breastfeeds 2 hourly around the clock and has done so from birth. I REALLY dont want another baby until he is at least 5 years old and in school LOL how would you cope?!
The love I have for him is out of this world though, and although he is a Full on baby that never wants a minute of relaxation and cat naps only during the day - the love I feel and how sweet I think it is that he wants me so much just makes it all worth it.
And I always remember.... This too shall pass! They won't be like this forever
Look forward to sharing my journey with other Mummies that know exactly how *I* feel for a change!! Yay I am not alone
Sent from my iPhone more than likely while I should be doing something else
Lol... seems there are a lot of velcro babies out there! Danni, I know what you mean about bub being restless in you arms but then screeching if you put them down. What are you supposed to do?? Maybe our velcro babies want us to get down and crawl around on the floor right next to them? Miss P and I do have plenty of floor time together but she won't explore much further than a couple of metres from me. If I leave the room she screeches and follows!
It really is great to know there are others going through the same thing!
I bought myself an ergo the other day and it is the best thing I could of done it is super comfy and I can get things done while we are both happy!
DS2 is also happy to play in his walker for 15 mins or so a couple of times a day and also DS1 and DS2 are starting to interact a lot more which keeps him occupied for a little while too, it is really cute to watch!
Oh, Jaycee I'm loving school holidays! DD1 (8) is like Mini Mum and DD2 will sit with her for 20 minutes or so, which gives me a break. DS is pretty good too, although I only get about 10 minutes out of him!
Having said that, DD2 is currently making her way from the family room to the bedroom (where I am), screeching all the way!! Better go and attach my little appendage...
Nickel - The fact you even made it from the family room to the bedroom by yourself is huuuge! :roll eyes:
Jaycee - Glad the ergo is working for you.
Danni - I think you win, lol! You must be totally exhausted. It sounds like you don't ever get any time to yourself either. The fact you're even considering another is amazing! Having said that, I was thinking the same as you until DS got to about 12 months old. When his other skills (understanding, communicating) started getting better, I found things improved and a 4 year wait between children now seems waaay too much!
We still have issues with the same things every day though - me washing my hands, getting rid of dirty nappies and going to the loo. 9 times out of 10 he cracks it and now he's starting to do real tanties (head on the ground, bum in the air, screaming!) it's even more fun! :roll eyes: It's always worse if he's tired, hungry or just woken up (which usually means he's hungry, lol). We had a play date at the park yesterday and he spent the first hour pulling me around by the arm. He eventually warmed up and spent the next 15 minutes about 2m away from me (which was just bliss!), then got clingy again. It can be a bonus - the other mums are chasing their toddlers around trying to get them to come back and wondering why we're at a park that's not fenced but I don't have to worry about that at all!
But then we have mornings like today where he sat happily in his pram for an hour while I was shopping. Can't figure 'em out.....
i went through a stage of being a bit frustrated but someone commented at playgroup one day how lovely it must be to get all those cuddles & how her little boy just wasn't interested. then i realised i needed to change my way of thinking & appreciate the positives.
this time i'm prepared & have already bought a close carrier!
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it def does get better though.
my boy is exactly like some of you have described - a typical velcro baby, and has always been!
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