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Thread: What do you think the ideal age difference between siblings is

  1. #1

    Default What do you think the ideal age difference between siblings is

    Ok - So I keep getting asked the million dollar question by everyone, "when are you having another baby??" The thing is I don't know if I am 100% ready, although if it just happenend I would be pleased. my mum had 18 months between me and my sis, and said that in the early years it was really tough.
    But the positive was that we grew up together.



    So I pose the question. How many years to do you have between children, and what do you think is the "ideal" age gap.

    many thanks

    Meg

  2. #2

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    16 months - because that's the gap between mine lol.

    I don't think there is an ideal age gap. Every family has unique circumstances and personalities and whatever the age gap is your family will adapt to that dynamic and make it work. There are obviously going to be positives and negatives for every scenario.
    To a certain extent the choice is out of our hands - we might want 18 months or 2 or 3 years but our bodies may have differant ideas.

  3. #3

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    All my kids are around 3 years apart. I wanted that for some reason, more so it was easier on me. I wanted the first sleeping well & in their own bed & out of nappies before I had the next. Sometimes I wish I had them closer, but i'm happy. They fight like you wouldn't believe sometimes, but are best friends other times. Same as all siblings I guess.
    I don't think there is a right age gap. whenever your ready.

  4. #4

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    What Dach said LOL. For me it was 20mths between the first 3 and then just over 3yrs between 3 and 4 and it has been perfect for our family. I think when people say they would be happy if mother nature had other ideas and you got another baby earlier than *planned*, I think it is because you don't have to *think* about it - it just happens and you deal with it kwim?

  5. #5

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    For me there is 4 yrs 11 months between my first two and then another 4 yrs 9 months between my youngest and this bub. Its just how mother nature planned it.

    The ideal age gap is when you are ready and it happens, i think we would all say different gaps.

  6. #6

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    Between DD1 and DD2 there is 10 months 27 days
    The gap between DD2 and #3 will be around 14/15 months

    For us....the ideal gap is round 12 months. Im nto a fan of huge gaps, so closer the better

    At the end of the day the ideal gap is when your ready for another baby

  7. #7

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    We started TTC when Alexzander was nine months old so had anticipated a gap of 18 months was possible. As it turned out there is a gap of three years two months. I'm loving this size gap & to be honest I'm not sure how I would have coped with a smaller gap. But as the others said, for each family things are different.

  8. #8

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    As a wise perosn once said to me, the perfect age gap is the one you have. As every family is different There is no right or wrong

  9. #9

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    I think if you have the opportunity to space them out, I would.

    Based on my own and friends experiences, an age gap of about 3.5 (ish) is perfect. Mine are spaced 19 months apart and I if I had the chance I would have waited this time. I find it very, very hard to give 2 littlies the time they need from me. When they are babies it can really be a matter of good routine to avoid meltdowns (from everyone!), but giving them the attention they need individually is hard. When no1 is about 3-4 they have better language skills, are more independent, and tend to be in kinder or are big enough for childcare a day or two a week.

    I know this is a hard time agewise for my kids, but it's going to last a few more years yet. It can be exhausting! I do think kids need time from their parents, I think spacing kids is really important.

  10. #10

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    I suppose even if I was to get preg this month. (We have spent the last month in the UK, and lets just say we were not exactly careful ) There will be nearly 2.5 years between siblings.

    I am really enjoying reading people's P.O.V.

  11. #11
    pegasus Guest

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    Although I'm a single mum and waiting until things are working before having any more children, I personally want to wait until #1 is around 3yo before having #2. So I'd wait until DD is 2yo before starting to TTC. That's my opinion for my lifestyle. It depends on work and finances etc, so as long as its right for you or you can make the most of it, then it shouldn't matter. I just want DD walking and fully TT before the birth of #2. But it depends on what you make of it. Good luck to those TTC.

  12. #12

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    well ill be trying for another one about 1.5-2 years after this one is born. I grew up with my brother who was 12 months older than me but i loved it. we fought like cat and dog but dont they all.. Now its great coz we look out for eachother and i can talk to him about anything, vise versa. HTH

  13. #13

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    A chinese doctor i have been seeing told me at least 2 years between kids is ideal, any less than that and you don't have enough 'chee' (sp?) or good energy to give the next one!

  14. #14

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    I was thinking 2 - 3 years would be a great age gap, there is 3 years between my brother and I and 2 years between hubby and his sister, so its what he wants as well. Mind you I want another one now!!!!

  15. #15

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    DD#1 & DD#2 - 29 Months
    DD#2 & DD#3 - 19 months


    Prefer the 29 month gap. DD#1 was that bit older, wasnt so clingy, was a bit more independent - her sleeping pattern was more established, she could be left alone for 5-10 mins whilst i changed newborn.....

    I wanted #1 and #2 closer, but DH was studying for a promotion, so i had to wait . Looking back now, glad he did........

  16. #16

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    By the way everyone....DON'T count on your older child staying toilet trained. I chose the age gap I have mainly coz I didn't want to be changing 2 lots of nappies, but DD2 has gone back to nappies full time. She started to go toilet around christmas time & was going really good til DS came home. At least she does number 2's in the toilet. I don't think I could handle that at her age.

    I was kinda worried about it, but I'll let her decide when she's ready I think.

  17. #17

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    bjrose. I have heard of that happening quite a lot!

  18. #18

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    I've always wanted two kiddlies... There is 22mths between my sister and I (and thats the gap her kids will have). But I want to start to TTC when DS is around 2.5yrs old. All depends on our situation too (when whe TTC).

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