I totally agree with the others that giving a baby what it needs is not creating a rod for your back...it's looking after your child.

The main thing I did differently this time was not to let my bub get passed around - #1 got passed around a few times and it was disastrous to try and settle him those nights, he was so overtired! So when out, I carry my bub firmly against my chest in a carrier, and stuff those people who want a snuggle, they can come over when it's convenient for me and not so overwhelming for bub if a hold's so important to them.

I think I might be a bit more firm with others this time around too. I'm clearer about my wishes regarding my kids, and saying things like 'nope, that's NOT a good time for you to come around', instead of 'um, okay, that's dinnertime but that should be okay'.