What Should I Do? What Would You Prefer As A Parent?
My sister has been hospitalised, and DH and I may be looking after her 10 week old bub for the forseeable future.
He's a fairly clingy baby - well, more than his brother was - and so when I've looked after him in the past, I've held him the entire time, and he loves it. A couple of weeks ago, I looked after him for a weekend, and BIL made the comment a few days later that, because I had held him to sleep, he wouldn't sleep for them now, and they had to 'break' him of it again.
Now, I have my own ideas about holding him, and I'm happy to do so, but if we end up having him for a while, I don't want to make things harder on my sister when she's well enough to take him again. So I don't know whether I should follow my instincts and cuddle him when he wants it, or do what I know she does, which is hold him as little as possible. (I don't mean this sarcastically or as a judgement, she is not an affectionate person, so she doesn't tend to cuddle her bubs more than they absolutely need)
What would you do? And if you were in her situation, what would you prefer the carer of your child did?
This is a hard one. If it were me in your situation, I would do what was necessary to make him feel loved and wanted, and to help him settle in. So if holding him for long periods of time is what it takes, then I'd do it.
If I was in your sister's position, well I don't know to be honest. Bub is still so very young, so still needs a lot of affection.
I think that under the circumstances, he is probably going to need those cuddles to help him adjust as well. I don't think that in a single day you changed their baby, but I think that he is probably just one of those babies that needs lots of cuddles kwim? I think that to help you through this time that you are going to have to do what makes things easier for you, and that may mean you spend a lot of time holding him. I posted in your other thread that you should get a carrier for him to make it easier for you to go about your day to day as well.
cuddle, cuddle, cuddle- the poor little man is going to be missing his mummy, and he's still so little. have you got a hug-a-bub or something to hold him in for a while?
hmm.. it is a tough one. As a parent I would want the carer to respect our wishes, for eg. with regard to crying it out.. as in... NOT allowed. So I guess if they express certain wishes, they should be respected.
But it's hard for me to agree with not cuddling a bub So I dunno. They obviously trust you to care for bub on such a fulltime basis... they must trust your instincts as well. I think as a parent I would appreciate that no one else would parent exactly the same as me anyway, so whilst I might have a gripe here and there about how they've done a few things, deep down it wouldn't worry me too much if I trusted them. Bub will be unsettled to some extent anyway if there is a bit of chopping and changing... and in my books, that needs lots of cuddles... maybe use that as your excuse hehe
I would go the cuddle option. They obviously trust you and your ability to care for your nephew....knowing what you are like. I would just do what comes naturally to you. However, if your sister asked you not to do it so much, then I'd respect that too.
I would give cuddles when ever he needs, as he probably feels "abandoned" by his mum and needs reasurance he is loved. So I say cuddle away till your heart desires.
I have to say I agree with general trend of this thread. Being that the baby is experiencing a different environment (as in at your place) he will need the cuddles to relax and come to some kind of terms with it, also when he goes back, the reason he he was probably so upset the first time was just having to re settle again in his home, not because you "spoiled "him or anything.
Hope it all works out, I think following your instincts cant be a bad thing.
What Should I Do? What Would You Prefer As A Parent?
Go with the cuddles, he will know his mum isn't around and will need them right now. Babies need cuddles at this age, it doesn't mean he will be a clingy baby later on.
What Should I Do? What Would You Prefer As A Parent?
Reply With Quote
So I dunno. They obviously trust you to care for bub on such a fulltime basis... they must trust your instincts as well. I think as a parent I would appreciate that no one else would parent exactly the same as me anyway, so whilst I might have a gripe here and there about how they've done a few things, deep down it wouldn't worry me too much if I trusted them. Bub will be unsettled to some extent anyway if there is a bit of chopping and changing... and in my books, that needs lots of cuddles... maybe use that as your excuse hehe 
Bookmarks