I would give cuddles when ever he needs, as he probably feels "abandoned" by his mum and needs reasurance he is loved. So I say cuddle away till your heart desires.
I have to say I agree with general trend of this thread. Being that the baby is experiencing a different environment (as in at your place) he will need the cuddles to relax and come to some kind of terms with it, also when he goes back, the reason he he was probably so upset the first time was just having to re settle again in his home, not because you "spoiled "him or anything.
Hope it all works out, I think following your instincts cant be a bad thing.
Cuddles for sure. Being away from his mummy will be hard enough. I agree it is hard to strike a balance between their wishes and yours so I think you should let them know that's how you intend to care for him. If it is really against their wishes they may wish to find someone else to care for him.
So so hard, i hope your sister is ok and is up and about ASAP.
I completely understand bubs need cuddles and i agree at this young age they do need it but if possible i would try and find the middle ground, maybe cuddle to settle but then pop into bed and pat or something once asleep, or if need be cuddle as much as you like at the start but try and draw out the need towards the end.
MIL has always had a habit of not handing grandchildren over once asleep, she just holds them and holds them, after i had been in hospital for surgery it took me forever to get DD1 back to normal (i don't do controlled crying or anything but she WAS the kind of baby who would sook for say a min and then put herself off to sleep) and this didn't help my recovery at all.
GL, do what you feel is right i'm sure in the long run thats all your sister would want and thats why she is leaving bub with you.
its hard to say because our instincts are to nurture them when they need it, but in this case your sister may have reasons, such as her health, not to do it to much. She may not be physically coping with a child who constantly needs to be held. I had a friend who had a very clingy baby and he was like that up until he was about 4yrs old. She couldnt even go to the toilet without him hanging onto her so its not always something they grow out of in the first year or two....sometimes it drags on for years.
First and foremost i would want my rights to decide how to parent my kids be respected and observed. So just consider if you do go contrary to what she's asked, she may be reluctant to ask you next time. She's probably worked really hard to get him to settle without being held, so if you do start picking him up to settle, its going to be more work for her when she's out of hospital and you have to ask if she really needs that at such a time. You could ask your sister what she does in compensation of being carried around...maybe she's found something else that comforts him that he enjoys. If not, maybe you can try something different with him like a comfort teddy or pillow to hold.
I understand your sister's perspective, but I think right now you need to do whatever is going to be easiest on your nephew - no doubt he'll need lots of cuddles and reassurance. If you end up looking after him for some time then once he's a bit more settled in the new arrangmenet you could try other ways to settle and see how you go. You can't actually ruin kids with cuddles and they do learn to do things differently with different people.
Thanks for all your responses ladies - I've also had multiple offers from the girls in WA for carriers, I'm constantly amazed by how lovely the people are on BB!!
You've all pretty much confirmed what I was thinking, I just needed the validation I guess! I'm especially liking the suggestions to give him all the cuddles he wants while he adjust, and then try to draw them out, I think that's what she would be happy with. Although I'm gonna hafta prepare myself that BIL will no doubt abuse me and say I ruined their baby, but I'll know I did the right thing, and at 2am, thats all that counts!
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