What Sort of Mum ...

[fionas]

did you think you would be before you had kids? And did your ideas match the reality?

I'm asking because I often speak to people who say "no-one ever told me ... about sleep deprivation, crying babies etc. etc." whereas I don't think I ever read anything that DIDN'T mention all that negative stuff so I was really dubious about having kids throughout my twenties and early thirties.

I've also never been much of a 'baby' person mainly because I've never really been around them. I thought I would struggle with my daughter until she was old enough to talk and generally be more interesting. But it has all turned out a lot better than I expected and prepared myself for.

What have other people's experiences been?

[Trillian]

I was 17 when my youngest brother was born, so I knew about the lack of sleep and crying etc. Often I would sit up with Mum while she was trying to settle him just so she had someone else to back her up (her DP wasn't much good at the settling part LOL) so I guess that and knowing how demanding babies can be in general prepared me a little. Plus there were a lot of things that we saw other people do with their kids and if we liked it, then we tried it and if it didn't feel *right* we didn't do it. But we were never the type to say "oh we wont do/say that when we have kids" either so I think that helped. I have a friend who tries so hard to not be like her own mother (mother was always more interested in her new boyfriend than the kids and while not abusive as such, was just never there emotionally for them) that she has gone in the total opposite direction and she is the only person who I can truly say has made a 'rod for her own back' with her kids.

I have learnt though that it is so much easier not to head into parenthood with any preconceived ideas of how you would like to parent as you just have to go with what your heart tells you is the right thing to do. That way, if you end up putting a child in bed (or whatever) with you after telling every man and his dog that you would never do it, you don't end up looking silly and putting up with the knowing glances from people who said that you will sing a different tune once the baby is here LOL.

[summerluven]

I didn't have any pre-conceived notions really, so I guess there was nothing to live up to. I knew about the sleep deprivation etc because I read it everywhere and plenty of friends had babies before me, so I had heard a fair bit about the not-so-fun side of motherhood.

I am a fairly easy-going, almost lazy person, and I think that my parenting style is the same. Not to the detriment of the child of course, but if he wakes up and is being hard to resettle, I just get him out of bed. I curse myself for doing it, but I am not surprised that I am doing because I don't have much patience for 'standards' and people telling me 'babies should do this at x age and this at y age".

[Rach75]

I am finding it a lot easy than I thought, gathered ( dont shoot me) I have a very relaxed easy going child (most of the time) I do find myself being a bit of a food nazi etc but every mother does that I suppose

the one thing I find very surprising but something I am very proud of is, I now stand up for myself when it comes to matters concerning Jack I have made it to 13 1/2 mths with only Jase and I giving him a bottle, made it to 12 mths with only us bathing him or giving him any solids, these were important to me, I couldn't b/f so only jase and I feeding him a bottle was and still is a big thing for me, so I am extremely proud to say I have stuck to my guns even with the -- comments onthis issue

all in all I am happy with hwo I become and my parenting style

[~Debbie~]

its pretty much as i expected. Actually, on the whole, probably a little better then i expected. I am lucky that i have an easy baby thou, and also, that i have access to bb so i can read what other peoples have done and tried, and make my own mind up. I see people with kids, and i do think now, i wont be doing that, but, until you are in certain situations, its difficult to know how you will react.

The funniest thing i ever heard anyone saying about motherhood was my sister after she gave birth to her son... she said "there is a conspiracy amongst females... nobody ever said it would hurt so much" i thought wtf - how could you not think it would hurt.