Well, from experience you'll need to tread very very carefully! I have a toddler and a 6 month old and my neighbour made a passing comment to me "I know when your DD goes to bed - she cries and cries and know one comes" I was very upset as thats so not true. I try to not let either of my darlings cry for too long but sometimes it happens. I know you are trying to help and you are right managing a baby and a toddler can be quite tough but be as subtle as possible.