When did your baby/toddler start daycare? What are the advantages/disadvantages?

[Carmen2]

Hi all,

I'm currently a stay at home mom and was debating whether I should sign DD up for daycare since there's a waiting list. I have to admit I feel a little worried because DD is so clingy and am afraid to hear her cry when I have to leave her. However, I've also been writing a list of advantages and disadvantages for going to daycare. What are your thoughts?

[Trillian]

What are your reasons for sending her? are you planning to return to work, or do you think she needs socialising, or do you need a 'break' day so you can do errands etc? If it's not for a work reason, I wouldn't worry about sending her for reasons of socialisation, because that this age they don't need it, nor do they gain anything from it really - children are much much older before they truly start to interact with their peers. If you think it is going to upset her and can already picture her crying when you leave her, then I think you've answered your own question.

[visitor1]

DD1 started when she was 5 months old. This was because i was going back to work 2 days a week.
DD2 started at 8 months along with her sister to give me a break, do business work etc. They both love it. Both seem different children since they started!

[Carmen2]

I'm not working just yet as I'm pregnant with number 2. However, many people have been lecturing me how I should make her more independent by allowing her to socialize with others. At what age do you think she would benefit more from daycare such as doing some activities?

[Chocaholic]

My son is 2 and still not socialising with other kids. Most parents i speak to say about 2 and a half or 3 is when they start to recognise that it is fun to play with other kids.

[krysalyss]

We started DS at 5 months of age because DH and I both work but it is flexible hours so him being in one day really helped us get all of the work done. He really enjoyed it and I think only once cried when we left (about 3 months down the track when he was teething). He eventually went to two days. He found it really stimulating and loved interacting with the kids (he would give the sad ones cuddles and pats on the back etc). Although he is very affectionate he has never been very clingy so I think that helped him. When we started we went quite slowly and I spent time there with him before leaving him there alone. But the major thing was that he went to an awesome centre and bonded so well with the staff. He got to do lots of things there that we don't really do at home. Eg. we do some craft but he would get to every day he was there. Also they helped us to know where he was up to and should be up to for his age. Unfortunately we moved away from that area and his new centre wasn't up to scratch so he no longer goes. We have him on a waiting list for one that seems really good so will see what it is like if he gets in. I don't think you can always go on how happy they are either. DS rarely cries at daycare and where the first daycare always made sure he got what he needed, the second tended to use that as an excuse to forget about him in favour of other kids (eg. he would be left in shoes and jumpers for the whole day even after it got hot or he wouldnt get his bottle).
I really think the main thing is how good the carers and centre are. We considered his previous carers as extended family. He wasn't just safe there. He got what he needed both psychologically and physically. Unless we find that again, I don't think we will be sending him to another centre.

I hope this helps.


Also just about socialising. I think it is true that children dont really play with each other until they are a bit older (I think it is around 3). But socialising is also about them just spending time together, learning to recognise the behaviour, expressions and emotions of other children. These are the precursors of playing well together. I think any supervised situation is good for this though so playgroup, playgrounds, mothers group, kid classes (eg. music, gymbaree) will help encourage these skills.

[Trillian]

have you considered a playgroup or something similar at all? Also gives you a great opportunity to have another outlet for socialising too - not sure if they have anything like that in the States? I think your family are well intentioned and only are thinking of the best for her, but if you feel like you're being pressured to do it then maybe wait a while and see how she goes with her clingyiness etc kwim? You may even want to look into short term care for a few hours once a week or something as your pg progresses to give you a bit of time out and to help you get things down without a little one underfoot.

[sneakysparkle]

Children at that age are supposed to be dependent on their mummies!! Kids don't really start to learn from socialising till they are about 3. Why don't you take her to a playgroup or something similar?
I take my DD to playgroup once a week, and she loves it! She's in a new & fun environment, but she knows I'm there if she needs me. It's good to meet other mums too