Huni, at 9 months old your baby is too young to even know how to show appreciation to you. Hell my 17 year old still rarely shows it.

Being a mum or a parent means that we give ourselves thanklessly over and over again to our children. I know it's hard, no one knows it more than me, well ok, there are others out there that have it harder, but ykwim.

This stage will pass on, and another will begin, will it be better or worse than the last stage, who knows but it will pass through.

There are some days where I wish I could just go away and time to myself, but I know even if I did that all I would be thinking about it my babies.

I agree though, it really does sound like you need an outlet, how about you going to a mum's group or something like that. I find days are harder when I just stay at home with a grumpy sooky baby. Even getting out of the house for a walk with bub in the pram is a nice break. Or when your DH get's home from work go out for a couple of hours, find a hobby, scrapbooking etc, find a local place and go scrap, go to the movies, go do coffee with a gf or 2. Or don't go anywhere and get your DH to take bub out of the house for a while so you can have some quiet me time.

Hugs to you. It does get better.... I'm sure it does