Toddler masterbation

[danniellabella]

I read an interesting article on another parenting website a couple of months ago about toddler masterbation and until I read it I really had no idea that it is actually a common thing because toddlers are discovering their bodies and realise that it feels good.

About 3 or 4 weeks after reading that article I've noticed that DD seems to do it while she's in the bath. She will pant a bit while doing it but I am gently trying to discorage it by saying that her private parts are not for playing with.

I know that at this age its not a sexual thing and from what I've read there is no concern for a toddler becoming sexualised too early, it's a perfectly natural part of growing up and learning about the body.

But I just wanted to know if anyone else has toddlers that do this and what do you do about it?

[Trillian]

Oh he's forever playing trumpet with it! As soon as the nappy is off his hand is on it! The girls never did it much at all, but I think boys are a little more attracted to it because it's out there and they can hold it kwim? I really don't know why they would go so far as to actually call it masturbation though, because by definition they aren't doing it for sexual pleasure and at a young age I don't even think they do it because it feels *good*, it's simply them touching a different part of their body so I don't do anything about it at all - why would I? That would only create more issues by thinking it is somehow wrong for him to touch his own body.

[danniellabella]

I'm not really sure what it's like for boys, but I know that when my Daughter does it she pants a little and appears to like it IYKWIM. I just don't know.

[Trillian]

Does she? I never really paid that much attention to it when my girls did it, but I know DS2 doesn't do anything like that. If she does, it's not something to be concerned about really - OK so it wouldn't be OK at the dinner table LOL, but she too little to understand what was going on if you got her to stop. Are you worried that it might make her grow up too quickly and become sexualised too early if she gets old and decides that she wants to do it because it feels nice? It would be really intersting to read the article if you could copy and paste it though.

[danniellabella]

I'm not sure if I am worried or not, I think I'll just keep an eye on it. I'll find the article and post it.

[sushee]

I think most girls will experiment, though they may not be as open about it as boys, Danni. Masturbation is a completely natural extension of the child exploring their bodies. I have read many different opinions on the subject but the main consensus seems to be that it's probably best not to make them ashamed of it by saying that they shouldn't touch themselves there, as 1) they will anyway, because it's pleasurable and therefore positively reinforcing, and 2) because you don't want to make them guilty about that pleasure, and therefore associate sex with guilt.

Just perhaps let her know as she gets old enough to understand that it's not something she should do in front of others Most kids learn that all on their own anyway. You don't see many kids playing with their bits in public beyond 6 or 7.

[Nettie]

Oh he's forever playing trumpet with it! As soon as the nappy is off his hand is on it!

Same here! I think it's just because he doesn't get much time with it (always in nappies) that it's so alluring! I too wouldn't call it masturbation - he's just exploring. I'm sure he'll get to that point (probably way before I want him too), but I'm certainly going to be careful about how I approach it. I think it's very important to ensure no guilt is associated with the action - just privacy. Too many people have been messed up by making them feel guilty...

No idea about girls though.. I know I read once about a toddler (or maybe a little older??) who would rub herself on the arm of a chair in obvious pleasure, but I don't know what was done about it... sorry Danni - not much help, am I??