why did you have the number of children you have?

[Laranna]

DP & I were just talking about this last week. We both agree that 2 would be good. I think I could definitely handle 3, maybe even 4 if we are in a good financial position. I’m the oldest of 4 and my parents couldn’t afford a lot of the stuff other kids had but at the same time I don’t feel we missed out on anything. I remember lots of great fun times playing games (and also fighting!) with my siblings. DP is the youngest of 3 (he has a brother and a sister).

I think 2 is good because then at least the kids have each other to play with. I think 3 is also good because all 3 can be there for each and it can make for a different group dynamic. After reading everyone’s posts, I also agree with the reasoning to have 3 in case of the loss of one the other 2 can support each other.

However though as we don’t have any yet, I will be happy if I’m able to have just 1 bub!

[Lucy]

I'll be honest and say the reason we have 3 is because I got drunk on New Years Eve 2005, and Lexie was born 9 months later............total oooopsie!

I always only wanted 2. I felt totally and utterly complete at 2. I felt no need, nor any cluckiness for any more at all.

But Lexie was our little surprise and now I cannot imagine life without her. And her birth awakened in me feelings that I never expected.....I know I could go on & on and on having more......I am more clucky now than ever, even though I know I do not want any more children. Go figure?!

[Charlotte91]

For us, we always said we wanted 3.
But, after finding out DD had a birth defect, which occurance is about 1:8000 in Australia, we were devestated knowing that our chances of having another baby with Gastroschisis has skyrocketed to nearly 1:5.
After falling pregnant with this baby, after suffering an early loss, I knew it would be my last. A counted down every hour to my 20w scan, praying that we would see a clear umbilical cord insertion.
This baby is healthy and growing perfectly, but everyday scares me. I'm not emotionally stable enough to carry babies.
My family has suffered through 2 2nd Trimester Stillbirths (the loss of my sister in 1990 and my niece in 2009) and that scares me, too. I don't want to to go through the loss of a child, having come so close to it many times before with DD.

[Claire]

I have a daughter and bubs on the way is a boy. People that I speak to assume that I will now stop at two and are genuinely surprised to hear I want 1-2 more. I'm only 32 this year and feel that after a break of about 4 years, I'd like to try and have one or two more.

I need the break in between for a number of reason; allowing my body to recover is one, this pregnancy has really taken it's toll on my pelvis. Secondly, it's financial - we will buy a house in the near future and in a year I would like to start working to contribute towards to the mortgage or savings if we are not quite ready.

My DH and I have two siblings each and I really love the idea of having children in the house for as long as possible.

[tiggy]

I always wanted four and DH wanted two. The reason for this was that he and I both came from a family with three kids and we both felt that one always missed out. We just assumed that pregnancy and birth would be an easy thing.
I had alot of miscarriages so I never took any pregnancy as a given, each and every baby is so special and unique and our numbers just went out the window...

As it turns out we have five living children, so we still have an odd number. That is a really odd place for me to be. I like everything to be...balanced. LOL

William would have been our forth baby and I felt completely happy with that. After he died, I knew I wanted another but I wasn't sure I could have anymore. I was starting to get used to the idea of just having the three girls when I found out I was pregnant again. I STILL didn't get even numbers because there was another set of twins in there!!! I guess our idea of evens just wasn't meant to be, LOL
We have the two foster boys too, so that brings the number to seven...a far cry from our original plans.
I would love to have one more, that desire to have another baby is so strong (I'm not sure if it's the need for evens or just a need for a baby) but I think seven will be my lucky number... my life is so rich and full with all of them in my life, two, for me, would not have been fulfilling.

[MrsFabuloso]

DH and I both come from families with 3 children, though the gap between me and my bro's is 9 and 10 yrs, so I always felt like an only child. I always wanted a little sister! Because of that,I always wanted 4, but DH only wants 2. We did agree to three, but after having DD DH is now saying 'we'll see', meaning he is leaning towards 2 more than 3. The few weeks after having DD I was convinced she's be an only child!! But, I am now more convinced that I want three rather than 4. Though finances and living situations are a concern to me, especially as we are currently living in a 2br unit!! Hopefully by the time #3 comes (if it comes...) we will have a house and another car, hehehe...I also always wanted to have finished having my bubs by the time I was 30, but since I am 29 in a few weeks,and only one baby down, I don't think that will be happening, unless twins are in store for us??? Maybe we can move those goal posts to 35?!

[MrsFabuloso]

DH and I both come from families with 3 children, though the gap between me and my bro's is 9 and 10 yrs, so I always felt like an only child. I always wanted a little sister! Because of that,I always wanted 4, but DH only wants 2. We did agree to three, but after having DD DH is now saying 'we'll see', meaning he is leaning towards 2 more than 3. The few weeks after having DD I was convinced she's be an only child!! But, I am now more convinced that I want three rather than 4. Though finances and living situations are a concern to me, especially as we are currently living in a 2br unit!! Hopefully by the time #3 comes (if it comes...) we will have a house and another car, hehehe...I also always wanted to have finished having my bubs by the time I was 30, but since I am 29 in a few weeks,and only one baby down, I don't think that will be happening, unless twins are in store for us??? Maybe we can move those goal posts to 35?!

Wow, so funny to look back at this! #3 did come along, I managed to convince DH. We moved and now live in a 5br house and have another car.
I would still love #4, but DH is dead-set against it. There is no convincing him this time!

[RhiChiChi]

I originally wanted a large family, probably four kids. I am one of four (we don't see our half sister though), DH grew up an only child but has 4 half sister and 3 half brothers. He wanted two. When we had trouble conceiving DD, I was happy to just have her but yearned for another child, which has taken a loooong time (well for us anyway), so looks like it will be just the two, although I have though about a third whilst pg atm. I *think* I could convince DH if I really wanted to but financially I don't know how we'd go

[Amity]

I'm still in the same situation. Two beautiful kids, when I always wanted five. Still (if I'm quick) time for three more though

Still in the man-less situation though...

[Trillian]

Divvy

I can't believe that it's been nearly 5 years since this thread was originally posted.

[krysalyss]

This comment isn't designed to be critical so please don't take it that way. DH and I only have and want one. We both work in the field of environmental protection and feel there are enough people in the world. This may sound strange to other people but it is part of our total philosophy. I love being a mum though - even more than I thought I would.

[katkins]

when Dh and I got together, we spoke about this. We both agreed on 2 maybe 3. He'd bragged he wanted 12 and I told him after 2 he could carry and birth them! I was sticking to 2. Well Kat arrived and I was pg again! Boy was that a shock. I had jess and I never stopped longing for more. I feel so completely in love with my kids and pregnancy and children in general that it actually worries me. I am now the one joking about 12! I hear so many ppl say they just knew their family was complete and they wanted no more. I am wondering if I will ever get to that stage because even seeing preg women makes me long to be pg again (now I am, I still want more and more, call me crazy). Dh has agreed we can have more in a few yrs (once this one is a few yrs old min). I feel I'd be happy being pg for the rest of my reproductive life. hehe. I love children and having fun and playing silly games and seeing life thru their eyes.... I don't know when I will stop, but it's comforting to think that maybe someday I will feel the family is complete and not long so much for more children and pgcy. Don't get me wrong, I love the kids I have now with all my heart. They are my world (and their dad too), but I would like more so I guess we'll see how things go after 3 is here as to whether we'll have more or not. We are open to discussion hehe

[Amity]

I've always wanted five.

I've got two.

I guess that means three more....

Just gotta find the right man...

[bettyboop]

i always wanted 4 to me 3 seems a strange number, i had 4 , now i have remarried and my DH has no children so i would like 1 or 2 more just praying that my clock is still ticking.

[mbear]

Whilst our #3 was an oopsie too, i always intended to have 3 children. Just not this soon....
In saying that, i know 3 is our number. I feel happy with 3. I feel ready to get rid of my maternity clothes, i feel ready to 'toss' the bassinett when this baby outgrows it, i feel ready to pack the 0000 size clothing away for good....i never felt that after DD#1 or DD#2.
Like Tracey said......its time to enjoy these little people, and get on with life - for me anyway. Out of the last 5 years ive been pregnant or breastfeeding for 4 of them. I want to take the girls on holidays, i want to go out with my DH for norty weekends...i want to wear sexy bras again........i want to enjoy my family.

Lucy - Your hilarious......!! i dont think we ever 'stop' being clucky......i know when im 40, 50 i will still look at a newborn/preg lady and go gagaga....i think its just in our makeup.....

[~Jo~]

With my XP I had my two dds...both oopsies but soooo wanted. My DH married into a family package and at the time we decided on just one more. We had Olivia and then decided that it was it...he had the snip but then the desire for more came back and wouldnt let go!!!!Sammy was born after the reversal and we felt so blessed. I couldnt have predicted to ever be the mum of four...life certainly throws curveballs!

Jo

[Junglemum]

We would love loads of kids, i often wish i was born a couple of generations ago!
If the world could sustain it and money wasn't an issue, my ideal number would be 5. I think an odd number is good, i am one of three and although it is true that one is often left out, an odd number can teach kids about compromise, sharing, negotiating etc.
I read in a book that if we keep populating at the same rate, in a certain amount of years(Maybe 50, can't quite remember!) we would need 2 worlds to sustain us. This makes me worry about having kids, and the world they will be left to deal with.
So for that reason, as well as the expense, we are planning on 3. Having said that, i havn't popped the first one out yet, so i may change my mind!
I found it really interesting reading peoples thoughts on this, good topic!

[Annikas_Mamma]

Annika is, and most likely will remain, an only child. After miscarrying before having her, I was a bundle of nerves during my pregnancy. She is also a very unsettled/fussy baby, who had extreme reflux, and many chiropractic problems. I just don't know if I would want to risk putting another child through the pain that Annika went through. I also love spending one on one time with her, and although I wholeheartedly admire those mothers than can manage two, I just don't think it's for me!