[QUOTE=amberj;1747608]I do modified CC, I call it "whinge it out" rather than cry it out. I let DS whinge and carry on like a pork chop when I think its necessary, but if he gets into serious crying or what I call a "state" then I get him up, calm him down and we try again. My reasoning behind this is that once he crosses a certain line, even if he did fall asleep, he hasn't actually learned to settle himself. He's only worn himself out from bawling and/or given up, neither of which really get you anywhere. But as long as he's just whinging or mildly crying, I will let him go if its a habit I really need to break (like waking at midnight for no real reason, grr). Only you can know where the line is for you and your LO- what constitutes whinging and what constitutes serious crying.
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I do a similat thing.
Once she starts to cross that line, i go in not make eye contact, put her back in the right position in her her bed standing there for about 30 sec touching her then walk out of the room. Through the whole process i don't talk to her. It takes some perserverance (sp?)and i could be up 4 or 5 times in a space of 15 mins but over time she is learning that we are still here, and everything is ok and she can go back to sleep.
I also leave a bottle of water in her cot with her. Sometimes she just finds that has some the drink and goes back to sleep without us going in. Shes just thirsty not actually hungry.
I'm working 3 days a week also, and while i'm finding this a little draining at the moment, its working so hopefully in another week or so she'll be sleeping longer
I am also in the amberj and jennjorja camp and I would have written advice for you pretty much word for word.
As much as I believe in gentle parenting, my attempts to be fully gentle with our sleep settling began to turn into a really nightmarish situation over the course of a few months. I found that the more I settled with cuddles, bf, rocking etc the more DD became dependent on it to the detriment of both of our sleep. DD ended up waking more and more needing me to resettle.I know what you mean by saying "To begin with it wasn't a problem for me but now..." as this is exactly how I felt too. Like you, I don't believe in CC but I got to the point of needing to try anything as I was absolutely losing my sanity. (And I didn't even have to go back to work). I was lucky in that the sleep school I attended were not necessarily CC advocates so I really benefited from their advice.
I really try to pay attention to the different types of crying. AmberJ and Jennjorja describe it well as winging vs crying. Like those lovely ladies, I keep going in to settle my DD when she is upset to let her know I am there, can hear her, understand her needs but that she still needs to go to sleep. I make our exchanges very simple, non-stimulating events and simple re-establish that she should lie down and go to sleep. I use a cue word, "shhh, sleepy time my girl" and just go in as often as needed. If she gets too upset, I will sit in the room with her. This really worked for me and I went from a really terrible sleep pattern to a real solution. These days, if she is unsettled (Often due to teething) I can use the sleep cue and one or two settles and she gets the drift really quickly.
The biggest bit of advice I would offer though is consistency. When we made an effort to sort out DDs sleep, I had to commit to a week of pretty rough nights. I was really solid in the decision to fix this up, was as calm as I could possibly be and kept the knowledge that when we sorted this out it would all be easier. I would get out of bed when she woke in the night, put the kettle on to make myself comfortable, the internet or tv on to distract me and just focused on calmly resettling DD. This way I was not slipping back into bed between settles and gnashing my teeth every time she stirred. I just kept up the pattern.
walk in saying shhhh, sleepy time my girl
place DD back down in her cot with comfort blanket
no eye contact but continuing to say sleep cue quietly
pat on back for a sec
walk straight out again
repeat every few minutes or when she got worked up
With the tea and net I coped more easily.
It did take a few nights... but... even in the first night I saw signs that she 'got' what was going on. By the third night we were going really well.
Everyone's situations are a little different but I hope that you can find something that helps here. If you have any more questions please let me know.... I remember how bad it can be with sleep deprivation at this age so I hope I can help.
All I want to say is that I am SOOOO on the whinge it out-train, you have no idea. I'm kicking myself for not doing this to dd.
Hun do this NOW, while she is small, in a cot and can't get out of bed. I am currently suffering my butt off with a 2 year old that don't go to sleep on her own, needs her dad (or mom) to lay next to her to get her to sleep (she even had us both in bed with her last night, granted she is sick, but I saw the worst in it) and she still gets up in the night to come and get into bed with us. We don't mind the co-sleeping, but I would LOVE for her to be able to go to sleep on her own (no tanties, crying and yelling) and STAY in her bed till morning. *sigh*
So hun, if you need to do a bit of controlled controlled crying, do it NOW. It does not get better, it gets worse. It does not make you a bad mother!!!
I did it much earlier than my friends who went on to have terrible troubles. I recomend sooner rather than later.
I do the whole routine: tea, play, bath, book, bottle, cuddle, goodnight everyone, bed. I always rub her tum a few times and say they same thing "good night darling, have a good sleep" then turn and walk out without looking back.
If we are out in the evening we still do bottle, cuddle, goodnight everyone, bed. That seems to be enough.
Sometimes there are nights when DD is teething or overtired and gets upset with the idea. She will stand up in her cot before I even get out the room, there are tears and pleading to be picked up. I just stay calm, lay her down repeatedly till she stays there long enough to do the tummy rub and say my line. I have had nights when I've done it 20 times before she gives in. The key is to be consistant and calm. The calm bit I learned from experience on bad nights when I got cranky: it was much worse.
Hope things improve quickly for you!!!! let us know how you go.
sooner than later is the best option
it only turns into a nightmare as they get older whinge it out call it what you like (controlled crying) it does work thats why all the sleeping schools use the same method its the old saying sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind, not thats its cruel anyway it works
CIO and letting a bub grizzle is totaaaaalllly different!
I had many friends and a few AP'ers who heard DS grizzle when I put him down, I would shoosh him and stroke his head (he was fully wrapped, plugged and classical mobile playing) and walk out when he was quiet. He would grizzle 2 minutes at the most, unless it was a "bad day" and then I'd go back in and do it all again. If he was obviously upset I'd pick him up and rock him till he settled (not asleep) then put him back in the cot and try again. The thing is I tried cuddle/rock/hold/feed to sleep and it went on for 3 hours, with the settle to sleep (as I like to call it rather than Whinge it out ) he would be asleep in at most 25 mins at least 5 mins. Every baby is different, some babies NEED close attachment, some babies need their own space. My very close gf had a wee lad who needed cuddles and rocks and everything, and now she has a wee lass who has practically put herself to sleep bar a few whinges and bad nights since she was born.
The most important thing IMO for a child younger than 8 months is for them to know that they are secure and that you are there for them when they need you. Once they are reassured of this in most cases they are ok I say most coz I know quite a few bubbies who don't sleep well till 2 and up. And you know your child, their cues and what they need.
Thanks everyone for you support and information, i tried it tonight and so far so good, i gave him a BF we had a snuggle on the couch took him in to bed laid him down gave him his wrap and dummy and a kiss stroked his forehead a few times told him I loved him and to sleep well and i walked out. As i expected he started to cry but not as bad as i thought he would he cried for about 10 mins at one point i was going to back in and he started to slow down and get quieter but within ten minutes he was alseep, so fingers crossed it will improve.
Can anyone tell me was the second night worse because bub knew what was happening?
So glad for you Kimmy, that is fantastic! It is such a beautiful thing when you can help them settle reasonably calmly and it sounds like you got it exactly right tonight.
With regards to your question, as Niliac said, each child is different. I love the post that Niliac wrote earlier, she has explained things really really well . For us it got easier each night as DD seemed to realise what was going on and went with it however some babies certainly will try to fight it and may make things more challenging as they work it out. (You can try to look on the bright side.... this means that you have a bright spark of a DS if he has worked out what is happening!!)
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) he would be asleep in at most 25 mins at least 5 mins. Every baby is different, some babies NEED close attachment, some babies need their own space. My very close gf had a wee lad who needed cuddles and rocks and everything, and now she has a wee lass who has practically put herself to sleep bar a few whinges and bad nights since she was born.
I say most coz I know quite a few bubbies who don't sleep well till 2 and up. And you know your child, their cues and what they need.
I hope for your sake he's "trained" then 
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