I am also in the amberj and jennjorja camp and I would have written advice for you pretty much word for word.

As much as I believe in gentle parenting, my attempts to be fully gentle with our sleep settling began to turn into a really nightmarish situation over the course of a few months. I found that the more I settled with cuddles, bf, rocking etc the more DD became dependent on it to the detriment of both of our sleep. DD ended up waking more and more needing me to resettle.I know what you mean by saying "To begin with it wasn't a problem for me but now..." as this is exactly how I felt too. Like you, I don't believe in CC but I got to the point of needing to try anything as I was absolutely losing my sanity. (And I didn't even have to go back to work). I was lucky in that the sleep school I attended were not necessarily CC advocates so I really benefited from their advice.

I really try to pay attention to the different types of crying. AmberJ and Jennjorja describe it well as winging vs crying. Like those lovely ladies, I keep going in to settle my DD when she is upset to let her know I am there, can hear her, understand her needs but that she still needs to go to sleep. I make our exchanges very simple, non-stimulating events and simple re-establish that she should lie down and go to sleep. I use a cue word, "shhh, sleepy time my girl" and just go in as often as needed. If she gets too upset, I will sit in the room with her. This really worked for me and I went from a really terrible sleep pattern to a real solution. These days, if she is unsettled (Often due to teething) I can use the sleep cue and one or two settles and she gets the drift really quickly.

The biggest bit of advice I would offer though is consistency. When we made an effort to sort out DDs sleep, I had to commit to a week of pretty rough nights. I was really solid in the decision to fix this up, was as calm as I could possibly be and kept the knowledge that when we sorted this out it would all be easier. I would get out of bed when she woke in the night, put the kettle on to make myself comfortable, the internet or tv on to distract me and just focused on calmly resettling DD. This way I was not slipping back into bed between settles and gnashing my teeth every time she stirred. I just kept up the pattern.
  • walk in saying shhhh, sleepy time my girl
  • place DD back down in her cot with comfort blanket
  • no eye contact but continuing to say sleep cue quietly
  • pat on back for a sec
  • walk straight out again
  • repeat every few minutes or when she got worked up


With the tea and net I coped more easily.

It did take a few nights... but... even in the first night I saw signs that she 'got' what was going on. By the third night we were going really well.

Everyone's situations are a little different but I hope that you can find something that helps here. If you have any more questions please let me know.... I remember how bad it can be with sleep deprivation at this age so I hope I can help.