It sounds to me that what you need is to set up a trust fund with you as the trustee. The trust can then dispense money for something like a house, pay bills when they become due and you can also set up regular payments for "pocket money". It has better security over simply a bank account in her name but to which you are both signatories because the advantage is that technically it would no longer be her money. However, it has the disadvantage that it is technically no longer her money so she may not agree to it. There are lots of legalities to it all though, so you really need to go and see a lawyer Calluna - with your mum. There is no point going into any of this if she isn't going to be on board. You will have absolutely no chance of having her declared mentally incompetent. Even families with seriously mentally incompetent people still have enormous problems getting their loved one declared incompetent so they can step in, and from what you've said, your mum is just financially very immature.
Ahhhh Calluna - this sounds like a very tricky situation - hats off to you for trying to help your mum even though she sounds like she's hopeless at helping herself.
Rather than seeing a lawyer, maybe see a financial planner yourself first without your mum and see what options there are. I agree that the first priority should be buying a house then ask them what arrangements could be made to pay your mum an allowance from the money that is left with the remainder being put into a high interest account or similar where she can't easily get to it. Or straight into her super (not sure whether she's at an age where she can access it yet).
Then you can sit down with your mum, set a budget for the house/any furniture, decide what she needs to live on week to week and how much should be put into savings/super.
I did think about a trust fund. Its just hard. I dont know how to put it to her without making her feel like I think she is incapable. But, she is incapable.
I guess I just wanted to have as much info as I could before I approach her with it. Make sure Im doing the right things.
I dont want to hurt her but I dont know how else to help her.
Its not just financial, its in every way. She is immature in every way. She has very limited ability to be logical and reasonable. She cant understand why everyone else doesnt see the world the way she does and assumes everyone knows and sees the same things she does. She has things she obsesses about. Paris. Titanic. Acting and actors. Piano. Very set views on what is acceptable and what is not, which would be fine except that it includes things like centrelink being firmly in the not catagory. She hasnt evolved with the rest of society, views change, social rules change, language, fashions, etc. She is living 30 years in the past. Im just focusing on the financial now because it is the most pressing thing.
I will still suggest EPOA, for later down the track, from a health persective. Her mum (my Gran) had altzhiemers. If my mother develops it too she will need an advocate.
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