thread: So, DP wants to declare bankruptcy..

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Sep 2006
    the mulberry bush
    895

    i think it would depend what situation you are in... do you own your own home or are you renting? can you see yourself being able to pay off the debt or is completely out of reality? do you plan to go overseas, will you ever need to get credit again in your lifetime? declaring bankruptcy, from what i understand, means that your name will go on a national database that is a public record that can be accessed by any person at any time, your name is on this indefinitely... i also think there are limitations on whether you can leave the country while bankrupt.

    i wouldn't enter into it lightly and would try to get some professional advice before making any decisions...

    i think if it were me and it was a few thousand dollars i would work on paying it off rather than doing something so drastic as declaring bankruptcy, which will have implications for years to come. of course if there is no way of paying it back then declaring bankruptcy could be a good soltution.

    good luck.

  2. #2

    Jul 2009
    Australia
    5,102

    I told him he should go see a financial advisor and get their opinion. But DP's arguement last night was he is already insolvent so his credit rating is screwed and we couldn't buy a house or go overseas anyways. I just want him to be happy i guess. It just makes me mad that he feels like he cant talk to me about our money situation. He is always trying to be the provider and doesn't like worrying me but it worries me alot more when he breaks down because he is so stressed. Its really not something we will think about lightly. We are both still young. And if it does mean we can get married and start our family i will do it.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    Rural NSW
    491

    You need to speak to a financial advisor.

    I do know that bankruptcy stays with you for 7 years and sometimes longer.

    It can effect you ability to get insurance, loans, phones basically everything.

    Can he call Fox Symes and discuss this with them?

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2005
    Blue Mountains
    5,086

    The Fox Symes site has a lot of info on bankruptcy. It's not something to just do as a quick fix that's for sure.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jun 2008
    Tassie
    2,567

    just remember that if you own a car or anything of value, it can be taken and sold from under you to pay off some of your debts.

    I personally wouldn't. There has to be other ways. What about tax. you said you were working. What about selling as much as you can to pay off as much as you can, then organise with FS to deal with the rest. Can any family help out?

    There MUST be another way hun.

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    May 2005
    in the national capital
    1,682

    How would you feel if someone owed you money and declared bankruptcy because they didn't have the guts to work hard and repay it?

    Shoot me for saying it but I think that declaring bankruptcy in your situation is a total cop out and really really selfish.

    You will have trouble getting a mortgage, renting, buying goods on payment plans, getting a loan for a car, getting some jobs, connecting to services like electricity and home phone. Don't just think about what you are doing now - imagine where you want to be in 5 years time and ask yourself if you will have wanted to do any of those things. Declaring bankruptcy is a major step and not to be entered into lightly. It also sounds to me like it won't actually solve the problem - your DP clearly has money management issues. Lifeline offers financial counselling and so do other organisations - I think that it would be a really really good idea if he went to something like that.

    Here are some other options (taking into account that I don't know your exact circumstances so some may not be relevant:
    Contact everyone you own money to and work out payment plans with them.
    You can get a new job
    He can get a second job
    Cancel your mobile phone plans and go to prepaid (and only use it in emergencies)
    Move into cheaper accomodation - a single room in a share house is cheaper than living just the two of you - or move in with relatives
    Make you lunch before you go to work every day rather than buying it (a loaf of bread and block of cheese and 5 apples cost $5 for a week rather than double that every day)
    sell your car and catch public transport (although I know this can be hard in some parts of Canberra)
    Go trough your wardrobe and sell 10 items each on ebay
    Cancel your pay TV
    Stop buying grog
    Don't go to the movies - stay home and watch whatever is on
    Every time you go to spend money on anything, ask yourself if you really need it

    Also, I don't want to sound and harsher that I already have - but if you are having trouble managing your finances now I am not sure that you should be thinking about TTCing. I really think that this is something that you have to sort out and put behind you before you start thinking about having children.

    I really do wish you luck - money troubles in never easy - what makes the difference is how you respond to them.

  7. #7

    Jul 2009
    Australia
    5,102

    Thanks ladies

    You are all right! and i totally agree that he is just running away!!!. $3000 is only what he has told me, he has been known to lie and cover up things..

    When he gets home which should be in about an hour i am going to get him to call each and every person he owes money to and work out a payment plan, i will sit next to him if i have to! i am beyond angry with him. I told him, well warned him if he EVER got himself into debt that i would leave him, i know its unfair on him seeing as i am the one without a job, but it seems like he stopped paying them long before i lost my job

    I think i have been too patient with him, for crying out loud he is older than me which is supposed to make him more mature but it seems like i have to pick up after him all the time. I haven't told my mother yet oh boy she would have a field day with him.

  8. #8
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    May 2007
    Brisbane
    5,310

    Don't make any decisions before you talk to every single person you owe money to. Don't assume they won't take $x or whatever you have to offer them. TALK to them (or get your partner to talk to them), be straight up tell them the truth, and try to work something out.

    Trust me, they DON'T want you to go bankrupt, because they won't get their money, so if you tell them you can afford so much per whatever, a lot of people will work with you to find an amount that is manageable.

    Honestly, you'll be ruining your future, not starting it. I see you have PCOS. What happens if you need IVF, and need to get a loan or something to be able to afford it? Declaring bankruptcy will make that impossible for at least 7 years.

    Muppity has some great suggestions. I hope you can take that on, and work your way out of the financial troubles.

    AND: BUDGET BUDGET BUDGET... don't live week to week, know EXACTLY what is in your account every single day and what it is for. That'll hopefully help stop unnecessary spending, if you know that each dollar has a place to be.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    outer South East Melbourne
    2,881

    Whatever you end up doing you need to take charge of the household finances. Some people can't be trusted with paying bills & it sounds like your partner is one of them. He needs to avoid bankruptcy if he can as it follows you for years.

  10. #10
    DoubleK Guest

    i would definitely speak to a financial councillor. THEY will get hold of your credit history, and THEY can also contact all of the people you owe money to, and THEY can negotiate a payment plan or whatever it may be.

    ive been there and done it myself. i bought a car ($20,000 loan) then had an accident (no insurance, $13,000) i was pregnant, so not working or looking for work at the time. my only option was to go bankrupt. i would never be able to pay all that money back!

    for $3000 i would definitely see what other options there are!

  11. #11
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2008
    3,132

    finances can be such an emotional issue for people and very scary too. I think you have some great advice on here already. The only thing that I wanted to add is that even though you only have a 4 year mark on your credit rating and no loans for 7 years, most loan applications ask you if you have ever been bankrupt and that will be with you for life.

    The other thing is that if your DP is insistent on declaring bankruptcy - don't let him declare it in your name. If you have joint loans with him, talk to the people you owe money to yourself about what you can do. If you don't have joint loans with him and he wants to declare bankruptcy, just make sure he leaves you out of it. Don't let him mess with your credit rating. You have a choice here because he can only make decisions for himself and his own finances. He can't drag you into it as well, unless you let him as you have to sign all the paperwork yourself to be included.

    I really hope that you can work something out. I agree with Leasha - make a budget and stick to it. It might mean that you have to take charge of the finances for a while and not rely on DP to do it. You may have to allocate him $20 a week or something as spending money (if there is room for it in the budget and after all your overdue fees are paid).

    There are also other options - there is a clause for accessing super ahead of time if you are suffering severe financial hardship. You will have to meet a strict criteria to do it and I would suggest you also don't enter into that lightly either as it could affect your retirement dramatically, but be aware that it is there and you can contact his Super fund to see what their policy is and how you go about it. See what you can work out without it, but know that there is also that option.

    Hope all that helps and good luck with everything.

  12. #12
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2008
    3,132

    Here is the link about severe financial hardship from FIDO - Early release of superannuation funds - Australian Securities and Investments Commission

    There is also a link in there about where to access free financial counselling which you may also find useful.

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    On the other side of this screen!!!
    11,129

    **Warning Bells**

    You need to get to the bottom of the problem. Ask why he was acting like everything's ok when all along it has not been. What is he hiding...where is the money going? What compulsive behaviour have the $$ been spent on...is it just bad budgeting or is there an underlying problem? Drink, drugs, online gaming, gambling, compulsive spending, what else is going on??? If you don't address the reason why the 3K has gotten out of control you won't be able to address the rest of the debt either.