What would you do?

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I guess we underestimated what it would take to do Uni, whist having a family. I told him I would go back full time, again dead against it. He reckons child care would kill us $160 per day for 2 kids, not to mention I would feel like I had done wrong by my kids I get so stressed about this kind of stuff...being pregnant doesn't help the emotions ;(

So, he's telling you how you will feel? Not letting you have a say. He's just saying no, I am doing this, working full time and studying part time, you are not allowed to go full time as you will regret it.

Woo. No option to do full-time/two jobs until the baby is here then drop down again?

I worked full-time. Do I regret this? Hell no. I fed my son. He was loved and cared for by other people, but it's great that other people love him and care for him. I kept a roof over his head and food on the table. That is far more important than staying in a cold house because we can't afford to run the heating, not eating lunch in the week and worrying that we can't even afford clothes for when he grows.

Yes, you can regret things. But doing your best by your children, even if it isn't what you initially wanted to be for the best? No. And don't let anyone else ever tell you what you will feel. Not even me. I just wanted to offer another perspective.

[Blondie]

I appreciate that. And I can understand your view on things. I think my husband is a bit old school with the way he views things...I love him to death but he doesn't lift a finger around the house I do all the housework, cooking and looking after our Son. He brings in the money. I work 3 days for a bit of extra money, to give DS some socialisation at Kindy and because I love my job. I think I would be really devastated if I had to give it up. I honestly think that he sees it like if I work full time, stuff will get left and I'll be depressed having to leave DS. I admit it would be hard to leave my Son but if it came down to putting food on the table I would do anything. I would never judge other people's choices in how they do things....honestly, people like a good friend of mine are better parents because they work full time. She loves her children but she is devoted to her job in medicine and it's her life, and just because we have children, doesn't mean we should give up on our own lives.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

So, if you work full-time he still won't lift a finger around the house? Yeah, I can see how it may end up too much for you. My DH grew up with a dad like that and it has been tough sometimes getting him to pull his weight sometimes; me working a 60-hour week, including some 14-hour days (two jobs), soon made things change. He even does stuff now I'm unemployed, which is good for DS to see, although I do feel a bit guilty that I'm not always the perfect housewife.

Do you want to work a bit more for a short time? Could you find an evening job/work from home job? What do you want, not what does your DH want?

[chody47]

Haha Blondie - you need to train your DH lol!

[Blondie]

Yeah he pretty much does nothing inside the house, he just doesn't notice things. Like I could leave the bin in plain sight and he would walk past it, laziness who knows but god it can be irritating. He'll mow and wash the car but if he drags dirt through the house, that's my problem I also remember being heavily pregnant with DS and having to do grocery shopping on my own because he was "tired"

I might still ask work if they can find something for me for Monday and Tuesday - just for a bit of extra cash but I guess it would depend on how often they needed it, ie. maybe an extra 2 days a fortnight might work the trick. Working or a project means you bill the customer and they can be strict at times on what is/isn't allowed.

Haha! Tell me about it Chody! I tried denying things eherm but that didn't seem to work and then I tried the opposite, and that didn't seem to work either, he got suspicious!