Which would you choose - the 'best' school (at a cost) or a better lifestyle?

[AnyDream]

But I guess there is an inherent relationship between money and free time if the number of hours you work is the key factor in how much you're able to increase your earning power.

[Amity]

For me, I'm choosing a fabulous (out of area enrollment) local government school for primary, but my children will go to private secondary schools.

I will take three jobs, cash in my super and even sell my house if necessary to fund their private secondary schooling.

This is how strongly I believe in private secondary schools.

I live in Melbourne and I believe that has a huge influence on whether or not private schools are necessary.

I'm in my mid 30s and still get asked what school I went to. It still influences people's perceptions of me as a person. Sure it shouldn't be that way, but it is.

And that's my personal choice. I'm going to have to find $50K per annum (after tax) to fund the private schooling. I'm single, but lucky enough to (probably) earn enough to make it happen. Their father has already indicated he will not be contributing at all to private school fees.

So I'll be sacrificing lifestyle for secondary schooling. I probably wouldn't do it for primary though. Again that's choice - in primary years I'd choose lifestyle because I can teach them more at home.

[nothing2lose]

I have always believed that education is one of the few things that no one can ever take away from you.

I think we should try to provide the best education we can for our kids.

That's not to say that private is necessarily "the best".

[MamaPan]

I am the same as Divvy in how i feel about the importance of it (and I am also in melb but didnt grow up here) - and my mum was a single mum who put me through a private school with a lot of hard work and I now realise juggling!
I think it depends on the school... and the kids and the family and friends...
there are so many reasons for me choosing the school i did...
my boys will go from kinder just bc i love the school and the community and the philosophy... it may mean we miss out on some things as a family but this is really important to me. that said, i have a good income and so does dh so we can still do holidays etc too (i think, at the moment not but this is a tough time for us) - but when i think of the fees it does make me think harder about it.
I live opposite a great public school and i see the benefits of that too (all friends living 5 mins away, local community etc) - but this has been the right choice for us.
So for my famuily i would choose the school but there are lots of factors that come into that for each family.

[wysiwyg]

Is all interesting - not being from Melbourne but living here now I suppose my views might change overtime on the importance of a particular school. Here or the UK have never been asked about what school went to, University yes but school no - I would think it also very much depends on your profession - and can see in yours Divvy that it probably comes up more than in many others.

[Heaven]

B. I would always choose more Mummy time, I think that's more important.

[grub17]

to me it sounds like you'v answered your own question. You obviously want them to go to the steiner school and your second response seemed very heavy on jusitfying why. I do this when huge amounts of money are involved... like i need to make it clear to myself that it's 'worth it'.
But personally, to me it sounds like you are actually seeking approval to spend that money and make that sacrifice.
Sorry if i'm wwayy off the mark tho! (unbelievably that does actually happen to me! lol).
At the end of the day, only you can answer your question because what i'm comfortable with may not suit your lifestyle etc I think there's great pros and cons to each solution.
Good luck in making the decision!

[Santosha]

Grub - well, sorta! I was leaning toward A and I guess, because of that, I was expecting answers that affirmed that decision because it makes sense in MY head. More anticipating a certain response than actually seeking it. The reason I put it out here is because I did want to hear opinions on both sides, as I'm well aware that, particularly without actually experiencing these options yet, I have a very narrow view which is strongly colored by my own experience of school.

My second response was purely to explain my current leanings... but like I've said, I've been given a whole lore more material for my inner musings now!

I think for now, I'm going to hedge our bets and just enroll them, with the view to seeing how we're going financially (and aspirationally) in a couple of years. I'll also look into our other local options to see if I can find something that might fit the balance between affordability and ideals.

Div, yep, I've been asked that quite a bit too. But I resent it. Yes, I went to one of 'those' schools. But I was miserable. I guess, because I now live and work largely amongst people who went to the local public school, I am conscious of being seen as a snob or somehow elitist because of my schooling. Might be just an old chip on my shoulder though... I was a bit of a leftie rebel at school and coped with the whole thing by deriding it!

[Beach Mama]

Not sure where you are in Melbourne but might pay to look far and wide for a govt school such as a Montessori based stream (there is one in Mitcham for eg.) or a school that has a more wholistic approach to education, with play and inquiry based focus rather than traditional methods. I am a govt. primary teacher, and I believe in the public system but I also see gaps in the mainstream public system but there are schools that do it super well. We are going to look into other options for secondary, as others mentioned I would rather be home more than working during their primary years but depending where we are living will look at private/independent for secondary.

[Astrid]

I live in Melbourne and I believe that has a huge influence on whether or not private schools are necessary.

I'm in my mid 30s and still get asked what school I went to. It still influences people's perceptions of me as a person. Sure it shouldn't be that way, but it is.

Yes, that was something I noticed in Melbourne. Even before having children, I was told that if and when I did have children, I would HAVE to send them to a private school, otherwise I would not get promotions. Ridiculous really and one of the many factors why I chose to turn my back on a professional career.

Thankfully with the move, the pressure to go private is much less, if anything the only ones who care about private down here, are not people who I tend to be friends with. Oh and MIL, but that needs a thread to itself

[Ginger]

i think it also depends on the quality of the individual schools you would choose for option B too. would you be sending them to a government secondary school if you send them public for primary, or what would your options be for year 7?
so much to think about!
we have been tossing and turning over a similar decision (not over a steiner school though) and have finally come up with a solution that we are happy with. its a big decision!

[Phteven]

Have you looked into the Walker learning approach? It is more evidence based than Steiner and an increasing number of schools are adopting it.

[fionas]

It's a tricky one that's for sure. My approach is obviously based on my own background. I went to public schools and lived in a small community where most people were blue collar workers. No-one had aspirations and the teachers certainly didn't have any aspirations for their pupils. I was one of only five out of 300 pupils who went to university. When I was at university it dawned on me that my fellow undergraduates weren't any smarter than the kids I went to school with, just their expectations had been different growing up. The more I read, the more I truly believe that. If anyone's interested, google John Fleming - he's worked wonders in 'deprived' schools as well as private schools.

As much as I will instill in my girls that they can do or be anything they want, their community, schooling and peers will play a part in that. DP is a train driver, I was a middle manager so their aspirations from looking at their parents will not be super high. I still battle feelings that I'm not good enough to do a particular job. Logically, I know that I am. I know that I'm smart and capable but the underlying feelings of not being good enough are really hard to budge and they're hard-wired into me from my background. Our DDs will not in all likelihood mix with high-flyers in their local community. I think it would be beneficial to them to mix with kids of high achievers at school so they understand that 'those' people are no different to them. So on that basis, I am leaning to private school for their secondary schooling depending on what their interests are.

I think I've found one that parallels the ethos that I will be instilling in my girls which is, you are as good as anyone but better than no-one. Unfortunately, it's in Bendigo which is 70km away. If I truly believe that's the best school for them then we will move there. We are pretty secure financially but if push came to shove, I'd take a loan to pay the fees.

[fionas]

and by the way, I will in no way 'pushing' my girls to be high achievers, or what society deems to be a high achiever. If DD1 wants to be a builder then I will be as happy as Larry if it makes her happy. I don't want her to be a builder who actually deep down wants to be a doctor or a lawyer but thought she wasn't good enough, if that makes sense.

[LuluHB]

Divvy's point about where you went to school being important is relevant here as well. I went to public school but worked in a profession that was mostly filled with ex private school and mixed with other professions who were likewise. There is an enormous benefit to being "an old Hale Boy" or "a St Hilda's Girl". Enormous. I agree it is wrong, but that's the way it is and I don't see it changing any time soon so that was certainly a factor for me in choosing a private school education for my kids - benefits of the here and now education but also benefits for their career down the track. Like fionas, I want my children to choose whatever career will make them happy, but I want them to have as many options to choose from as possible.

Were we living in our old area (affluent, inner city) they would be going to public school for primary and then private for high school. That's not an option here so they're private all the way. We made the move to our current area as a lifestyle choice though, so I guess we have the best of both worlds.

[Santosha]

Wow, thanks Onyx. I just googled Walker Learning. Looks very well -rounded and covers some of the social and emotional bases that I feel are missing from mainstream curriculum. Will have to keep reading and investigating this one of course, but on first glance, it is appealing.

AND... would you know it?! Our local public school is one of the schools implementing the approach!

[MamaPan]

Great Santosha - you have a few great options
What Fionas said is a lot of the reasons my mum chose my school and i see it playing out with my school friends now too. this is a big swayer for me in choosing the schools for my boys too

[Beach Mama]

Walker method is great! Lots of schools are going play and inquiry based now which is awesome! Glad you have one local!