Which would you choose - the 'best' school (at a cost) or a better lifestyle?

[Heaven]

B. I would always choose more Mummy time, I think that's more important.

[grub17]

to me it sounds like you'v answered your own question. You obviously want them to go to the steiner school and your second response seemed very heavy on jusitfying why. I do this when huge amounts of money are involved... like i need to make it clear to myself that it's 'worth it'.
But personally, to me it sounds like you are actually seeking approval to spend that money and make that sacrifice.
Sorry if i'm wwayy off the mark tho! (unbelievably that does actually happen to me! lol).
At the end of the day, only you can answer your question because what i'm comfortable with may not suit your lifestyle etc I think there's great pros and cons to each solution.
Good luck in making the decision!

[Astrid]

I live in Melbourne and I believe that has a huge influence on whether or not private schools are necessary.

I'm in my mid 30s and still get asked what school I went to. It still influences people's perceptions of me as a person. Sure it shouldn't be that way, but it is.

Yes, that was something I noticed in Melbourne. Even before having children, I was told that if and when I did have children, I would HAVE to send them to a private school, otherwise I would not get promotions. Ridiculous really and one of the many factors why I chose to turn my back on a professional career.

Thankfully with the move, the pressure to go private is much less, if anything the only ones who care about private down here, are not people who I tend to be friends with. Oh and MIL, but that needs a thread to itself

[Phteven]

Have you looked into the Walker learning approach? It is more evidence based than Steiner and an increasing number of schools are adopting it.

[fionas]

It's a tricky one that's for sure. My approach is obviously based on my own background. I went to public schools and lived in a small community where most people were blue collar workers. No-one had aspirations and the teachers certainly didn't have any aspirations for their pupils. I was one of only five out of 300 pupils who went to university. When I was at university it dawned on me that my fellow undergraduates weren't any smarter than the kids I went to school with, just their expectations had been different growing up. The more I read, the more I truly believe that. If anyone's interested, google John Fleming - he's worked wonders in 'deprived' schools as well as private schools.

As much as I will instill in my girls that they can do or be anything they want, their community, schooling and peers will play a part in that. DP is a train driver, I was a middle manager so their aspirations from looking at their parents will not be super high. I still battle feelings that I'm not good enough to do a particular job. Logically, I know that I am. I know that I'm smart and capable but the underlying feelings of not being good enough are really hard to budge and they're hard-wired into me from my background. Our DDs will not in all likelihood mix with high-flyers in their local community. I think it would be beneficial to them to mix with kids of high achievers at school so they understand that 'those' people are no different to them. So on that basis, I am leaning to private school for their secondary schooling depending on what their interests are.

I think I've found one that parallels the ethos that I will be instilling in my girls which is, you are as good as anyone but better than no-one. Unfortunately, it's in Bendigo which is 70km away. If I truly believe that's the best school for them then we will move there. We are pretty secure financially but if push came to shove, I'd take a loan to pay the fees.

[fionas]

and by the way, I will in no way 'pushing' my girls to be high achievers, or what society deems to be a high achiever. If DD1 wants to be a builder then I will be as happy as Larry if it makes her happy. I don't want her to be a builder who actually deep down wants to be a doctor or a lawyer but thought she wasn't good enough, if that makes sense.

[Beach Mama]

Walker method is great! Lots of schools are going play and inquiry based now which is awesome! Glad you have one local!

[Mak]

Around our way there are lots of private schools so the public schools tend to be where those kids who have been asked to leave end up!
DH and I want to give our kids access to the best opportunities we can so will be sending them private in secondary and taking $$ out of the house if necessary to fund it. Luckily we have an awesome public primary school and really happy there so far.

Santosha - go and see one of Kathy Walker's talks - I really enjoyed her approach!

[Jakabella]

I have been out of high school for 13 years now, but in my experiance it's not where you get your education, it's what you do with it. I know alot of people that went to either the public HS and I would say 80% are doing alot better in career and life in general than those who went to the private HS here.
I will be sending my kids to public primary and secondary schools for sure.
Good luck with your decision.

[MummyNaomi]

We have enrolled Bailey into a private school that is luckily in our suburb and has a wonderful reputation and good naplan scores etc etc

Initially I was of the thought process that we'd send him to public school for primary and if he was academically minded or needed support in a specific way we could always change later. I felt that senior school was more important, However then a good friend put a different spin on it and pointed out that often the foundations we start while they are young have more impact on shaping the people our little ones will be come, rather than relying on 'fixing' things later when they are older, already influenced and less likely to adapt to change with ease. This really resonated with me.

However for us, the private school fees will be no more than our current cost of childcare (even with the child care rebate etc) - so when put into context we don't actually need to find 'extra' money, but rather consider that child care costs will become schools fees.

We did a tour of this school late last year and have his name on the 'waiting' list, but wont find out until late this year if he is in, so I also plan to enroll him in another local private school I also like (yet to tour). The reason this school is so important to me is I am impressed with the culture, the curriculum and the facilities and their values are aligned to mine - not in a religious sense, but more so with regard to respect, the importance place on education and also things like Leadership, Integrity etc. Also, its a feeder school into the High School I have my eye on (right next door so most of the kids will transition there)

I'm also a fan of the Steiner methods, we have a great public steiner school here (way to far away from where we live however) that is part of a regular primary school so if the steiner methods aren't a match for your child, you can move them into the regular school system on the same campus instead. But it would mean an hour or so of travel each day which is just not practical for us with balancing work etc also.

Personally, I'd go with Option A. As a part time working Mum I also recognise that quality time with my child is very important - as opposed to quantity. I have watched DS flourish and learn so much at his wonderful child care centre 2 days a week, so I don't necessarily think that more time with Mum is the be all and end all - the old 'it takes a village to raise a child' quote is a good one, our children pick up all sorts of learnings and influences from a variety of sources, not just Mum and Dad. As parents, its our responsibility to make sure these influences are ones we are happy with.....aggghhh what am I trying to say? Just cos you need to work more to support the cost, does not necessarily have a negative impact on your kids

Hope that helps x