Are birth plans a waste of time?

[ticklish]

Ok, this is a question that has been bugging me for a while and just interested whether anyone else has had a similar experience.

DS was born by emergency c/s after a failed VBAC.

My birth plan was comprehensive and included my preferences in different scenarios.

The birth plan was first sighted and approved by my OB.

I made sure it was on my hospital file before admission - I took it there myself at 38 weeks and the midwives assured me that they had read it and were all fine with my requests upon admission.

Likewise, my DH had read it and I sent it to our Doula about 3 weeks beforehand.

Whilst in labour, I had requested not to be told how I was progressing - but I was (and yes, it wasn't good progress!)

My support people (DH and doula), both of whom I expected to advocate my wishes did nothing of the sort.

I am left a little jaded because I was not exactly in the best shape to do so myself

If it ended with a c/s - which it did - I wanted my baby to be kept with me in recovery. I wanted to b/f asap but he was taken away. I wanted to be present when he was given his first injection but I wasn't. I wanted to be shown the placenta but I wasn't.

Has anyone had a similar experience?

TICKLISH

[Beach Mama]

Firstly I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience for you birth or get your VBAC hun. I don't think birth plans are a waste of time, but I also know from experience that things just simply don't go to plan.

My main points on my birth plan with Izzy were, no drugs, I was terrified of an epidural and c/s and ended up with both as well. I also had lots of things like massage etc on there but DH and the midwives were a bit useless.

This time around I have gone through my plan with my doula, and I have pulled out just the absolutely necessary things like internals, IV, monitoring etc.... and I am leaving all the other "environmental" aspects up to DH and my doula. I am trusting them to make sure my birthing room is a calm, quiet dark place that I can do my thing! and I am trusting them to stick up for me mid contraction if they try to make me lie on my back for internals etc...
Having said all that, I am also aware that nothing is set in stone and that writing it on paper makes it very clear for me what I want, but I may change my mind and circumstances may change them for me too.
I hope that's not all too babbly! I'm a bit tired, but I think they are great to go through with your partner so you know what you are definite on, what you feel very strongly about and everything else needs to be pretty flexible.
I don't mean to offend also but I think that you should be able to trust your support people explicitly (although partners can be a bit useless seeing us in pain) but your doula in particular should have supported you better - birth plan or not. I would also maybe write a letter or speak to her about your disappointment hun.

[lila]

ticklish,
i am sorry to hear about your disappointing experiences.

i must admit, i had to push SOOO much to get what i wanted and in the end my anast. was the one who made it happen.
the midwives just ignored everything, although i handed out at least 10 copies.

but you said you had a doula, she should have reminded your dh to insist on your wishes (a doula herself is not entitled to do this)...


as tanstar said, i would talk to your doula about this and let her know how you feel. she may not even know and might appreciate your feedback, eventhough it might not be very positive, but it will let her understand your needs and give her more insight for her next client....

all the best
lila

[BellyBelly]

Whilst in labour, I had requested not to be told how I was progressing - but I was (and yes, it wasn't good progress!)

Unfortunately many carers do not read birth plans. Birth centres are usually quite good, they encourage birth plans and read them, but with so many shift changes in hospitals they often sadly don't bother to read it and their job in a hospital is all about progress... so they often tell you.

My support people (DH and doula), both of whom I expected to advocate my wishes did nothing of the sort.

I'm sorry you felt so unsupported - as lila said a doula cant turn around to a midwife and say 'dont tell her how she's progressing she doesnt want to know' as it creates tension, but I agree encouraging your partner to is a good idea. Was your doula experienced in VBAC or had much experience at all?

If it ended with a c/s - which it did - I wanted my baby to be kept with me in recovery. I wanted to b/f asap but he was taken away. I wanted to be present when he was given his first injection but I wasn't. I wanted to be shown the placenta but I wasn't.

Again sadly this is all hospital process and protocol. They dictate the whole 'what happens' in a c/s situation and it sucks. I would write a complaint to the hospital, as the more women who complain about this happening will make waves.

Birth plans are important, and it sucks but at the end of the day you have to be prepared to fight. I dont know if you went public, which it sounds like, but many public hospitals aren't very pro-VBAC and tend to make it difficult for women. Its very frustrating.

I would look into some birth debriefing, definitely speak to your doula but I have a feeling you might need more than just speaking to the doula.

[DANNIIM]

I am not sure if i fully agree that it is always hospital protocol and i am in no way putting down any persons feeling in regards to this topic at all.
However i didn't have a birth plan for my first, didn't even know they existed to be honest, maybe i just have a group of fantastic midwives three in total in the public hospital system. When they had the first shift change my lovely midwife came over knelt down to my level and asked me if i had any preferences in giving birth, didn't know fully what she was talking about cause all i wanted to do was meet my baby and i said no naively. I had a completely different midwife deliver DS due to another shift change and that midwife, another lovely lady asked me firstly and then showed me my placenta, not the nicest looking peice of organ but it serves a really good purpose and was glad i got to see it and its workings.
All i can say is that i am a person that doesn't like to plan things as they don't normally go to plan anyway, i just like to go with the flow and that is precisely what i am doing this time as well and DP knows how i feel about certain things anyway and i couldn't ask for a better support person anyway, but i really feel it also comes down to the midwives individually and if they are really there for the women, to listen and understand her ahead of time.

Ticklish sorry to hear you didn't get the delivery you hoped for.

[Smoke Jaguar]

I had a birth plan, borrowed from a few different sources and meshed to reflect my values and wishes. It was read by all midwives at the FBC, my DP knew what was in it and it was carried out beautifully without me needing to cite it when I went in, in labour. The only bit that didn't go to plan was the third stage, which had to be managed due to some PPH. The attending midwife apologised profusely about this, but there was no need to do that because I know they had respected me the whole way through.
Not a waste of time, especially if you birth plan correlates strongly with the values and procedures of where you are giving birth. In my case, my birth plan was often just a rephrasing of their own mission statement!
I felt a lot of ownership over the birth we had because of the birth plan and finding a place to birth that was consistent with my birthing ideals.

[sirenz]

Unfortunately many carers do not read birth plans. Birth centres are usually quite good, they encourage birth plans and read them, but with so many shift changes in hospitals they often sadly don't bother to read it and their job in a hospital is all about progress... so they often tell you.

When I was in labour, in a hospital, my midwives read my birthplan and also as their shift change, informed the new midwives of my birthplan choices, they all followed what I had in my plan and I thought they were quite good.

I think whoever you have as a support person should take some responsibility to make sure they understand your plan and can make sure it is followed to how you want it, that is part of what a support person is there for, your doula or dh should have stood up and said something when they were informing you of your progress and after your ds was born, they should have stood up and reminded staff of your choices.

I am glad I had a birth plan, even though in the end ds was born via emergency c/s (it saved his life!) i was just happy in the end to be going home with my baby instead of making funeral plans for him. My birthplan got me as far as possible and i think you should be prepared for some changes to take effect iykwim.

After all that, what i'm trying to say is i don't think birth plans are a waste of time, but you have to make sure your support person/s will stand up for what you want.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Hell yeah.

Discussed the plan with all and sundry. The hospital "lost" it (put it in my bag while I was in labour, took it out my notes and put it in my bag!) and DH seemed to forget that I was giving birth and knew my body and my baby, not the midwives and obs.

There was IMPORTANT medical info in there, stuff that involved DS breathing or not at birth, and I ended up explaining it to EVERY person who wandered into the room because I was worried about the drugs they wanted to give me (paranoid pregnant woman, don't listen to her - oh wait, the baby's not breathing), DH ignored ALL my wishes and just agreed to everything the Obs said... what was the point?

As for "it's my fault because of my choices" (which seems to be the attitude in this thread generally) - yeah. My fault. My fault that no-one listened to me when I told them something. My fault that when I said I didn't want this then it was overridden by everyone else around me. My fault I can't give birth.

I'm ready to just give up on the whole thing, I really am. I'm a failure and cannot birth - at least I'm more at peace with only having one child now. I'll need a lot of convincing before I set myself up to fail again because I educate myself as much as possible, fight as much as possible and still fail... what hope will I ever have?

[{sarah}]

I've reflected a bit on my birth plan & I think it was a really good idea to have it in place even though I didn't have my VBAC. There were things I wanted in case of an emergency c/s that I got which wouldn't have happened had I gone in without a plan.

I was not told the time & was only told of my progress when I asked for it, something that was very important to me. My support people & the midwives refused to discuss pain relief whilst I was in the middle of contractions which was exactly what I wanted (at the time though I wasn't happy about it LOL). I wanted the cord to stop pulsating before it was clamped & that was done even though I had a c/s.

[Trillian]

Going back to the original question of are birth plans a waste of time? I think not. If you really think about it, they are a plan of what you would like to happen just in case that senario arrises - you might have a plan in place to deal with you having a post partum haemorrage; or one for a c/s; or whatever senario you can think of and it saves valuable 'thinking time' - so if it does happen, then what your preferences are, are already right there in black and white on paper - no woman should be made to think during her birth and move away from using the primal part of her brain to the thinking part of her brain and distract her from the job she is meant to be doing - GIVING BIRTH! If you read a lot of birth stories, you will read ones where the mother has had to make a choice in birth that has distressed her and she momentarily loses groove and needs to find that again. If her care providers actually read the bit of paper they were given it would save the birthing mum a lot of angst I think.

Admittedly I only ever had one for my 4th birth - with the first three I just went with the flow and we decided to take birth as it came kwim? We knew what options we had, but we didn't think that a plan was necessary in our situation. It wasn't until I had a somewhat traumatic third birth that I realised the importance of needing one for my 4th.

[BhoysGirl]

Rosehip - your post makes me sad, probably especially from you, as I think of you as such a strong, articulate, together kind of a girl, to have you say that you feel like failure - well, is about all I can do.

I completely understand the disappointment in not getting a natural birth, having gone through the experience ending up with an em c/s for which I just wasn't mentally ready, I was too convinced that my body would do what it was supposed to do. But to think of yourself as a failure - for any woman to think of her birthing experience as a failure - is just so sad. I think that it's wrong to attibute a pass/fail approach to birthing but absolutely right to feel disappointment & varying degrees of grief when things don't to go to plan. Birth is an incredible rite of passage for us, but at the end of the day, such a small part of the whole picture, a day, maybe 2 out of a lifetime (per child I guess), so don't judge yourself on the birth experience, save that for the rest of the days when you can really get some motherguilt worked up

[BhoysGirl]

And back to the topic - for me, a birth plan next time will be worthwhile, in that it will allow me to hope (visualise) for the best, but prepare for the worst, so that I'm not so thrown if things go haywire again.

[Smoke Jaguar]

RF - I think your experiences have coloured your perceptions here. I do not believe anyone here is saying that it's your 'fault' about what happened. I am certainly not saying that, at the very least. I am saying that a birth plan's power may well be diminished in direct proportion to the medicalisation of the birthing environment. My point is, if it's a sound birth plan, don't blame the birth plan - blame the caregivers who choose to ignore it because of the structures that 'justify' their actions. What I am saying is that this needs to be taken into consideration when thinking about the kind of birth you want. If the place you are going to does not naturally or easily support the birth that is outlined in your plan, then you are likely not to achieve the birth you want easily. That is not an individual 'failing'.

[BellyBelly]

Re doulas - studies were all sorts of countries, people with private or public care - all round.

Just ask people who have used doulas what they think.

[~clover~]

Rosehip - your post makes me sad, probably especially from you, as I think of you as such a strong, articulate, together kind of a girl, to have you say that you feel like failure - well, is about all I can do.

I completely understand the disappointment in not getting a natural birth, having gone through the experience ending up with an em c/s for which I just wasn't mentally ready, I was too convinced that my body would do what it was supposed to do. But to think of yourself as a failure - for any woman to think of her birthing experience as a failure - is just so sad. I think that it's wrong to attibute a pass/fail approach to birthing but absolutely right to feel disappointment & varying degrees of grief when things don't to go to plan. Birth is an incredible rite of passage for us, but at the end of the day, such a small part of the whole picture, a day, maybe 2 out of a lifetime (per child I guess), so don't judge yourself on the birth experience, save that for the rest of the days when you can really get some motherguilt worked up

I think EVERYONE who is disappointed with a birth experience should read this.

[Snowy Love]

Rosehip Fairy - I've read you stories and from what I've read it wasn't your birth plan that was a waste of time, it was the midwives and your DH. Next time you need to clone yourself (or pay for one of the lovely ladies from BB to fly to England) so you have a strong advocate!

[QueenMab]

Ticklish - I am so sorry that your bith plan was not followed & you felt that you had nobody to stand up for what you wanted during your bith.

Is writing a birth plan a waste of time? I don't think so even though my own birth plan didn't make it out of my labour bag!! I was good to have written it, to have though carefully about everything I wanted, about the choices I would have to make, to take DP through it. I do agree with Kelly about the birthing mother having to make the right choices all the way up to the birth to get as close as they can to their desired outcome; for me that was choosing the birth centre & letting my midwives know what I did & didn't want from the start. Lucky for me when I went in to labour the head midwife of the birth centre was on duty & she directed DP in ways to help when she wasn't there as well as never offering me any drugs, even though I was not so subtly implying that drugs would be a great idea lol. So, even if the birth plan does nothing but get everything straight in your mind about what you want, it is worth it, IMO.

About Doulas.... could those stats have anything to do with the the kinds of women that choose to have a doula? I am not saying that doulas don't contribute to better natural birth outcomes, but for a woman to spend a considerable amount of money on one then they would be, in the first place, quite dedicated to the idea of a natural birth?

I have to say also that I see FJs POV about wondering why a doula cannot advocate for the birthing mother if that is what she wants, if it is purely because of the 'system' then it is a lot worse than we already thought.