I am not sure if i fully agree that it is always hospital protocol and i am in no way putting down any persons feeling in regards to this topic at all.
However i didn't have a birth plan for my first, didn't even know they existed to be honest, maybe i just have a group of fantastic midwives three in total in the public hospital system. When they had the first shift change my lovely midwife came over knelt down to my level and asked me if i had any preferences in giving birth, didn't know fully what she was talking about cause all i wanted to do was meet my baby and i said no naively. I had a completely different midwife deliver DS due to another shift change and that midwife, another lovely lady asked me firstly and then showed me my placenta, not the nicest looking peice of organ but it serves a really good purpose and was glad i got to see it and its workings.
All i can say is that i am a person that doesn't like to plan things as they don't normally go to plan anyway, i just like to go with the flow and that is precisely what i am doing this time as well and DP knows how i feel about certain things anyway and i couldn't ask for a better support person anyway, but i really feel it also comes down to the midwives individually and if they are really there for the women, to listen and understand her ahead of time.

Ticklish sorry to hear you didn't get the delivery you hoped for.