Birth support

[BellyBelly]

I think though many women and men (but not all of course) can have a romantacised idea of what it's going to be like, and then they end up disappointed that it's not what they expected (again, not saying all of you). Birth centres have a higher likelyhood that you will get the midwife for a majority of your labour (in my experience actually being there, it's still quite low) but if you are going private, your Ob will only be there to catch your baby, to perform interventions or if there are complications - sometimes they miss the birth or are on holidays, so they aren't going to be there for you in terms of nurturing support. A midwife who works in a hospital has other women to attend to, shifts to adhere to and also isn't able to 'handhold' through contractions and wipe your brow etc. She needs to take observations, do paperwork and attend to other women - often two midwives will assist during a birth and then after it's all over, obviously they have to get back to everyone else in labour who has been waiting.

So it's alot of stuff left up to partners, and as someone mentioned, they can take it in their stride and become a great advocator and understand your wants and needs, but also there are some men who find the whole process daunting and nerve-racking (of course they do, they have only been allowed in the birth room for a few decades let alone support a woman - its not their usual domain and they haven't been exposed to it), and usually do not understand the options being given to them and do not know what to do. No-one can replace your partner, no-one can replace the bond and love you have with him. This is not the job of the birth attendant. But as one midwife confided in me, the way birth in maternity hospitals is going, if you want support and continuous contact with someone, you are going to have to buy your own.

Its amazing how many midwives have told me that couples have turned up to things like inductions and not had any idea how it's being done or been put through processes that they have no idea about. The pre-natal education is lacking and in desperate need of help too.