How impt was it that your partner could stay with you after birth?

[LionsandBears]

We're discussing options for our next pregnancy and this is one of the things on my mind and will influence our decision on public v private hospitals. At this stage, we think we've ruled out homebirth

Assuming we have a live baby next time, I'd prefer DH could stay overnight with us. I don't want him missing out on those first few hours of our baby's life.

It's highly unlikely he'd be able to stay with me in a public hospital. I'd most likely be in a shared room (which is another issue I have), so that's not on. He doesn't think his being able to stay over is worth the $000's to pay for a private OB when we would get as good or better care doing shared care with our IM and a public OB. (I'm hoping that as we're 'high risk' we get to see only one OB throughout).

Our IM is a LC, so any help we need could be done with her at home. I'm likely to want to go home ASAP, depending on how the birth goes. I prefer my own space/bed/privacy and I don't want strangers handling me or my baby. So I don't know how long I'd stay in hospital anyway. We have PHI but a $500 excess.

Advice etc would be appreciated.

I assume you can't use PHI to get a private room in a public hospital.

TIA

[briggsy's girl]

i had a private room in a public hospital - and DH stayed the night E was born and the night before we came home.

i think you should check with the hospital you would use - you may find if you talk to them about the circumstances with Leo's birth and you needing (psychologically speaking) to have your DH there for both of you, it might be something they could accommodate

with the hospital i went to, they filled the private rooms first, then put one person in each of the shared rooms, and only actually shared if there were too many people for the other wards - didn't matter how you birthed. at the other local-ish one, they automatically put you in a shared room if you're a c/s, but leave you in a single if you have a VB. if your bub goes to SCN you are put in a shared room i believe...

[Shanti]

I gave birth in public and will do so again this time around i was lucky to get a private room after i gave birth with no drugs or gas given dd was posterior; the mw's felt i deserved my space after that hehe

I had dh with me for 3hrs after the birth but by then he had to get home to sleep and i needed the rest and it worked fine for us! I missed him each night as i was in for 5nts and a private room gets pretty isolating after a while. Im happy to twin share this time around . HTH!

[M D]

I had DH in there for the first three nights (two of those three were waiting for the indutcion to work, so one night when Bub was with us). I had Bub with my for one night and DH went home and then DD was taken to the SCU and DH spent those nights at home. I found the night I was with DD by myself in my room very daunting and isolating. This time around I will be having my DD1 stay with my parent and DH will be staying with me. At this point I don't really care if he wants to or not he will be staying for my comfort.

I also plan to get out of the hospital ASAP but if this one has to go to SCU that means a longer stay.

I thought I would be right the night I was by myself and I haven't even told DH that I was petrified hence the reason this time around I won't try and be 'tough'.

[Mildez]

Yes where I work you can use your private health in the public system which often includes a private room when available. Unfortunately because its a public system your still not guaranteed a private room as other people may take priority (such as other private ladies who were there first or infectious diseases etc) You can not have your partner stay unfortunately (unless is exceptional circumstances) Your partner can stay in delivery suite but not the postnatal ward.

I would think early discharge would be the best solution for you, your DH and babe especially if you have good support at home and to help the reduction of illnesses and people touching your baby. I have this issue also and plan on discharging home within 4hrs of birth if possible. I'll be birthing in a public hospital as a private patient (as our private hospital only does c/s) and provided everything is normal I'll be out of there for the same reasons you mentioned (wanting privacy, not wanting the midwives/Drs touching bub and then other visitors coughing and ****tering in communal places)

I'll add you to my prayers that your next BFP is just around the corner and you have a brilliant birth and take home bub!

[crumpet]

for my pregnancy i went private, with my own OB and chose to deliver at the private hospital as opposed to the public one he has rights at.....

for me i wanted my DH to stay the night she was born BUT the hospital we happy for him to stay as late as he wanted and come in as early as he wanted so after being settled in my room and seeing the double bed we choose for him to go home and come back early in the morning, plus i had a PPH so they wanted me to rest up so him staying in a small bed with me wasnt going to work.

DH then worked while i was in hospy and would come in and stay till late each night.

i then expected him to stay the night before we came home but DD ended up in SCU so there was no point him being there.

when i was admitted in jan before we lost our DS i was in the public hospital and becasue i was a private patient i was guaranteed my own room, and given my situation the middies told me i would have been given one anyway....

personally for me, i like knowing the option is there just incase and there was no way i wanted to share a room so going private guaranteed that for me....

[TaRhLi.]

I had DD in a private hospital and DH stayed the first 2 nights with me. The second day he actually went to work and then came back in the afternoon (he works in the public hossy next door to the private one). It was a great help, especially the first night as I had a c/s and he was able to assist with getting DD for me. If he wouldn't have been there they would have taken her to the nursery as I couldn't get out of bed.

Every other day of my stay he would come in about 7.30am to spend time before going to work and then every evening until about 9pm to help with bathing etc. Going private for us meant that he could come and go whenever he pleased and stay as late as he wanted to everynight. They allow that for partners and your children but not other visitors who have strict visiting hours.

I had a single room which was great and I didn't feel lonely at all as I would have the midwives come in and visit and chat when it was quiet and if I had no visitors.

This time around unfortunately he won't be able to stay with me as he will need to look after DD, but he will come in everyday and bring DD with him and in the evenings we will go through DD's nightly routine with her (even shower her in my room if needed and I will also order extra for my meals for DD as well) so she can spend time with me before she goes to bed in the evening and then DH will take her home for bed. We want to try and make this time about including DD in the whole baby process and by having our own room in a private hospital it will allow us to spend as much time together as a family unit.

[~me~]

I assume you can't use PHI to get a private room in a public hospital.

TIA

Pretty sure you can?? I would check it out with RWH if that is where you are thinking of and your PHI.
You can be a private patient in a public hospital for other procedures, so I would think this would extend to Maternity as well. It may be just luck of the draw or perhaps a chat with a MW about getting a single room.

My DH stayed the first night after the birth for DS1 and the last night before I went home. We had a double bed and I only paid the excess for me and that was it.
That was with Frances Perry.

[Shanti]

Yes u can use you phi to seek a private room in public hospital. We can for my hospital anyway? but its not guaranteed if they are busy.

[Phteven]

I had a public room in a public hospital. Maybe it's because I went to boarding school but I kind of liked sharing, it was nice to have some company outside visiting hours.
When I was in the ante-natal ward and I was freaking out they let DH stay and moved me to a private room - generally I think that if your mental state is such that if you won't cope well alone they will let your partner stay.
Personally I was so tired after each birth that I was perfectly happy to send DH home and crash out, in fact I think I was fast asleep long before they told him to leave.

[Miss.September]

I went private and DH actually spent all four nights in there with me, he only came home to feed our dogs and shower. I think it helped him bond even more with DD, plus he was there to hear everything the nurses had to say. The best nurse we had was our night nurse, so it was great that he was there when she would do her night time rounds. Second time around it will be different, because we have DD, but I'll still be going to the same hospital, with the same ob, even though it will cost us extra. Good luck with your decision

[fionas]

I THOUGHT it would be important but I had a v long labour first time around. DP left around 11pm and came back first thing. I was way too excited to sleep which would have meant neither of us would have slept and we would have just been gasbagging all night.

Second time around I had an elective caesar (because of the 18 month recovery from the SPD first time around after a VB which I was going to risk again second time around) and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to do much and that it was vital DP was there. Was in a complete flap about it beforehand because we moved in late pregnancy from Melbourne to Woodend but I wanted to stay with my private ob and private hospital which meant DP couldn't stay the night as he would have to take care of DD1.

So practically, he couldn't stay. I really needn't have fussed. The nurses were fab and really, I ain't the first person to have a caesar and need help

Private room is essential to me. I like my own space. I wouldn't cope with having other people around.

[misty]

you could alway just leave the hospital straight away after the birth - both of you can spend the first night together with bubs ar home.

[LionsandBears]

you could alway just leave the hospital straight away after the birth - both of you can spend the first night together with bubs ar home.

We've discussed this and it really depends on timing and length of labour/exhaustion etc.

[Taurean]

It was very important to me and we both loved the experience. We had a lovely room at a wonderful hospital. It was more like staying a hotel room and besides a quick check from the midwives three times a day, we were very much left to our own devices.

I had a double bed so DH slept next to me and snuggled me while I fed DD. I loved that closeness and all the love that was in our little family in those first few days. We were besotted and it was amazing to be sharing the experience. Gush,gush, gush!!!

I was most thankful on day 3 when my milk came in (boy did that hurt!) and the baby blues kicked in as well. Having DH there to lend a hand and reassure me (I had a pretty big meltdown!) that all was ok made all the difference.

DD was born on a Saturday so DH went to work during the day until I went home on the Thursday. We didn't see the point in him using his leave while I was in hossi. He started work a bit later though and finished earlier.

Yeah, it was nice. I'll miss him next time round. He'll probably stay for a night or two but will then need to be home for DD.

[Junglemum]

you can definitely be a private pt in a public hospital, and as long as they have the rooms available you should be able to get a private one.

It wasn't important to me that DH stayed, but after losing Leo i can imagine it would be much more important to both you and your hubby to be there. x

[luna moth]

It wasn't important at all to me. I went public and got a private room. The option was there for DH to stay, but we decided for him to leave. DD was born 5:20 pm. I was admitted to the ward about 8:30. Mum left then, and DH left about an hour later. Baby and I slept all night and he was back at about 6:30am. I was offered 10am discharge and if I knew then what I know now, I'd have taken it. Home is so much more restful than hospital.

[~Hestia~]

It wasn't important to me but I think if I felt strongly about it, I would pay the extra $$$ if it meant I could have that