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Thread: Do you regret your birthing decision??

  1. #1
    Kirsty77 Guest

    Default Do you regret your birthing decision??

    I'm just curious as to who regrets their birthing decision second time round after already having a c/s and who doesn't and the reasons why......



    Did you have a VBAC and due to complications regret it?

    Did you have a scheduled c/s and now regret it?

    Just still tossing up what to do. I've let the hospital know that I'm keen now on a scheduled c/s(I had a emergency c/s with Gemma) as I have severe Gall bladder pains(gallstones) and want to minimise the risk of all pains hitting and happening at once.....but this is not about me...I want to know what you did and why and do you regret it now.

  2. #2

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    Kirsty, as you know I had a VBAC and even with 9 days of strong prelabour, hardly getting any sleep over this time then 8 hours of labour which ended in a forceps delivery and a 4th degree tear up to and including my anal area I don`t regret my VBAC, then I went on to have a severe post partum haemorage(spl) and now an infection in my stitches, it was still the birth I wished for even though I do regret some things which I didn`t do during labour which I should have done but I put it all down to being totally exhausted due to very little sleep for days on end.

    At times I do worry how will things be down in that area once it`s all healed (will take 3 months post birth to heal) and I do think maybe I should have had a c/s (especially if things don`t work how they used to) but if I did I still would have felt ripped off that I never knew what labour felt like, I know you`ve been in a position where you know what labour is like whereas Adrian`s birth was a first for labour for me.

    Adrian will be my only VB baby as Dr`s have advised I can`t have a repeat VB due to my 4th degree tear, it apparently will just tear right down there again with any subsequent births, so he`s my VBAC baby and I feel very proud about that

    All in all Kirsty you have to do what IS right for YOU.

    Good Luck and I`m thinking of you.

    Love

    Dee

  3. #3
    Kirsty77 Guest

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    Thanks so much Dee. I must say after reading aobut your birth I am terrified of what could happen now. I have been advised by the docs that I can still try for a VBAC even with the gallbladder problems, but Corey and I are hesitant now. Gallbladder pain is so much worse than labour. And I really couldn't handle both. I'm scared also of tearing down there during a VBAC even though a c/s is major surgery. I guess I'm just having last minute freak outs! I mean it doesn't make sense as I'm terrifed of another c/s!!

    Thank you though your reponse was so honest and open.

  4. #4

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    Kirsty, I know exactly what you mean by being terrified about another c/s, I feel the same way but as I said any future children I have will have to be delivered that way and it`s going to take me time to get used to that idea and to get over the emtional issues I hold about c/s`s, at least I`m not in any hurry atm for more children but my age is against us both so we can`t hold back for too many years.

    Please don`t think too much about my birth, it was just one of those things and exhaustion played a major part in it, what happened to me doesn`t happen too often.

    I know your final decision will be one which is right for you.

  5. #5

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    I was induced with Kat and ended with a c/s as she was posterior and stuck and in distress. I sooooo wanted a VBAC with Jess, but she made the decision for me by turning last minute and with risk of cord prolapse and Jess's death, I was book in for an c/s. I found the second planned c/s SOOOOO much better! I recovered heaps quicker and the pain was minimal. I am looking into Vba2c, but willl have to wait and see. I do still want my VB, even tho I CLEARLY remember how much pain it was once they upped the syntocin to full. I do regret the manner of my girls being brought into the world. But I am eternally greatful they are here and healthy and happy girls so I can't complain....

  6. #6
    Kirsty77 Guest

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    I know what you mean Kerrie. I felt a bit ripped off with Gemma's birth. as I really wanted a vaginal birth. She was also posterior and I only got to 9cm and she got stuck and after 21 hours of labour, I just couldn't do it anymore. But your absolutely right, shes here and healthy and thats the main thing. I just feel so torn I guess. And I guess I feel that by having a scheduled c/s I am some how 'cheating'.IYKWIM. Even though a c/s is by no means cheating as the recovery is longer and its major surgery. I just obviously still have issues with Gemma's birth.

    Thank you both for your honest replies.....it means alot that other people can relate.

  7. #7

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    You can still haemorrhage and even have a uterine rupture with a caesarean - it's just one of those unfortunate things. On the other hand, I know women who have had twin waterbirths at home, VBA2C at home and other things some would deem 'risky' that went perfectly. Yet we can be in hospital and have a 'safe option' and things go wrong for reasons we don't understand or perhaps do.

    You just have to educate yourself as best you can, weigh it all up and decide what YOU think would be best for you. You will never know 'what if' so it is really hard. There are 'horror' stories on both sides. But take many other women, like Cailin for example. She chose to try for a VBAC and see what happened and realised not only was she capable of that, but she didn't need drugs either. Every situation is different and we wont know what we are capable of until we give it a go and we are all in so very different circumstances so birth will go differently based on that.

    I think what you have done Dee was very admirable - hopefully you will get some answers soon but there's no reason for anyone to be scared of VBAC or vaginal birth. Haemorrage happens in all sorts of births, be it VBAC, or vaginal birth or caesarean. I have not seen a haemorrage in any births I have supported, but they do happen from time to time.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  8. #8

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    Kirsty, I had was called an elective c section with Noah as he was breach and not a day goes by without me regretting it. I begged the Drs at the hospital to let me try to deliver him but no one would even let me try

    I had my VBAC with Tehya nd I guess thats the only positive thing about havong my c section I can find. It gave me the courage to put my foot down and decide one having my homebirth. Nothing that I had even thought of before being pg with Tehya. I just knew that I didn't want to be in a hospital environment where they could take it all away from me again.

    I have a PPH after my 2nd birth, 2 weeks later. He was a normal vaginal delivery albeit that he was posterior labour and birth was only 2 hours!! No problems at all. I had some retained placenta - apparently and thats what caused the problems.

    As Kelly said PPH can happen to anyone. As can uterine rupture. The actual statistics are higher for uterine rupture in women who have NOT had abdominal surgery then women who have.

    Do what you feel is right Kirsty. No one can make the decision for you. Just make sre that it is an informed one

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