Forceps Delivery/Did You Birth Your Baby?

[Deejoy17]

Just a quick question for those of you who had a forceps delivery - Do you still feel like you delivered/birthed your baby?

Just a few hours after Adrian was born I made a comment to MIL something about birthing Adrian, her reply straight back to me was "Oh you didn`t birth him" this was said with a laugh.

So in her eyes because he was delivered via forecps I didn`t give birth to him but to me I thought I had, her comment really hurt me and wasn`t what I wanted to hear only a few hours after giving birth, her comment has been playing on my mind lately.

So did you birth your baby? Did you receive any comments like I did from friends/family who thought otherwise?

Take Care

Dee

[visitor2]

If your MIL doesn't think you gave birth to Adrian what does she think you did do ?

I've had this problem but with having c-sections and was told i have never given birth as far as i am concerned the baby in no longer in side so i have given birth. It doesn't matter how you have the baby you have still given birth.

What your MIL said was awful and i would try not to worry about it anymore but i know how hard it is to forget about something like that.

[~Jo~]

Dee...honestly what a horrible comment to make! Who gave birth to him then if it wasnt you??? Please ignore any insensitive comments like that..not only are they ridiculous but they are just silly!

Jo

[Alan]

Hi Dee
You did give birth to your baby. You was the only pregnant woman to walk in that room and come out no longer pergnant. If you did not give birth then what happened?
Dont let your MIL's comments worry you. You have just done something wonderful. You have just presented the world with a new human being, And who knowes your child could one day find a cure for cancer ore even unite the world in peace.

[Tobily]

Hi Dee
You did give birth to your baby. You was the only pregnant woman to walk in that room and come out no longer pergnant. If you did not give birth then what happened?
Dont let your MIL's comments worry you. You have just done something wonderful. You have just presented the world with a new human being, And who knowes your child could one day find a cure for cancer ore even unite the world in peace.

Here here!

What a ridiculous thing to say to you!
I had a ventouse delivery but after 20 hours of labour if anyone had the nerve to try to tell me I didn't "birth her" I'd probably slap them.
How rude!

[EllyBoo72]

OMG, The nerve of some people. As if you need to hear unneccessary comments like that. What a crock. You sure did birth your baby, and well done too. And as far as i am concerned, as Alan implied, If the baby has come out from your body, you've birthed it.
Someone wouldnt want to tell me I hadnt birthed my baby, just because i had an elective c section. Wheather it comes out of your V or Belly, with or without help, you still gave birth to it.
Well done on your birth...That wouldnt have been easy for you to go through, You deserve congrats! and a big bunch of flowers

[Fi]

Dee - I know exactly what you are saying casue I've been there. The whole "natural birthing thing" sort of tells you that if there is any assistance than perhaps you didn't have the full birth experience, therefore do you have the right to say you "birthed" your baby.
I personally have got over the pathetic semantics of people choosing such words. I am AOK with saying my baby was delivered. I didn't decide what time she was born as they wheeled me into the theatre when it became free, and they chose what time she was pulled out.
Of course I pushed along with them pulling, but at the end of the day my baby was well and truly delivered in my eyes. But I choose not to use the words "birthed" in the natural sense of it.
I am slowly getting over the whole expectation of us using warm fuzzy words when it comes to the birthing experience, and my midwives this time around and really helping me here. Everytime I go in I ask all the whatifs, and get the same answer from all of them.
Every birth is different, and you just do what you do to get through, and there is nothing anyone should be able to say to take away from you that this is your child, you "gave birth" to them, and noone else felt your pain or had your experience.
Please dont get tied up in people's silly word choices - what you feel is the most important thing, and whether you had a completely natural birth or a c/s, at the end of the day your child is healthy, and you are recovering.
Pffft to anyone who has a problem with that.

[DoulaRelle]

Dee,

I did have a forcep delivery and while no one else said I hadn't birthed my baby, I must admit I have had issues dealing with the way in which he was bought into the world.


I won't go into details here and clog up the thread, but needless to say I had a 3 and a half day labour which ended up in me having an epidural which did not work once the forcep delivery was happening so I FELT the whole thing without pain relief. I went into shock straight after him being born, and have struggled with the whole experience.

A big part of the issue was my recovery from the forcep delivery, I had alot of pain for 6 months afterwards, not to mention the fear of DTD again. I had a mid forcep delivery though, so my baby was still quite high.

Regardless of the details of how your baby was born, you still went through the 9 months of carrying and nuturing your babies and gave them life!

I have since gone on to have a fantastic delivery and was adamant I was not going to have an epidural or forceps again and I didn't! The experiences are poleS apart!

[christy]

I read this post a few hours ago and its been sitting with me since... I can't believe that someone would say you didn't "birth" your baby because you had assisted delivery... It makes me really angry and defensive and upset that someone would say that to you... and someone so close!

One thing Dee is you have gone through so much with this birth, and you have done an amazing job. I think your DH needs to step in & say that you birthed 2 amazing children into this world. Without your work & effort they wouldn't be here.

[r8chele]

Wow, what a nasty thing to say. Some women seem to have a "one upmanship" thing going on with how they birth.

Just write it off as a nasty mother-in-law comment.

[Rouge]

I totally agree with everything thats already been said! You birthed your baby well and truly. I'd be telling MIL to keep her trap shut! What a hideous thing to say. I know what you mean though as I had a similar thing happen to me, I was told Paris was never born because she never passed through the birth canal she was "delivered". Pffft.

You did a marvellous job And I'm sure you don't need me to tell you but you should be very proud.

*hugs*
Cailin

[chocolatecatty]

What rubbish some people say!
I would write a polite letter to the hospital and say you did not appreciate Midwife X's comments...I doubt anything would happen but best case scenario the letter would be relayed to the midwife and she might think twice in the future. Silly woman.

oh! just re-read your original post and realised it was your MIL..not the midwife! Sorry for confusion!

[MrsBump]

I totally agree with alan and all the ladies who have said that you did give birth to your DS! How rude for her to say a thing like that! I wouldnt take much notice of her rude comments and if she said anything else i would tell her to keep her thoughts to herself.
Enjoy the birth of your DS and congratulations!
Jen

[Melbo]

Dee, I agree with the others. What a ridiculous comment. Your MIL is the one with the issues I think.

I read somewhere once that a woman shouldn't say her baby was "delivered" as that was implying someone else did the work! Just another example of semantics really ... some people will say anything to make themselves feel better and others feel small.

[Fi]

Melbo - I agree. I have no problem saying my baby was delivered by forceps, cause I know I was the one that went through the pain, and she came from my uterus, and through my canal, and despite the fact there was assistance, I have no problem with the fact I gave birth to a delivered baby.
I'm pretty sure I did a reasonable about of work

[Tigergirl1980]

OMG can I slap her? What a ridiculous thing to say. I agree with what everyone else said, and HELL YEAH I birthed Jonah, no one else went through the pain, 12 hours of labour and 2 hours of pushing before he had to be pulled out. No matter how your baby comes ot whether it be c/s, vacuum, forceps you still birthed your baby and poo and pfffffffffffft to whoever says that you didn't. Tell them to stick their head up their bum and fight for air.

[Karina]

You most definately did birth your baby. What a stupid comment for someone to say to you. What does she think you did ? He was born, so you must have birthed him.
It really shouldnt matter how the baby comes out or some help is needed, you still birth no matter how its done.