Funny things you said in labour

[Queen]

DD1 was a scary time, but the only thing I managed funny was as the bed was getting moved up, it squeaked, and I said ' the bed is saying get off fat pig lol'

DD2 was a little more relaxed, I managed things like
'told you they don't just fall out' to DH!
'now lets organise this vasectomy' to my doctor while pushing her out
I know there is more, but I can not remember them all now...

[Cranky Kitten]

With DD I was induced, so had a precautionary epi put in the night before in case I went into labour overnight - whilst they were inserting the epi "Dammit I'm not supposed to be here, I'm meant to be at home cooking the lamb roast I took out this morning!"

And as my Dr walked through the door after DD's birth - "You're late. I've done all the hard work already" To which he just laughed and walked over to where she was being weighed and measured by the midwives

[Junglemum]

DD2 was posterior, i was only 9 cm and my body was pushing without my consent. I couldn't stop it, but i wasn't quite fully dilated as she wasn't putting the right pressure on my cervix. So my OB helped to turn her during two contractions. Whilst he was doing it, I told him..... ok, i kinda screamed at him... "I wish you had a ****ing vag1na" .

[MantaRay]

I had fast labours so the contractions were on top of each other from the beginning. I remember with DS2 - who was a 3 hour labour - saying to the mw "where is my 5 minute break between contractions that I was promised. I want my break".

And with DS1, after being in denial about being in labour and telling them when I arrived that I wasn't in labour yet, after I'd been there a while, they asked me to lie on my back for an internal and a contraction hit while I was on my back - "oh, I think I'm in labour" I said. They all laughed - I was the last to catch on!!

[Shades]

All I remember that was funny was when after nearly 24 hours of pain I gave in and asked for an epi, once it kicked in I kept muttering gleefully about how "my legs have gone to the dentist"... My mum was cracking up.

[raffy]

I kept reminding DF in the blissful minute between contractions while literally racing 140km/h in the car just so we made to the bossy on time 'omg Benny were going to be parents' then as soon as he was born and placed on my chest the first thing I said was 'look at the size of his junk!'

[Charli-Sloan]

When I had Aimee, I had my mum, little sister and the bf in the room with me. I went into labour on my ex's birthday and refused to open my legs for the doctor to examine me til after midnight. But with each contraction it was getting harder and harder to keep them closed. Finally after mdnight I was examined and was still only 5cm so I was given the gas much to me not wanting it but the pain was unbearable (being only 20, pain is not my best friend lol). The only weird things I said was to the bf who was sleeping on the floor, was "get over here before I get off this fire truck of a bed and make you push it out" (we didn't find out the sex of baby). Due to my little sister (only being 12 at the time) being in the room I tried to keep things as nice and non language as possible.