I there Kateo, I am sorry to hear about your treatment by the hospital after Ellen's birth. I am sure that would of been incredibly distressing especially considering the circumstances

I too had a PTSD after the birth of my first child due to hospital treatment (in the ACT). For the birth of my second child we decided that we needed to take as different a road as possible to the first experience. for us, this did mean changing our place of birth. is this an option for you at all?

secondly, we debriefed with a trained psychologist (and thankfully ours specialised in all things pg and birth). i HIGHLY recommend this. I also believe that you should undertake this with your DH.

thirdly, we did a calmbirth course. this really is an empowering mechanism for both you and your partner. it is a great aide in alleviating fear and bring focus inward so that any outside chaos (ie people coming in and out of a room, machines that are buzzing and beeping etc etc) can be tuned out by the subconcious). it is suprisingly simple to achieve but really does need to be learned through a course (rather than read about IMTS) IMHO.

Fourth (and a real big one) we had an independent midwife. these are vastly different from the midwives present at the hossy. as they will be with you and your partner and are soley yours. they can and will be your voice when needed and they will have a deep understanding of your wishes and your and your baby's "normal" and "happy" state. they are a powerful advocate for you and can and will protect you from obtrusion. the relationship you develop with them is powerful and humbling and they will protect you as much as possible. and for me, this was really really important. they are also highly professional and know the birth industry like the back of their hands. for example my midwives had over 20 years experience in delivering babies and being birth support. personally, this would be the best investment you could make and i would sacrifice everything else above, in order to have that person in the room with me, my baby and DH.

anyway, i have rambled on heaps lol. dont want to overwhelm you, but i just remember the paralysing effect that my PTSD had on me anytime i had a hossy appt or stepped into a consultation room and just wanted to let you know that there is hope