so far I'm thinking I want as little visitors as possible to the hospital. I'm planning on breast feeding and as I will be learning I don't want to get stressed, and worry about feeding with visitors there. Also I would like it to be a bonding time for me, the baby and DH. I also don't want the baby being passed around like a doll. But I may change my mind once there! I'm just unsure how I will feel as its my first baby (and first hospital stay)
When I was born, my mum liked having visitors to the hospital. She enjoyed having them.
I'm sort of thinking about saying no visitors for the first day or two (my hospital likes first time mums to stay in for upto 5 days), is it bad to have visitors come when you have the baby blues?. I'm thinking it might be best to have visitors to the hospital rather than have them come to the house when we get home. (I live in a small town and people are likely just to come over without calling first)
what are your views/opinions? how did you go? did you like having visitors to the hospital? or not? did you get to many visitors? or would you have liked more? is it best to have visitors say, the 2nd day, as opposed to the 4th when baby blues is likely.... or does it really not matter!?
Thanks
Last edited by Jen27; October 24th, 2009 at 05:32 PM.
My advice would be too wait and see how you feel, but make sure that you tell everybody before you go into hospital that you will let them know when you are feeling up for visitors. I actualley got a bit bored in hospital so was glad to have visitors- but I had easy births, and found bf quite easy.
When you send out your anoucement SMS I would just add in, something along the lines of "we will let you know when we are up for visitors".
I think the main thing to remember is that it is all about you, your baby and your DH, dont let people pressure you into having visitors until you are ready.
It's really hard to say for sure until bub gets here. Every situation is different & it depends on all sorts of things - what sort of labour / birth you have, is feeding easy or do you have complications etc.
With my first I had loads of visitors & wanted them all, until about day 4 when the baby blues set in & I just wanted my space.
With the boys I was only in for two days, & with AR I was in 5 days - she was in SCN - & I didn't want any visitors at hossie or home for weeks.
I would just warn people that you may or may not feel like loads of visitors & ask if you can let them know when the time comes
i had no 3 visitors the day i had him and there were his godfather and his family then my mum and brothers on day 2 i went home on day 3 i liked not beeing crowded out this bub i want dp and me and birth will be announced via sms family can visit day 2 friends day 3 and home visitors after a week i think that seems fair as my first son has special needs and i want to shower him with all my spare attention and energy while i can
Perhaps just go with how you're feeling after the birth. When you ring/sms people to tell them be sure to say if and when you're up for visitors or you let them know when is a good time.
DS was born at 4:42 in the morning. We rang our parents and immediate family around 8am and told them visiting hours were after 4pm. They weren't really, we just said that so we could have the day to ourselves quietly. Then after our immediate family visited we sms'd everyone else. I found that most people asked when a good time was to come visit so I was able to reply on a case by case basis
I only had a couple of visitors to the hospital..But my MIL was over form NZ staying with us and long story short, she was there EVERY DAY ALL DAY - drove me bonkers. By the time I go tot day3 I was beside myself, in tears to hubby and with no patience to speak of, barely speaking to her or acknowledging her presence. It was horrible.
I really would let people know that you dont want visitors to begin with and you will let people know when you are ready. That way there is no confusion and you can invite people to the hospital that you truly want there
wait and see how you feel when the baby arrives. to be honest, having visitors at the hospital helped my sanity levels! i hate being out of my home environment so it was nice to have friendly faces - BUT - apart from my dad, all my visitors were women with children, they'd all BF, i'd known them all forever - and i had no drama feeding my DD with them there. they were really understanding - i basically said "i'm gonna be boob out - there's the door if you don't like it" - i'm not someone that thought i would be comfy feeding in front of people, so that was a huge thoing for me!
For me I preferred the visitors at hospital than at home. That way when I got home, I could jsut get used to being a mum, didnt have to worry about a clean house or being in my pj's and also the other benefit of having them at hospital was that you can say to them, We are going to have to cut this short as we have a bf, physio class, etc to go to.
The good thing with the staff in the maternity ward is if you tell them you don't want any visitors, they won't let anyone in to visit you (so you don't have to be the bad guy).
I personally would've preferred to have no visitors the day DS was born (he was born just after 3pm) but my mum and sister walked straight into the birth suites not even an hour after I'd had him! I still feel like me and DF missed out on that 'special time' with DS just after he was born because of it and I'm adament that next time there will be no visitors at all until I say I'm ready.
Like the other girls have said, its hard to tell how you're going to feel until it happens and will probably depend on the time of day and length of labour too as to when you're ready for visitors.
I was too the same and didnt want anyone there but once i had DS, i was desperate for vistors so pretty much most my friends came in & family.which was good as DH worked most of the time i was in hospital then when i got out he took 2 weeks off.
Good luck in making the right decision. if anyone asks just tell them that if you are wanting visitors you'll let them know.
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